Hi everyone, It's my Birthday!!!

[Rachel_Christina]

Hey Girls!!! :')
I am nearly out of the horrible work hours, I still worked to half 10 last night, which is a little earlyer, and hopefully tonight It will be even last, Its been nearly a month since I have had a day off, my hands have all hacked up and pretty much stained black on the underside.
Hopefully might get this Saturday or Sunday off.
I am so shatered right now, I would love a long weekend or something to recuperate.
My mother has been particularly horibble lately, come out with things like its a mental disorder and whatnot, she has really drained me at a time I need much strength, thank god I told my brother, he has been great, but he wants to see her on her own and face to face before he trys to set her straight.
My boobs have been growing away too, they are tiny cones but they can be quite anoying when I'm washing up at the end of the day, in a good way though.
So sore to bump em of things,
I would love to have some tests done though, I find my hips are big for what once was a guy, and I have no hairs anywher, and my beared is super sparse, I was shocked when I seen my ywo younger brothers a month ago, proper full beards. I am so lucky.
Might be that I was androgen insensitive atleast to a degree.
I would love to know.
How have things been for you girls? Any mad advancements in transition?
I hope use are all well. I am off to work again

[SarahElizabeth1981]

Hi Christine,
   I was thinking of you earlier and hoping you were doing ok. I'm sorry to hear you mum is making it hard for you. Hopefully your brother can help you with her. I can't even imagine what it's like to work that much but I feel for you. I hope you get a break soon.

Exciting your body is responding to the hormones and changing. It must be soo exciting. I have to admit I'm a little jealous.

I saw my doctor today to get a refill for the Spironolactone and to go over some test results. Stupid company, I'm getting really annoyed with them. So, the company that he works for called me and told me the doctor wanted me to come in to discuss the results of my lab work. It had me freaking out a bit. He didn't understand why 'cause everything was normal. It's a private company so I think they just wanted me to come in so they could charge the government for a visit. 

I had to go see him for the refill anyway. I did also get to talk to him about everything. The last time I saw him I had him refer me to another psychiatrist and to change endocrinologists. I did hear that my referral to the psychiatrist was accepted. But I didn't hear anything about the endocrinologist. the response he got from the department was that they wouldn't do anything for me until I saw a Psychiatrist. GRRRR Stupid

On that note if your recall back I did also get a referral to another psychiatrist which I'm going to see in December. Although the letter said it was done by my doctor and his name was on the referral he didn't know anything about it. Again it was the company he works for sending me to one of their own Psychiatrists. the whole cash grab nature of it pisses me off but maybe seeing them will help me. sorry for the ranting.

On one last note I got my hair cut a couple days ago.  I didn't really want to lost any hair but for the health and to clean it up I needed to. it looks much better and the back is mostly the same length now. which means I can just sit back and let it grow longer. other then the occasional trim to remove split ends i shouldn't have to lose any significant length again.  I hope you all are doing good

[Rebecca]

Yay posts. I had to stop myself from posting as I've been putting up too much.

So glad to hear from you Christine and that your brother is with you.
Always fantastic news for breast growth so yay you

Been working myself to death for a bit but almost back to a more manageable pace.

For good news though I've got trach tomorrow and crushing big time on a guy at work.
I'm going to do something silly and try to see him tonight away from work as just us to get to know him.
Thinking coffee or something (anything).

Eeek boss is back hitting button

[Jenny0713]

Hi girls!  Sorry I haven't posted on here much lately. I have posted some on FB so you might already know what's going on with me. I can now say I am 100% out now that my son knows about me. So I am me now forever. Got my nails done last night for the first time. They are much longer than I have ever had them so they will take some getting used to. I love them though. It makes my hands seem more slim. I have been reaching out to old friends and former co-workers lately. Reconnected with my hot air ballooning friends recently and finally got to go ballooning for the first time in years. So much fun. Just crewing and chasing for the most part. My legal name change should be official in a few weeks too. Can't wait to get started changing everything including my gender marker on my drivers license. Hope all is going well for you all. Talk to you soon.

Jenny


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[Rachel_Christina]

Thanks Sarah, its nice to be slipping back in to normality, will still have the odd late night, but atleast Sunday should be off.
My mother has been really bad, its so sad cause I trusted her enough to talk. I should have known though as she is super religious :/
My brother that I told has been just amasing, not in a million years was I expecting that, its the best feeling in the world.
I hope you can get sorted out soon Sarah, get your E, it changes everything.
You stopped moving in the wrong direction with the Spiro, now its time to get moving in the right direction.
And I am happy for you too Jerrica, hope it goes well your wee date :3
And Jenny, how did your son take it?
Having long nails is nice, I have always grown my nails even as a guy, people would never really notice though.
Anyway, time for me to jump out of this bath!

