Getting sick of my family now

[jaybutterfly]

Ok, so I had a hair cut into a bob, and when I get home my mum explodes at me that I'm 'not allowed' to present female and that Im just going to cause problems for myself. According to her I need to 'comprimise' so I dont make trouble. By comprimise I mean

- I cannot wear make up or girl clothes at home
- I cannot have my hair in a 'girly' style, even a short style, without being constantly bitched at
- I am consistantly told I need to look more boyish

I keep hearing comments like

- You are who you are but you need to conform
- You need to stop thinking about being trans so it doesnt upset you
- You need to stop trying to find a look you like and just be as you are


Im getting ****ing sick of this. Im being told by my brother I need to stop listening to my own thoughts because Im hormonally imbalanced and cant think straight clearly.

I feel like ->-bleeped-<- right now. Comprimise means both parties trying to find even ground, Im supposed to just bottle up my dysphoria and feel ->-bleeped-<- so they can all be ok and Ive had enough

[Satinjoy]

I go through similar stuff but its not with parents.

How old are you?

Some of the comments are just dumb.  Some, ehh.  I make my kids uncomfortable so I tone it down.  I cant wear makeup or earRings at home.

But i can wear other stuff.  I found what works.

And i go out full out sh'e.

But that frustration i totally know.  Big time.

SJ.

[BlonT]

Nobody say life is easy ! specially not around family.
You do however need to obey in a way to the house rules.
Almost nobody can do as we please , compromises are needed from both sides.
Keep looking for nice/fun things,and not forget your future.

[RobynD]

Fortunately you will not always live under their governance. When we do we have to lovingly do our best not to offend them while we develop our own identity and yeah sometimes they make it hard. Still, you do have to push back some both for your own interests and because it is morally wrong for them to hold those sort of views.

Our son has a massive head of "hippy" like hair and my wife would prefer he cut it and conform more to more traditional modes for young men. This is the same wife who accepts her spouses transition, go figure. I don't mind his hair at all and he is of the age where he needs to be making those decisions for himself.

Don't listen to your brother. He would not call conformity a hormone imbalance, either is non-comformity.

[Satinjoy]

Nobody say life is easy ! specially not around family.
You do however need to obey in a way to the house rules.
Almost nobody can do as we please , compromises are needed from both sides.
Keep looking for nice/fun things,and not forget your future.

Needed to hear that myself today.  But didnt want to...

Thx

[stephaniec]

I'd be cautious if I were a parent. As a alienated youth and and a follower of the Hippie movement in the 60's one of the fastest ways to be ignored by me would be to critisize my long hair.

[Satinjoy]

Yup.