Are sex/lust and love the same to you?

[KarlMars]

After awhile of thinking I was asexual after being in a bad marriage I've discovered as I've gotten older that I think sex itself (the physical act) IS love even if it's unattached. I had someone tell me it wasn't when I was 17 but as I got older I've seen that may only have been true for some people. There's a stigma on people who think lust and sexual attraction are love I'm not naturally an affectionate person and don't hug or cuddle. I'm not very romantic but I've decided for me sex IS love. I've never been polyamorous, but am considering having several friends with benefits. When my sex drive temporarily dies like it did before I become robotic.

[FTMax]

For me they aren't the same. I'm very capable of love. Lust, not so much.

[Megan.]

Two very different things for me. I could have one without the other, but would in reality only want them both together or none at all.

[Amanda_Combs]

I think it's somewhat different and unique for everyone.  For me personally, Love and sexual attraction are very much the same, and that's why I've only ever been attracted to my wife.  I don't know if it has anything to do with my gender, but I spent years never getting worked up about girls; then all of a sudden I meet the one And I want her intensely and permanently.

[Lady Sarah]

I almost never experience lust. However, to me, sex is something that is an assistant to love. It is something that may not be terribly important, but important enough that my hubby is talking to his doctor about boner pills.

[Deborah]

To me they are entirely distinct.  While they often exist in relation to each other they can exist independently.  Lust is a physical sensation.  Love is a metaphysical state of feeling.

Maybe that confuses things some but to me love exists at the spiritual level.

[KarlMars]

For me they aren't the same. I'm very capable of love. Lust, not so much.

This doesn't mean I'm not capable of higher degrees/different kinds of love. I go back in forth between this and asexual.

[KarlMars]

I think it's somewhat different and unique for everyone.  For me personally, Love and sexual attraction are very much the same, and that's why I've only ever been attracted to my wife.  I don't know if it has anything to do with my gender, but I spent years never getting worked up about girls; then all of a sudden I meet the one And I want her intensely and permanently.

It sounds like you're demisexual- having to have an emotional attachment before sexual.

[Elis]

Maybe you're on the aromantic side. For me love is a deep emotional connection; whether that's an 'I'm crazy about you' or 'I want to spend all my time with you'; in love or not. While lust is a feeling that you must have sex with someone. I'm currently in a friends with benefits situation with my ex and while I still feel a somewhat emotional connection with her still; not love like it used to be; I don't feel a sexual attraction to her anymore even though I still find her attractive. I feel some sort of need to have sex with her but I think it's just because I enjoy her company. I'm demisexual so i dont know.

[KarlMars]

To me they are entirely distinct.  While they often exist in relation to each other they can exist independently.  Lust is a physical sensation.  Love is a metaphysical state of feeling.

Maybe that confuses things some but to me love exists at the spiritual level.

It exists at a spiritual and physical level with me at the same time. I feel love as a fleeting thought when I have sex with someone and then want to get to know them and keep them as a friend if they're not doing anything abusive. Sex is like a prelude to a friendship with me.

[KarlMars]

Maybe you're on the aromantic side. For me love is a deep emotional connection; whether that's an 'I'm crazy about you' or 'I want to spend all my time with you'; in love or not. While lust is a feeling that you must have sex with someone. I'm currently in a friends with benefits situation with my ex and while I still feel a somewhat emotional connection with her still; not love like it used to be; I don't feel a sexual attraction to her anymore even though I still find her attractive. I feel some sort of need to have sex with her but I think it's just because I enjoy her company. I'm demisexual so i dont know.

I experience sexual attraction and that doesn't quite fit the asexual definition either, but what I mean by that is times where I have no libido at all. When I have libido its distinctly only for people with certain physical characteristics and an aesthetic attraction to the point where I want to have them around to hang out with as a friend and not just a sex object so I can admire them visually.

[Lady Sarah]

It exists at a spiritual and physical level with me at the same time. I feel love as a fleeting thought when I have sex with someone and then want to get to know them and keep them as a friend if they're not doing anything abusive. Sex is like a prelude to a friendship with me.

That is interesting. I have seen whereas a great many men have no desire to be placed in the "friend zone" by any female. This is especially the case, when they want to have sex with said female.

[Kylo]

No. Sex can exist without love and love can exist without sex. They aren't mutually exclusive, but in my case there's no way I'd bother having sex with someone I did not 'love'. I just don't like sex enough to do it for its own sake.

[KathyLauren]

They are two very different things for me.  My wife is at the age now where she has little interest in sex.  And me, being a one-woman kind of girl, that makes me asexual these days.  Yet I still love her dearly.

[KarlMars]

That is interesting. I have seen whereas a great many men have no desire to be placed in the "friend zone" by any female. This is especially the case, when they want to have sex with said female.

I'm only into men if it matters. I think my preference comes from the fact that I like space and not commitment at least at this point in my life.

[Beth Andrea]

I don't know if they are, but when I considered the question and the meanings of the words, I found that my concept of "love" is heavily influenced by my religious upbringing.

Taking care to not be influenced by that, I'd say that there is a difference:

One can express their love with sexual acts, but not express sexual acts with love. Also, sex (and its excess-lust) tends to be short-lived, whereas love tends to be more long-term.

I'm sure there's more to be said, but that's all the time I have right now...