Sexual orientation

[Eryn T]

That it does, Robyn, that it does.

I'm not on HRT, and it seems like I can um...look forward to being a straight woman afterwards, possibly(but not always the case!)

For me, I was always attracted to women, but I did not like the sight of vaginas, I was much more comfortable with penises.  I've only ever had intercourse as a man with a woman so far, though.  I don't think I would ever be comfortable being with a man, until I could, without a doubt, fully take on the appearance of a woman.

And right now, while my wife does not what a physical relationship with a woman at all, I think I'd be more than happy to service both men and women. But when it comes to getting what I truly want, pleasure-wise, it would have to be with someone who is equipped to dominate my body.

[Donna]

Attraction and sexual orientation are as unique as each of us and the path we chose to follow to transition. I had always been completely heterosexual and nothing else, ok not so. I was bi and happy seeing both sides and that was great, ok not so. About 6 yrs ago my wife and I made some changes and refrained from sex and after an initial few bumps it actually worked. The mind and the body followed and asexual for me followed that. I am completely happy and comfortable and it has actually brought us closer as we are all about each other rather than the drive to just get off for the sake of getting off. We are staying together as girlfriends, partners, companions and soul mates. With no sex desire there is nothing to miss and as such a much closer bond. I have my new name and my wife is going to revert to her maiden name. She has my permission to get a boyfriend if she so needs and I have hers to get a companion if need be. It may be strange but no stranger than my life has already been and this is our definition of sexuality for us.

[Lady Skylar]

Since accepting the fact that I'm a transgender mtf, I have found myself fantasizing about men more often then I ever have in my life and I haven't even started hrt yet.

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[SammyHatesGreenEggs]

I've only ever dated and had sex with women, but consider myself open to the possibility of dating and/or being intimate with a man.  Once I'm further along in transition, I'd like to give that a try.

For now, I've always preferred reading erotica to watching pornography, but have found that my interest in reading material has not only changed to that of a female protagonist/perspective, but stories of women having sex with men.

I would agree that sexuality is separation from gender, and thus feel it's a different path for everyone while transitioning.

[Donna]

Wow what a cool thread. Since my last response on this but two years ago, my spouse and i have separated and are working on being friends. I am polyamorous, like the label pansexual better, and have two partners a cis male around my around my age and a cis female considerably younger.

The universe moves in mysterious ways

I definitely became more attracted to males post HRT

Hello Robyn it is very interest to watch and see the changes everyone goes thru over time. Some good some bad but all unique and a great journal of individual journeys

[Nova_Noelle]

Growing up, I always idealized the feminine form.  I have always recognized and appreciated the beauty of women.  Initially I thought this was an attraction to women, but it was really an appreciation for and an envy of female beauty. 
I felt like was attracted to women, but I never wanted to really have sexual experiences with women.  During my late teens and early twenties, I thought that I was a heterosexual "man."  However, I never had a long term serious relationship with any girls.  I dated a handful of women but it never advanced further than maybe a kiss and my one and only make out session (it felt so weird to me.)  I could never bring myself to fully take on the traditional masculine role in a relationship.  The women that I thought I was "attracted" to were just the models of what I envisioned myself physically appearing like one day. 

I never thought of myself as gay.  I was raised in a very religious Christian household and I was conditioned to have a negative opinion of homosexual lifestyles.  As I have grown and matured, I do not hold the same opinions that I was reluctantly indoctrinated with.  Even though I have always been attracted to men at some conscious or even subconscious level, I have never been able to see myself in a relationship with a man as another man. 

As I have gradually accepted my identity as a woman, I have become more and more comfortable with my attraction to men.  For the last 10+ years, the only way that I have been able to gratify myself sexually is by imagining myself in a submissive sexual role with a man. 

At this point I really do identify as a heterosexual woman.  The only type of serious relationship that I can see myself in socially and sexually is with a man as a woman. 

With Love,
Noelle

[mako9802]

For me I do find women attractive....I am drawn to the female form.  Some of it is because I wish I had that form for myself, and the other part would be legit sexual attraction.  I do like men but only being in the passive role.  It's a turnoff for me to be dominant with a man.   I didn't realize this when I was younger it took years of denial to get to this point.

[pretty pauline]

At this point I really do identify as a heterosexual woman.  The only type of serious relationship that I can see myself in socially and sexually is with a man as a woman. 

I did reach that point in my life. I suppose I transition from a ''hetro male'' to a hetro female. I had a girlfriend before transition, I must have been the worse guy she was with, she deserved better, after we broke up I started my transition and starting dating my first boyfriend, he was with me through the whole transition and supported me throughout. We eventually broke up, nothing to do with my transition, just relationship stuff.
I dated several men and then met my boyfriend (fiancé) after 18 months he proposed, we got engaged and got married in August 2010, he is now my husband of 8 years. We just never know how things work out. Life is full of surprises, I never expected things to turn out as they did, the woman that I have become, a married woman married to a wonderful man, life is so normal, the normality of it all.

[Nova_Noelle]

That is what I'm hoping for too someday Pauline.  Just a normal life as married woman in a loving marriage with a great guy.  I'm just starting my transition but your story really inspires me Pauline.  As my journey continues, I can't wait for the light at the end of the tunnel towards a "normal" life as a woman to become brighter and brighter. 

