What was your best friends reaction when you told them you were trans

[stephaniec]

I just waited too long to transition. By the time I did I had no one to tell exept for a niece and a sister I hadn't seen in 20 years. I lucked out that they have been very accepting.

[Deborah]

I've only told one person other than the Dr's and that was my wife about 10 years ago.  She qualifies as my best friend.

She was giving me massive grief over cross dressing because I couldn't tell her why.  Between the grief and self imposed guilt I got to the point that death was seeming a preferable option.  So I told her and that was that.  It wasn't such a big deal anymore and my suicidal desires subsided. 

I owe her a big time unpayable debt for that.


Sapere Aude

[CrazyCatMan]

The first friend I told reaction was super weird. She asked if I was attracted to her, I said no I wasn't (I'm gay) and then she never talked to me again. Still have no idea if they disliked the fact that I was trans or the fact that I didn't find them sexually attractive.   

[Hazardus01]

Most people my husband has told have been supportive and have said "it's about time" as he has taken years to finally accept being trans. It explains a lot about his early life and his mother even said "I was beginning to wonder about that" when he told his parents recently. They are supportive of him and so is his brother and sister in law.

I am his best friend and I have taken a while to realize fully what it means that he is trans and not just a cross dresser anymore. I have had to change my outlook because I always thought it was environmental not biological so that is a struggle for me, but I am doing my best to support him. I call him "he" because that is his preference at this stage.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[Willowicious]

BFF #1: Are you sure the hormones are safe?
BFF #2: So you going to go full Jenner?
BFF #3: Wow, that's surprising, I thought you were just really femme gay
BFF #4 + 5, plus pretty much everybody else I told: Yeah, I always knew, just so long as you're happy

[alex82]

I had good friends I worked with. They were nice but they tried to talk me out of it. We were all good Mormon church members so you can imagine where that conversation went. We didn't keep in touch after that. I made new friends. Good friends. Friends I can talk to about anything without fear of reprisal. I like it better now.

As I scrolled down, I landed on you Cindi - I would never have thought you weren't born female. You look like an elegant middle aged lady.

My friends (so far) have all been great. Apart from one who said ''I've had enough trouble transitioning myself to deal with yours as well'' - she meant 'transitioning' from a house in a great area to a flat in a modest area because she's lost most of her money!!! The coldness of it was hurtful.

[alex82]

She is an ardent feminist who believed that gender was totally a social construct and that transgender people were fooling themselves into believing they were something they aren't.

Needless to say, we had some very interesting discussions.

She's a sweet, accepting, loving person. I see her torn between her feeling that it's important to accept me and her deep belief that there is no such thing as inborn gender.

I have a very close friend who is exactly like this, who I've avoided telling for just that reason. Whenever it's come up about other people/in the media before, I've defended transsexuals and told her gently to move on.

I found pointing out Chas Bono quite helpful - I said, do you really think he's doing it for male privilege, or because it's a fad, or he wants to pee standing up, or to grab the spotlight from Cher? No? So why would you suggest mtf reasons are to 'muscle in on women's advances like a trojan horse' - or 'invade womens spaces and get off on it' - or 'jealousy that his wife was prettier'? So she's toned it down a bit.

But I still don't want to have the chat with her. I even went straight to her house for dinner after my latest doc appointment, in make up and pretty androgenous student style clothes, and she said 'you look fantastic', and i said 'i feel great' - but I still didn't tell her why or where I'd been, other than 'at the doctor'.

She just thinks I'm a very very effeminate gay man/boychild. The references to that get a bit wearing - so apart from the Great Feminist Debate we'll have to have, she'll also be upset about losing her token gay toy that she can wheel out and tell everyone she meets ''this is my gay friend''.

[Amanda_Combs]

I just told my best friend today.  It went so much better than I would have dreamed.  She said, "I don't care.  WAIT! Sorry...I mean I care about you."  I completely understood what she meant.  She even said that It's not gross or anything and that she understands that I'm not Jared Leto(I really hate that movie BTW)  Anyway, between her and my wife I feel supported in a way that feels like I've just dropped a couple metric tons off of my chest.

[NicoleAshley]

My best friend is pansexual, and he literally noticed the trans pride flag as the background of my iPad and said, "Oh hey, you're trans. That's cool," and then asked the questions of how long I've known, and things like that.

