I, the most dreaded word

[DawnOday]

I've been an introvert as well as being Transgender so I have a tendency to say"I" a lot and make everything about me. Thank you all for your patience as I work trough my struggles. Lord, I use "I" so much I'm beginning to sound like Donald Trump.  But here is my story and I'm sticking to it. Does anybody else recognize themselves from this article. I have read many comments that suggest it is a problem amongst us. I showed the article to my wife and she now has insight on how my mind works. I can't remember a thing short term, but five or six weeks later when I should have just gotten over it, the answer pops into my head. Introverts are always thinking and more often than not what they should be thinking about. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/20/introverts-signs-am-i-introverted_n_3721431.html

[alex82]

Yes, I understand.

This is really cheesy, but there is a book I love called 'Please understand me II' - I've never read 'Please understand me I'.

It goes through the sixteen types, and much more detail about Apollonian and Dionysian characteristics and things. It's really good, pop psychology but brilliant.

I am an INFP but score less on the I than on the NFP part. Those latter three are really deep characteristics. The introversion extroversion scale is something that's a bit blurred depending on mood, and I can see exactly why the tendency to I rather than E is slightly in front. Had I been born female, I think it'd be undoubtedly E-NFP.

[LizK]

I've been an introvert as well as being Transgender so I have a tendency to say"I" a lot and make everything about me. Thank you all for your patience as I work trough my struggles. Lord, I use "I" so much I'm beginning to sound like Donald Trump.  But here is my story and I'm sticking to it. Does anybody else recognize themselves from this article. I have read many comments that suggest it is a problem amongst us. I showed the article to my wife and she now has insight on how my mind works. I can't remember a thing short term, but five or six weeks later when I should have just gotten over it, the answer pops into my head. Introverts are always thinking and more often than not what they should be thinking about. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/20/introverts-signs-am-i-introverted_n_3721431.html

I recognised many of the traits they talk about but have never considered myself introverted....very interesting....I can relate to just about every single point with the exception of maybe 1 or 2 max.

Food for thought

Thanks for sharing that

Liz

[Deborah]

Yeah, I'm a big time introvert and recognize all those traits.  I'm an INFP also and find those descriptions very accurate.

One thing though, I don't find any of this to be a problem.  Sometimes it's much better to be able to happily lose yourself in your own mind without having to resort to external stimulation all the time.

[SiobhánF]

Introvert from the day I was born, I suppose. As for the 16 personalities, I'm an INTJ. I totally get where you're coming from, though. I'm married to an extrovert. I hate social interaction and I have few real friends. I like to spend more time thinking about things than doing them, even if I have the feeling that something must be done, which just means that I follow the Einstein way of problem solving; spending more time coming up with solutions and then implementing the most efficient and practical option. If I had an hour to save the world, I'd spend 59 minutes defining and putting the problem in order and 1 minute to put it into action. I do the same with transitioning. I started working on things that I have within my control while I research everything else so that I know what I'm going to do before the time comes. Embrace that "I" part of yourself. it makes you the awesome person you are.

[V M]

I tend to avoid using "I" and will often just leave it out of sentences, but I definitely match most of the descriptive traits listed and have been often referred to as an introvert most of my life

So yeah, I can totally relate to it being on the most dreaded word list 

Hugs

[KathyLauren]

* am strongly introverted and recognize most of those traits in myself.  * don't remember my Myers-Briggs type, though obviously the first letter is "I".  * don't think * use the word "*" excessively, do *?   

[alex82]

Yeah, I'm a big time introvert and recognize all those traits.  I'm an INFP also and find those descriptions very accurate.

One thing though, I don't find any of this to be a problem.  Sometimes it's much better to be able to happily lose yourself in your own mind without having to resort to external stimulation all the time.

Another one!

I agree it's no flaw and nothing to be worked on. Every type has a strength to bring to the table.

For very close friendships and relationships though, I need an xNFx. That's not even something I was ever aware that I sought, but the closest ones, that work best, are pretty much all are NF and then usually P too.

