Well, life goes on. Insanely busy, but holding it together.
I've been working on several projects, from graphics for branding a fundraising event, to production work for an amateur radio license test session for about 100 people. This keeps me hopping, of course.
Being so busy would normally be a good thing for me, if only to keep me distracted. I don't handle idle alone time all that well, or at least I didn't months ago. I haven't had any in a while. I'm trying to wrap up a zillion loose ends and ongoing projects now before surgery. Once I'm in recovery from my surgery I'll be writing articles like crazy, for publications and the wiki here. That's the plan, anyway.
I've got the passport now, and at least one friend is interested in traveling with me on an overseas vacation. Just a vacation! I'm waiting to hear back from my medical provider on FFS timing to see if I'll be able to get it, with that Medicare age arriving in a bit over a year and the changes in coverage. If I can't get it here I'll be looking into more overseas travel as well as a few providers in the US.
I've even got a social life! I'll be filling in for a local trans social group leader in hosting an event Saturday, and have been invited to another event Sunday.
I've even had interesting developments in my personal life that I'm trying to process. A dear friend had a heart-to-heart with me, after a couple weeks where I didn't hear from her, and it turns out that this person had feelings for me which were confusing and disturbing her. She was quite conflicted until she saw my gender identity presentation and realized some things about herself, and the different types of attraction between individuals. I think we've resolved everything and will remain very good friends, after a very awkward conversation. My therapist thought I had done OK in handling this, but... wow. Definitely unexpected.
On the down side, I was attending a luncheon event Thursday when another attendee approached me while I was enjoying an amazing chocolate cake with my coffee. She had also seen my gender presentation, and had questions. Very persistent questions.
"Are you gay?" Well, I am a lesbian. "No, i mean..." No, I am not a failed gay man who couldn't come out and is trying to trick men. I am attracted to women.
"Just like a real woman..." Dear, I AM a real woman. I just had to take a rather circuitous route to get here. Who we are lives in the brain, not a few ounces of soft tissue between our legs.
I just wanted to enjoy a wonderful chocolate cake and my coffee, not do another personalized presentation demanding that I Bare My Soul To Them. But, here I am, trying to explain fetal development and epigenetic effects to someone demanding answers. I tried, I really did, but they couldn't be troubled to listen and walked away.
If someone wants to talk to me, I'd rather talk about cooking, great coffee places, urban trekking, the best day trips locally, goofy stuff in the news. Anything but "justify your existence to me in 30 seconds."
If you insist on demanding to know the most intimate details of my life experience, please remember that I Do NOT Owe You An Explanation, and if I do tell you something, do me the courtesy of at least listening, actually listening, to all of it rather than walking away.
Way to harsh my mellow.
I vented on the phone with another friend, who helped me process this garbage. I'll get over it. Mostly, it points out to me how much work I still need to do with myself to develop the confidence to set hard limits and push back on these people. Consider it a growth opportunity.
Great reply for "You look just like a real woman."; "So do you, dear." ...meow...
Meanwhile, I've got to get a few more things together for hosting that event tomorrow, and quite a bit for my surgery next month. I'm afraid I won't be around here all that much, but there are immediate demands on my life that are important for me to address.