This is more venting than anything else. I posted about her awhile back when she first broke up with me and thought I was ok but alas, here I am.
My ex gf is now engaged to a cis dude and it makes me feel horrible about myself. Quick (kind of ) Timeline:
I transitioned a little over 2 years ago.
March 2015: I met a lady via online dating. We went out and hit it off immediately. She accepted me and had dated transguys before. She also had worked as a therapist in an LGBTQ center so she was a friend of the community. This was my first gf as a man.
We got very serious very fast. I met her mom. She talked about a future with me. She said and did things that made it seem as though she was in to me and the relationship and that we had something special. She even attended a fertility conference for work and made sure to inquire about in-vitro with a trans partner. I was head over heels and took her for her word.
End of May 2015: Out of the blue with no warning after spending a weekend together and her acting just fine all week she dumped me. "I don't have that giddy feeling anymore." I was heart broken. She was suddenly cold and detached after all of that talk.
June-July 2015: she eventually said she gets a gross feeling towards a guy sometimes and she doesn't know why, that it's really "->-bleeped-<-ty" and wasn't the first time it happened. Then she admitted that she wasn't totally over the last guy she dated (apparently she very much downplayed the seriousness of that relationship, it ended only about a month or so before our first date). She also said we had something different and that she hopes we find each other again one day.
August 2015: We get back together to chat and end up having sex, twice. She says she can't separate her feelings as much as she'd like to think she can so we decide to see how it goes when she comes back from seeing her family back where she's from (down south). A week and a half later she tells me she's been seeing her ex, she's going to move back home for hjm, she no longer has feelings for me and I am not for her. When I asked her about us having something different and finding each other again she responded, "things change and that was before this person came into my life." This is an ex she never mentioned. THIS IS NOT THE GUY SHE WAS WITH BEFORE ME. So different dude.
May 2016: Her bf moves up here for her.
July 2016: They are engaged.
The entire year I've been depressed and now I'm even worse. I was ateast running on autopilot until I found out. I've del my Facebook because I cannot handle the ease with which info can be found.
This guy is cis. It's lasted almost a year. It's as if she completely forgot about me and all of things she said to me. She's living the life with him I thought she wanted with me. I'm devastated and cannot seem to move on. I know it's partly because she was my first gf as a man and I've found it very hard to date since her. I feel like nothing compared to him. I feel like she sees him as better than me. I will never know if she lied to me the whole time. She dumped me moved on and attached to him so fast.
*Sigh*