With Love,
Noelle

[Nikkimn]

I've heard others explain this before and it makes sense to me but as a man having a man attracted to your masculinity was a turn off. However, as a woman having a man attracted to your femininity is different.

[bobbisue]

     This is a subject I spent a lot of time considering before I started transitioning I lived as a hetro male and was unsure if if I could accept a change in sexual attraction finally I realized that if my attractions changed it would not be weird as that would be my new normal this has proven true in my social transition being a woman feels right at this point I have zero sexual drive so I may be asexual or maybe it is part of a change in my sexuality all I know is what I feel is right for me

     Bobbisue

[izzymacattack]

False dichotomy, why choose?!

For real though, bi and pan people exist. For me, it was difficult figuring out a lot of those attractions until after I started to transition. It's hard to love someone else or be attracted to someone else when you don't love yourself.

But really, everyone is sexy! 😎

[Amaki]

Im emotionally and physically attracted to women, but I am closeted Bisexual. As I am right now I have no attraction to men but I did and still do have fantasies as me as a full women with a caring guy (sadly no one in particular). I truly believe none of this transitioning has any barring on who you will feel attracted to in the end. Only you can ever truly know you it'll come natural.

[nightingale95]

Sounds like typical bisexual issues to me.

I'm bi/pan, but I've found that attraction varies based on the individual. Just because you're bi/pan, doesn't mean you're going to be attracted to ALL men and woman ALL the time. Really what it means is that genitals/sex/gender aren't really deal breakers when you really like the person you're with.

I used to operate under the assumption that you had to pick one or the other, or that if you didn't think EVERY guy or girl was hot then you were a failed bisexual, but those are very dated assumptions straight people tend to make about us.

You'll also find that sexuality in general is a spectrum and there really doesn't need to be any fuss in labelling yourself. Our culture prefers that we do because it is SO important that we identify as either "gay", "straight" or "bi" but, at the end of the day, it's no one's business.

Don't worry about it, seriously. Just take your transition one step at a time and hopefully you meet someone you can really click with.

[Susan H]

I could be wrong, but it seems to me that who or what you are/were attracted to before, will be the same after.
Although labels may change, in my youth i thought of myself as gay. But now, if asked, i tell people i'm straight. I'm still attracted to men. But other peoples perception of me has changed.

[VickyS]

I was attracted to both from about age 10 when my sexuality started to appear, then labelled myself as bisexual for most of my life until recently.  I have only been with one woman (my current wife), but with more men before her.

My attraction to men was always stronger and more intense (as was the sex) than with women.

Now, (pre-HRT), I can find women attractive but not sexually.  The closer I get to women (physically), any attraction falls off but it's the opposite with men, the closer I get, the more attraction I feel.

I REALLY don't like vaginas, they turn my stomach so needless to say, I don't have a physical relationship with my wife, much to her frustration.   Although, sexually I feel very much like a hetero woman, I don't like the heterosexual label.  Nothing against heterosexuals, but it's not for me.  I love gay culture and have identified as non-hetero for so long that it just doesn't feel right, so I'd have to say I'm pan or poly sexual as I don't like cis-women but I do like some trans-women.  Weird eh?

I also like super masculine men or super feminine men and in all cases I take the submissive role.  I have never liked performing as the 'man'.  It felt weird and a little silly if I'm honest and VERY unnatural.

Echoing what has been said before, I can't say that I'm gay because I internally identify as female (still presenting as male) but like men.  Can't say I'm straight as presenting as male I don't want people to think I'm attracted to women, so I say androphilic!

[LizK]

Sexual Orientation...that certainly is an interesting one...I have been married for 33 years and for the last 15 have basically been celibate due initially to health issue for both of us. At one point I could not physically tolerate the physical actions needed in love making. My wife had her own physical issues. For me these turned out to be a convenient excuse for not having sex. To be honest the conflict raging in me was a big part of the issue.


Each time we did the deed I could not help but put myself in the role of female in my head...this was not a satisfactory outcome and just made me even more distraught.

Since starting HRT and comming out I have noticed that I have the courage to talk about my desire for men in a way that feels right and sits right with me. I want to be with a guy who wants me becuase I am a woman...not because I started out life as a guy. This stuff is all in my head and I won't ever act on it. I made a vow to my wife ..."till death us do part" and until that happens I will remain faithful to her and refrain from "trying out the new equipment"  after November.


HRT and transition have allowed me to finally own my feelings about sexuality, I am still attracked to women so I guess I am bi ?

Liz

[pamelatransuk]

I have always have a minor attraction towards women and nothing has changed since HRT.

Therefore I must classify as asexual with minor lesbian tendencies.

Pamela

[Amie June]

Sexual attraction discussions are always so fascinating! I've gravitated towards women (friends and relatives) my entire life and even considered myself a male lesbian for many years as an adult. (I know many would challenge the term, but I've done enough reading and this seems to apply to me.) Now that I'm transitioning, it's very clear that I only want to be with women. I don't even like being near men, especially alpha male types, and will avoid them whenever I can. After 3 1/2 months on HRT, it even seems like the world is only populated by women

Hugs to everyone,

Lindy