Hi everyone, It's my Birthday!!!

[Tasha_]

I hope you start feeling better!!! But the facebook sounds bunk.... I have never had to do that and have been locked out of my account a few times.....

The dysphoria  thing does happen to is all in waves I think, be strong!!!

[Rebecca]

Pity about FB. They should at least restore it once they get what they want.

Would be lovely to get everything at once and looking ahead there is always so much to be done.

Sometimes we can forget just how far we have come so check the path behind you once in a while and remember how impossible where you are now seemed back then.

Those wee ticker bars sneak along pretty quick at times as does time itself.
Heck I've already started Christmas shopping and looking forward to my 1st Christmas

We can all have those moments looking in the mirror. I did recently too..... then solved it my usual beautician is on maternity leave and her replacement although good does not do my eyebrows to the same design as normal. The result? I just looked wrong but couldn't really place it so dug out a photo and went "Gotcha" then got them redone. Still not an exact match but she's closer and by the time I teach her what I want my regular will be back (pleeeeease be back lol). Sometimes the smallest detail can make us feel a bit off but that's the price of wanting to be perfect.

As frivilous and cliched as it may seem a nice "me day" with the credit card can work wonders.
My cure last Tuesday got hair, nails, new lippy to match the nails, fake leather leggings, sexy cool shoulder top with my fave ankle boots and a decaffe mocha latte at Costa with my friend who skived off work to join me
Felt like I could take over the world even when it lashed down with rain (Not a surprise in Glasgow) but damn I looked seriously good in that rain.

Might want to avoid my advice though as I'm still a bit 12ish at times and prone to irresponsible fun stuff that my grown up side has to clean up after.

It's all a waiting game but we can have fun while we wait.

Hope you feel better soon and give yourself credit for what you've achieved instead of beating yourself up over things you can't do more about.

[Rebecca]

Oh Tash I just realised I forgot to answer about the fertility bit for Spiro.

As far as I know you are supposed to be permanently impotent after about 3 months it will vary of course but thought I should say.

Damn can't talk numbers but imagine if you are on what some would call a half dose or low dose you may have longer. (Safe to stay vague I hope)

Best bank it sooner rather than later just in case.

Performance I can't comment on as I stopped sex before hormones but I am happy to say that in my case my animal sex drive is totally gone and would wager that even if I tried to use it (yeah right, as if) it probably wouldn't work. I've read about people though who keep and use their male parts through low dose HRT and/or Viagra but don't know enough to provide any help there.

[Jenny0713]

Thanks all. As always, I appreciate your support. It does help. I think I know one thing that is missing when I look in the mirror. My big hoop earrings!  Since I got my ears pierced I haven't been able to wear them. Such a bummer. Again, a waiting game until my ears heal so I can wear real earrings. Oh well. At work now. Talk to you all soon.

Jenny


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[Rachel_Christina]

 Hi everyone,
I'm sorry to hear about the sudden burst of dysphoria, it sucks. You just gotta be patient with it.
I just passed two months, and already have soft skin and by beans are sooo sore to touch, and slightly puffy.
The best thing I have noticed is that at the temples ther is tones of small hairs growing in ther that never wher ther before, I am so amased.
Keep looking forward and be very patient. If all I get is the hair in those corners I will be made up, they arent bad as is, but could be better!
Oh and on another note, I came out again to my mother, it honestly didn't go so bad, and I had a bit of a laugh too.
I hope she doesn't try to just forget about like she did years ago

[Jenny0713]

Great to hear you are making progress. I am right at about 1 month now on E. I guess all we can do is keep going and keep being ourselves. Much better than going back, that's for sure.


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[SarahElizabeth1981]

Hi all,
  that's really sucks about FB Jenny. buttheads! I hope the name change is going well. that will help resolve some things.

if you recall last month I had my face waxed.... I was a little disapointed in that i had hair growing back in a couple weeks. But at least there was less. Anyway, I went and bought a home waxing kit which was on sale. it worked but I'm not great at waxing myself. So, I was super excited because for so many hairs the ENTIRE hair came out. I know waxing pulls out the entire hair. but I mean I got the hair, the bulb and the sheath. Everything! For a lot of them anyway. So the bright side is that, so far, I've barely had any regrowth. Like over 90 maybe even 95 % less. they are also way finer and mostly blonde. so as annoying as they are  they're not that noticeable. It's too soon to say what the long term result will be but I'm crossing my fingers and hoping that I've gotten rid of a lot of them. Now if only the rest of the hair on my body would do the same thing.....

[Jenny0713]

That's great Sarah. I actually have my fourth laser session on my face today. I didn't see any results after the third session so I hope I see something this time. Not overtly optimistic though. They said it can take many sessions to notice a real difference. Very frustrating. I have heard of others having results after three or four sessions but I still have to shave twice a day if I want to avoid the 5 o'clock shadow. Seems like a waste. I'm not overly convinced laser is a good option for me because I might have quite a few gray hairs in my beard. So that could be the reason why I'm not seeing results. Oh well got to get ready for work. Talk to you girls later.

Jenny


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[Rebecca]

Lucky Sarah with the waxing hope it continues for you.

Face I think I had about 8 NdYag laser sessions on face before starting electrolysis but kinda wishing I did 10 as some of the hairs weren't dead enough and recovered setting me back a couple of weeks for electrolysis. No biggie really though but did give the whole reversion fear.

Body is laser only so far. I'll count the sessions later but steady progress. Arms very fine and sparse. Inner thigh bit heavier but on the whole thinning out. Nice to see the gaps between the hairs growing. Sporting 4 weeks growth and feeling ok with bare arms during the day and legs at night with my nightie. That said I would totally still need to shave my legs if I was gonna put them on display.

