Forgot to say there are no gender therapists here, someone suggested seeing one but there are no gender therapists in my area, and no LGBT groups in general. I live in a country where LGBT people are pretty much invisible, and my area is one of the worst of the country.
Quoteyou might aks at a lgbt center, plannedparenthood or PFLAG for counseling and a referral ...
I don't live in the USA, so we don't have those organizations.
QuoteI'd say your sister is in denial. She's probably hoping that if she doesn't talk about it you will forget and go onto your next thing.
If you haven't started transition yet it makes it easier for people to pretend that you're not serious and ignore the whole thing. It's at the stage of transition, especially when it becomes very physically evident that the attitude changes - usually but not always to anger.
If that's the case then she's hypocritical. She can't say she knows it's a natural thing and that I should do whatever makes me happy and then secretly hope I will suddenly stop thinking about it. It'd mean either lying or being hypocritical. I used to think it was possible to just stop thinking about it, but it made everything worse and now I got increased anxiety and depression because of this.
I tried to make it clear that I can't transition because of our parents (I still live with them) and she seems to know it. She even seemed to implicitly suggest waiting until I'm financially independent.
I don't understand why people wouldn't think I'm serious, especially seeing how I've never done anything a woman does. It's not like I had feminine gender expression and all and then came out of the closet all of a sudden. This is why I'm surprised people don't figure it out earlier. I guess trans men are invisible and some people don't even know we exist so they'd never think I'm one.
Sitting down with my entire family and talking about it would be impossible. It'd be way too stressful to me and might give me serious mental health issues. I already have mental issues, I'm very vulnerable when it comes to stuff like this.
QuoteI think it's hard for siblings because they're so used to having a sister/brother; that they don't know how to deal with having a sibling of the opposite gender. Even if they've never acted as they're assigned gender. I've always acted like a brother instead of a sister and always been very masculine;
Same here. I don't understand how my parents could feel like losing a daughter or siblings a sister, cause I've never acted like those things. And it's not because I "wanted to act masculine"...that's just what has always come
natural to me. It's just the way I am.
QuoteI'm guessing she was quite looking forward to having a sister to do girly things with; but things didn't work out that way.
I have another sister, so she can do girly things with her. They used to dress me as a girl when I was a small child, but later it stopped cause I made it clear that it wasn't what I wanted. It irritates me when they use it as a way to tell me "oh look you used to be a girl". No. Never been. At that age, it's the family that chooses stuff for the child, from haircuts to clothes. When I started to become aware, I immediately told them to stop.
QuoteLeave it a few weeks for it to sink in, and then remind them again that you'd rather not be referred to as female, and that you're serious about it, you realise they're not trying to make you uncomfortable, but that they are. That's all you really can do at this stage
What worries me is that I can't get myself to do it, at least not yet....I don't know why. If I was transitioning then I'd be more willing to talk about it but right now I feel like she wouldn't take me seriously if I told her to stop referring to me as female. I fear she'd be hostile or ridiculize me.
I kinda feel weak. I feel like I can't get myself to do anything because I'm too scared and mentally ill. It makes my self-esteem crumble.