[Jenny0713]

He took it wonderfully!  He is such a good kid!  He was calling me ma'am and everything. He said I looked pretty as soon as he got in the truck when I picked him up. Didn't phase him at all.


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[Rachel_Christina]

Thats so nice Jenny, your are so lucky that he was so nice about it.
Nice to hear the nice storries.

[Rebecca]

Trach done

All went great one minute I'm in the anesthesia room the next I'm in recovery and I was still me!!!!! Was kinda scared that if I was knocked out I might have been lost in the reboot but phew.

Was ok to to eat, drink and move around within 30 mins. My body knows what movements not to make which is really cool. Obviously no big fast or strong movements for a while but still able to whip up breakfast and do the school run (I really should have a cape for doing my Supermum stuff).

Throat feels really raw and my voice is shot to pieces (more from the tube down throat than the op) but other than that feeling good. Just feels like a normal sore throat I guess and although the voice is granitey it's still my voice and not his.

Incision placement was on the throat itself so it's really going to stand out for a bit but less than my Adams apple did. Now my main concern is on minimising the scar.

Didn't manage to see my crush before surgery and I'm a but more shy now my voice is trashed. Still I'm sure I'll heal fast enough and he gives me something to think about while at home.

Now also need a cover story for scar if asked in the future.

[SarahElizabeth1981]

that's awesome Jerrica. another step in the process complete.

I heard there is a gender clinic opening in a nearby city... super excited.. hopefully i can get in soon. going to my doctor for a referral when his office opens. 

[Rebecca]

That is defo good news Sarah hopefully the new place will have a short list until more people find out about it.

I still find it amazing that the GIC hasn't even seen me yet. Soooooo slow here 12 months is insane to see someone. I'm just lucky my GP is so awesome to get me access to stuff without them so far.

Makes the GIC kind of pointless apart from holding the keys to SRS. Would have thought they'd be more useful for transitioning when I first read about them.

Ah well January getting closer every day I just hope they are worth the wait as I plan to be finished by the end of next year with or without them.

[Rebecca]

Need to see if I can find a "Planning your Thailand SRS trip 101" on the net.

Think I'll see how fast it could be done if I took out a loan to do it.

[SarahElizabeth1981]

Yeah, that's what I'm thinking Jerrica. surely the waiting time will be shorter being a new clinic. 2 years to see the long time gender psychiatrist here is ridiculous. the 1 year for you is too long too. it wouldn't be so bad if endo wasn't being difficult and denying me estrogen until I see them. I've heard she will be doing referrals to endo so that's awesome. Not sure if she has been authorized by the gov't to do referrals for surgery so I will have to wait to find that out. I just hate having to wait to find out. because she is in a different city my doctor wasn't able to locate her in his data base. apparently it only give him local doctors. So, he sent the request off and the office will have to do it. I'm crossing my fingers and hoping to hear something soon. 

[Rebecca]

The system is painfully slow but it's amazing what we achieve while waiting.
The sceptic in me says it's on purpose to kill off the weak. Whether that's true or not though I won't just accept waiting I'm too impatient and too stubborn a woman for that.

Even now I'm giving serious thought to Thailand. One way or another by the end of next year I have to be finished. Will be aiming for asap though. Once GIC finally say "Hello" I'll try to find out what their realistic plans are then make it happen.

Waiting is dangerous stuff. They really should at least do an initial consult with GICs instead of nothing for years. They could even give advice on what to do while waiting etc. I for one could have been lost forever if I didn't get lucky with my meds.

On the plus side per the guidelines here I'll meet all the criteria for surgery in January. Basically 12 months hormones for which they already have copies of all my blood tests and over 12 months RLE with bonus of speech therapy complete, full face, body and genitals hair free, trach done and a massive paper trail more than meets it. Even BMI which isn't a factor will be back under 20. My attire and everything really is as obvious as you can get lucky for me I'm a classic girly girl I guess.

Naturally they'll still need to do psych but anyone that can't diagnose me in 30 seconds or less shouldn't have a license

Really hope the new place works out for you fast and they get you what you need.