[Estelle]

I haven't had a friend in roughly 12 years (not counting people I know online). I suppose the closet thing I had to one was my sister. Her response was outright delusional. I heard it all from "God doesn't make mistakes" to "You'll always be a man" to "What you plan to do is stupid and selfish" and "It's just a phase". She was angry, confused, and swore that it was apart of God's plan that she found out because she'd do everything in her power to "convert me back to normal." She had a savior complex. She referred to me using various masculine pronouns much more frequently. She broke my shaver and threw away all of my feminine belongings. She claimed that transgender people are the sign of upcoming apocalypse and that they must be converted or eliminated. She demonized and dehumanized me. She kept trying to take pictures of me to remember me by, even though I didn't want her to. She immediately told the rest of my family (who are also transphobic but considerably more hostile/violent), even though she swore that she wouldn't. When confronted with breaking her promise, she claimed that God told them (blatant lies). Then suddenly she became silent. She acted like she never discovered the truth. The level of denial was pitiful yet frightening. In a very short amount of time, I ran away and stopped all contact with her and everyone else in my family for fear of losing my life. I've been homeless ever since. Long story short, she was anything but supportive.

That was my family; I knew them my whole life. The reaction was so negative that I still occasionally have nightmares about it.

[Midnightstar]

All my friend said was " cool "

My best friend original thought it was a phase not to be a jerk either i just went into so many sexuality's and i think she expected it to just be a phase. But as time went on she eventually told me "I want you to do what makes you happy" and eventually said  you'll be a brother to me just like you where a sister (because before everything she always considered me a sister" so it was really nice. So i know its a difference but she took it very well and supports me she even is willing to be there the day i take T if i decide to.

[FrancisAnn]

None of my friends were suprised at all. I've always been female anyway since early childhood.

[Sharon Anne McC]

 * it is nice reading all the good recollections, sad reading the bad - what is the generational difference of approval versus disapproval? - i lost all family - i hinted it to my friend in 1974 to his bad reaction, i kept quiet til 1985, ...

[Sharon Anne McC]

 * in 1985, before i could tell him, there i was post-op in stealth as his 'best man' - i sat him down a few days later and told it all to him - he took it well a few weeks then sicced guys on me to beat me up - we're estranged 31 years.

[stephaniec]

wow, sorry

[Draculess]

I remember I had told my one super-close friend not too long ago and I was like, "So, I'm sure you were like surprised at first--"
and he's like, "No. Not really. You always just seemed different. I don't mean that in a bad way. You're just yourself. You're becoming more like yourself." and he also said that mainly I don't really act any different then before, except I seem happier and more confident. He still makes some pronoun and dead name slips now and then, but he's certainly trying, and that reaction meant a lot to me.

My other best friend was also really supportive. He was there really early on when I thought maybe I was just a crossdresser, but the trans-ness of it all quickly became apparent, and since the time I eventually told him plainly that I was a trans woman and what name to call me, he hasn't deadnamed or misgendered me once and we've known each other since pre-K. He only says my old name referencing me to people I haven't come out to. lol its kind of crazy to think he did that so naturally when a lot of people I've only known since high school have a lot of trouble with it still. I think it kind of helped him being a fan of Against Me! because he was like sort of aware of trans stuff via Laura Jane.

my grandmother (who is totally my bestie and my mom more or less) is mainly pretty supportive after a lot, a lot, a lot of explaining, (even got p.o.'d about the bathroom bills with me) but she annoys me a little bit when she sometimes says, "they didn't have all this back in my time. things are so different now."

and like yeah, there was a lot less treatment, but trans people are just more visible, there aren't more of them. then again she also told me rock, paper, scissors was "after my time, hon" and that she didn't know how to play lol

[SophiaBleu]

I told my girlfriends first, then girlfriends husbands, then male friends.  So far, so good.  But there haven't been that many changes on my side other than coming out.  Who knows what will happen once I start HRT and dressing out more.  But so far, all friends have been super cool!

[Sspar]

BFF#1.. took about 6 months to believe me then too come to terms..All good now ( lives far away .. friends for 40yrs ).
BFF#2.. laughed his ass off.. asked some questions.. acts no different now.. ( learned his son came out as gay recently )
BFF work.. Yea...ok.. treated no different ( I get female insults now)
BFF Wife.. very pissed.. has come to terms.. has come a long way in a year.. ( still does not like the lesbian label )
over all..90 % of the people have been either neutral or supportive..
I learned that alot of people i know have gay, cross dress, or trans children.. which living in a rural conservative area was very surprising.. which is also why i guess no one ever talked about it.. must be something in the water

[Luna Star]

Most of my friends kinda replied with a "ah okay, cool I guess".

The ones that already have seen me in a skirt were a little weirded out at first but I guess it quickly became normal.
I did hear from my friends afterwards though I seemed to be more relaxed in that attire.

[SarahMarie1987]

My best friend has known me since I was 12. We are both 29 currently. So she has known me through the times as "Ryan" (my male name assigned at birth) and "Sarah" (the one I have chosen for myself). And when we were talking about it* this is what sticks out the most to me:

"That makes sense to me." Just the simplicity and her acceptance is amazing. She has shown continual support and love for me even when I am not on HRT at the moment. To most of the outside world who sees me as "Ryan", she sees me as "Sarah" and loves me still. It is an amazing feeling. I wish I could share it with you all.

*The whole story of how I have always felt this way, I hid it while we were kids, etc etc etc.