In again on Sunday for laser and hope to do again before 28th Oct as Batgirl most definitely does not have legs like Chewbacca. Would like to think my body will be done by the end of this year but we'll see.

I'll add up my totals so far and edit them in. Everyone different but it gives an idea.

8 face laser sessions
6 full body laser sessions (started as 8 weekly but changed to 4 as I want faster results)
45.5h of electrolysis so far (3h per week usually)

[Rebecca]

Extra thing for electrolysis which probably won't happen to anyone else but figured I should mention just in case.

Before hormones my brain and nervous system were basically shot to bits nothing new there. One of the very few benefits of that was I never really felt pain properly either. Don't get me wrong I could detect damage and it wasn't pleasant but my senses were heavily dampened making even the worst wounds not that bad to handle.

Great when I started electrolysis I literally slept for hours while she worked on me and she worked hard. My face and neck looked like I'd stung by a swarm of angry bees but even then no pain. She was amazed at how much torture I could take and still sleep soundly during it.

Brilliant but........ After my brain started healing my nervous system was not far behind. At first pretty subtle all senses gradually improved I could feel things like fluffy for example but eventually I could also feel pain. At a certain point it then hit a growth spurt increasing everything more than I had ever experienced.

The flip side each week at electrolysis is now agonising and gets worse every week as my nervous system continues to heal and develop properly. Normal people have had a lifetime to learn how to handle pain which I don't have which is a bit of a problem for me.

I might have mentioned before that some things used to not work on me properly like caffeine made me drowsy, alcohol wouldn't really do anything until at ridiculously high/toxic levels and codeine didn't really do anything but was kinda nice it would destatic my head and let me think clearly (rereading that I'd have to say it was like a stimulant).

Figured now stuff like caffeine and alcohol (mmmmm love wine) works I'd try painkillers so have some cocodamol before electrolysis thinking oh well it will work or it won't so no risk right.

I was wrong very very wrong. It somehow amped up my nervous system and INCREASED my pain. The next 3 hours were pure torture. I was barely able to control myself through breathing and tried and failed to displace my mind (I can't separate any more which is good and bad I guess). Couple of minutes from the end I broke completely with full on sobbing etc she told me only a few hairs left to get so I choked it back and asked her to finish which she did.

She was a bit freaked out but fortunately she knew about my concerns of taking painkillers that day and I explained their unexpected result. So I still have my 3 hours next time but defo no painkillers as I can't go through that again. Likewise she doesn't really want to work on me for 3h if I'm crying all the way through it which I can understand as she'd need to have a heart of stone to do that.

Ok I've rambled but if any of you have a similar nerve dampening thing make the most of it and get your electrolysis sooner rather than later.

[Jenny0713]

Wow. So very interesting. It was like you were a robot programmed backwards.

Had my 4th laser session today. Will see later if there is any difference. There was none after the first 3.

I am on FB again by the way. I sent friend requests you you all except Jerrica of course.

Jenny


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[Tasha_]

Hmm, reading Jerrica's post is interesting, I never really thought about it like that. The dampened pain and such.... the lack of effects from drugs unless in high doses...... all sounds really familiar....

[Rebecca]

Fingers crossed the hormones fix you too Tash and really cool to hear you've had a similar experience maybe some day they'll make some kind of machine to check our wiring    (I wouldn't let them rewire me as a guy though I really don't think I'd like it but my brother certainly has no end of fun being a total alpha guy I'd rather be me though)

It's really cool being like really alive and here instead of just being a bunch or clumsily built constructs on malfunctioning hardware but it is a bit scary at times considering I'm now basically mortal and can be hurt just like any other normal girl.

That and the loss of physical strength can leave you feeling defenceless but it's a worthy trade considering what I have gained.

Who knows though maybe if I'm ever in a dangerous situation I'll find out I have new super powers.

Random funny my eldest daughter decided my previous name was Voldermort as I kept referring to "him" as "He who must not be named" when we talk about "him". Decided we liked it and it gives us a great way to talk freely without me flinching if I hear his name then her feeling bad about it. He was her dad after all for about 10 years but she totally prefers her "other Mum" to her Dad which is awesome 

She loves talking about her 2 Mums at school even using us in her homework when asked about where your parents want to go in the world she and why she had "Mum wanted to go to Timbuktu just to make her spell it and her other Mum wanted to go to Italy for pizza, pasta & wine" no prizes for guessing which one is me.

[Jenny0713]

Awesome, Jerrica!  You've got a great daughter and she's got a great Mum in you.

When did you start noticing the decrease in physical strength?  Just curious.


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[Tasha_]

Thanks Jerrica, I can't wait to find out... things are beginning to move forward for me, so.... Yay!!!

[Jenny0713]

Yay!!!!


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[Rachel_Christina]

Hi girls,
How sweet is this comment i recieved after coming out l to an online friend.

"No of course i dont. You have always come across as a very nice caring person. I am just pleased that you think enough about me that you are able to share it with me.People ought to get to know the person before they make judgements. It has not changed the way i feel about you. I am just happy that we are friends and hope we continue to be"

And for you girls on HRT what have you expierienced so far.
Me Jenny and Sarah are pretty new, and you are further on Jerrica, while Tasha is in the waiting, hopefully soon you get on Tasha, and on the doses thats right for you.
I'm very curious how yous are getting on??

[Rebecca]

More than happy to fill you in on everything but for now I need to run home.

[Rachel_Christina]

Have fun Jerrica!

[Jenny0713]

I mainly just feel more calm. My co-workers did mention they saw a bit of a change in my face.   I am still curious when I would expect to experience the loss of physical strength though. I don't think I have felt that yet.


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