[Rachel_Christina]

Hey girls, hope use are all well.
I had been being bombarded with insults from my mother even on Skype, the last she nailed me again, saying how it was " Selfish", I simply hung up, the next day she did say Sorry though, I hope it means maybe something. :/ its been really hard. Even here in my appartement with my brother staying till Christmas, I haven't had the peace to be myself, (this is the brother who doesn't know), honestly though, they see how I am and it should really be no supprise.
On my HRT I'm on way to 4 months, my breast growth is rather good, mostly buds, with some fat starting to form.
Skin is amasing, and my hair to, the corners of my hairline are actually filling in with fine hairs that are starting to darken.
In 19 days I have my next endo appointment, I should be bumped up to full female dose E, and so should my blocker, after my blood work. I hope so anyway.
Other than my mother, I have been so happy, I don't even think about the fact that I'm trans, it litteraly doesn't cross my mind
Hoping to notice fat distribution sometime, I think it will happen after my dose goes up.
I just keep looking forward to my changes, christmas time and getting a proper break from work, I know next year will be a tough one, but I will get through it!
I hope you girls are all well, and hope use are keeping postive,
Sometimes things get tough and its hard to keep positive, I wrote this post mostly to just get my thoughts out ther, I kind of feel I needed to!
Anyway,... :3 Ciao Ciao

[Jenny0713]

Hello Christine. So sorry about your mom and having to avoid being yourself around your brother. I totally understand how that is since up until recently I had to pretend to be a guy around my son. Definitely no fun. Really cool to hear about your 4 month changes!  Makes me excited to think of the changes I might see in myself in a few months. I too have an endo appointment in December. I will be curious if my doctor increases my meds too. Always wondering how my T and E numbers are changing. I am sure they will do blood work at my appointment too. Will be interesting to see if the numbers change from last time. Of course, last time they were pretty much in the normal male range. Hopefully that is changing. Feeling really good right now since I am now 100% out and am now legally Jenny. Russ is gone. Woo hoo!  Now I have to work on getting everything changed to my new name. Lots of work. Oh well, good to hear from you. Talk to you soon. Jenny.


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[Jenny0713]

132 days since starting Spiro and 69 days since starting Estradiol.


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[SarahElizabeth1981]

Hi Christine, I'm so sorry to hear about your mum. It always kills me just a little when I hear someone is having problems with a family member. It's a lot to go through and dealing with other peoples issues is just so unfair. we all love you here and are here for you.

Exciting about the changes. With every passing day you have a bit more of the body you were meant to have. I know you are strong, beautiful and that you will make it.

I wore my boots today for the first time in months and they are not as tight as they once were. I'm pretty sure my feet have shrunk even if only slightly. They are not as tight at they were before. Also today, I was cleaning some make up off my face and I'm looking every so intently at myself in the mirror and I thought I look different. was lookng at myself again this evening and I can't describe it but it looks thinner, softer maybe.

not sure how to monitor changes in my face but I heard a suggestion a while ago to trace your hands and feet. At the time I thought "whatever" but now i'm kind of intrigued. I'm going to do it so I can at least compare now to some future date.

My surgery is tomorrow... not really looking forward to it but it'll be nice to be done with it. I'll post an update when i get home. take care girls.

[Rachel_Christina]

Thanks Jenny and Sarah, I know I got yous! :3
Yes Jenny, I wish ther was some kind of monitor we could look at to know if evrything is in the right levels,
i don't mind Estrogen fluctuating abit, but Testosterone has to sit down low, definitly thinking Orchi to certify that.
Its great you are 100% out Jenny, must be nice not having to worry about that anymore.
3 people know about me, My mum a brother and my gf :')
Thats great news to hear Sarah, maybe its weight loss too?
I will hopefully get the same luck,when I get to be me after Christmas again.
Work has calmed down abit now, but you are still never sure of getting out on time, the organisation is just disasterous, this year I spent most of my time on my side as one girl army, its been tough, the boss knows I pulled him out this year, and I will talk to him hopefully this week :3
What is this Surgery Sarah? O: trach?
I hope Tash is alright, haven't heard from her in a while.
Im offt Work ciao

[SarahElizabeth1981]

My surgery is for kidney stones.  so, disappointingly  nothing to do with transitioning. my weight is pretty much the exact same has been for a long time. after 8 sessions of lipo laser i'm down one pound and my measurement is the same. so much for that.

it's been killing me all day 'cause i basically had to strip down to male mode.... by physical appearances anyway. I gotta find a way to change this body...

Surgery went reasonably well he cleared the blockage and that kidney. unfortunately he wasn't able to find the marble sized stone in the other kidney. he said it must be stuck in the meat of the kidney. it hasn't 'caused me any issues so oh well. I thought it did today though. just made it home and ended up on the floor in agonizing pain. Which I thought was the stone. after going to emergency the doctor said it was the stint the surgeon put in. it doesn't come out till Monday. I really hope the next three days aren't like today. if they are i'm going to kill myself... not seriously but it's been so brutal i could die.

Anyway, I'm exhausted so I'm off to bed. i hope you are all well. 

[Rachel_Christina]

Oh yes the kiddney stones, that sounds horrible the pain, can't believe he couldn't find it :/
Hopefully you don't have anymore of that pain!
funny you girls are sleeping and Im heading back in to the last half of the day, I think I have to work Saturday and Sunday, probably just half days though :/ nothing is sure!