I feel trapped by my living situation. If you knew my background and previous posts, I feel stuck without any good job for money and I'm growing a lot more impatient, not just because of LGBT reasons but wanting to get a life in general. I don't know what my qualifications are, I might have none so far, and my schedule is saturated with CI staff that get in the way of me trying to help myself, which I want to prove to my staff, but I don't know exactly the list of everything they want. They also demand me to do little things everyday differently so I don't "stand out" (don't talk in a monotone, all that). It's sick, it bothers me that I can't live independently as an adult and still be living at home. I may not even have control over what they demand of me. I'm supposed to be in control of my own life, but I feel staff (and the state program that they are participating in to assist me) very limiting and demanding. Worse is, that I can't just justify it by telling them because "I am confused about my gender and need to seek help, so that is why I want to move to independence.
I have no connections my age, no resources for me. Having mild "asperger's autism" sucks. I'd rather live without having ever realized that condition was part of me. I cannot let go of this, I'm always going to be aware that I am somewhere on the autism spectrum! My situation is even worse than other asperger's people I met my own age.
I just wanted to let that out. I'm growing very impatient, I want everything done now so I can explore my gender identity more in peace and away from prying eyes, and to ultimately get to my destination.
Sure I made a thread about my staff and living situation before, but I just want to let this one out.
I'm not relieved. I feel the complete opposite of "relieved".