[Dayta]

Yet another INFP here.  Not sure about whether my use of the "I" word is excessive, but I do often find myself editing messages, especially personal ones, that seem to have a few too many of them starting sentences. 

Many of those qualities in the article apply (screen all of your calls? YES!), but several couldn't be more wrong for me.  Regarding partners, I'm married to an INFJ, and think being with an extrovert would be a total disaster for me.  Also, I have a really bad habit of small talk with baristas, cashiers, etc., probably because of the relative safety of engaging in conversations with people that have no connection to me.  It's much, much harder for me to engage colleagues or friends, people with whom I have real relationships. 

L

[Steph Eigen]

Somewhere between INTP and INTJ, more toward INTJ here.  I confirmed introvert and not apologetic for it, nor should you be. Rejoice in who you are, embrace the introversion.  In many ways, it is at the root of many of the problems and daily torture I experience because of the tendency to look within rather than project outwardly.  I recall it was Socrates who said something to the effect of "an unexamined life is not worth living."

[Jacqueline]

Yup. 22 of 23. Usually INTJ sometimes INTP

Thanks for sharing the article.

Warmly,

Joanna

[Sena]

Most of it if not all applies to me to.
pretty intresting artical thnx for sharing it.

[Steph Eigen]

To the point of item number one in the article, theres not much small talk on this forum.  Interesting TED lecture by Kalina Silverman I recently viewed about the isolating effects of small talk:

[JoanneB]

Something tells me "The Donald" is anything but an Introvert.

As far as the "I" thing goes I don't get it. No really. There are countless articles, even books written for sales, for self help, to.... about "Conversation". They all agree in that the absolute best way to get a conversation going is to ask the other person about.....? No, not the weather. Ask them about Themselves, or some aspect you picked up on. In other words, get them to use the word "I" because most people (most, not me) like to talk about themselves. It's a subject they are both knowledgeable and fond of.

Sure there are also plenty of etiquette books that admonish you for using "I". Then there are the grammer books with starting sentences and especially paragraphs off with "I". Most times it is impossible to avoid using. Now, EVERYTHING being about You, that is a far different thing. Other people also like everything being about them 

I don't know if I'm truly an introvert or not. It is about as clear cut as the whole male-female thing going for me. I didn't do a lot of talking as a kid because I couldn't. I had a bad stutter. Especially under any sort of stress. This led to a lack of people skills. People skills that later need to hone in order to survive being a chameleon, trying to be a guy around various types of guys.

There is this veneer that is the outgoing, smiling, want to get along, "Salesperson" me that will skew results. Deep down inside being an introvert is safe. Being close to other people just opens you up to being deeply hurt by them.

[DawnOday]

You all are amazing. Thank you very much.

[Deborah]

Deep down inside being an introvert is safe. Being close to other people just opens you up to being deeply hurt by them.

This is pretty insightful.  I am quite sure that I am an introvert, but despite that, I don't have any problems making friends when I want to.  However, I have never held on to them and resist getting close for any length of time.  My own amateur self psychoanalysis tells me this is because always maintaining the expected facade is hard and ultimately mind numbingly boring. And more to the point I fear feeling the outright condemnation and abhorrence that I got from my parents when I was 13 the first time my secret was out.

[SadieBlake]

Here's what Meyers and Briggs have to say about I/E in:
http://www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-personality-type/mbti-basics/extraversion-or-introversion.htm

"Extraversion and Introversion as terms used by C. G. Jung explain different attitudes people use to direct their energy. These words have a meaning in psychology that is different from the way they are used in everyday language." [shyness vs outgoing personality]

I'm more or less INTP by definition as I'm decidedly aspergian on the ASD spectrum. Around the same time I was addressing being feminine I changed pretty substantially in that I'm now T/F about equally -- it took a lot of work.

[Steph Eigen]

My daughter is an ESTJ, son ISTP, wife ESFJ.  I'm some where between INTP and INTJ. 

The ESFx archetypes can be very frustrating but entertaining to the INTx.  Opposites, I guess, attract but make this TG stuff harder to deal with in that relationship.