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An update on me...

Started by Michelle_P, October 15, 2016, 09:19:13 PM

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0 Members and 13 Guests are viewing this topic.

LizK

Hi Michelle

I think you have a classic horrible example of Tolerance v acceptance. Acceptance would not care if you were trans or not...IMHO I think its a cultural thing and it representative of a bigger cultural problem in the US and is not necessarily about gender on its own.

This is what forces people to uproot their lives and go stealth...there is no reason for these people to see anything but a woman in front if them and its seems like a classic case of bigotry.

Take care

Liz


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Transition Begun 25 September 2015
HRT since 17 May 2016,
Fulltime from 8 March 2017,
GCS 4 December 2018
Voice Surgery 01 February 2019
  •  

Linde

I came out to a very good friend of mine, she is in her mid 70's.  She felt sorry for em and wondered if I get the right medications to overcome this terrible disease!  She said that I am such a manly man, and the right medication should help me to get back to that!
I tried to explain, but it did not sink in !  She feels sorry that I caught this really bad disease!
02/22/2019 bi-lateral orchiectomy






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Faith

Quote from: LizK on November 09, 2018, 01:22:09 PM
Hi Michelle

I think you have a classic horrible example of Tolerance v acceptance. Acceptance would not care if you were trans or not...IMHO I think its a cultural thing and it representative of a bigger cultural problem in the US and is not necessarily about gender on its own.

This is what forces people to uproot their lives and go stealth...there is no reason for these people to see anything but a woman in front if them and its seems like a classic case of bigotry.

Take care

Liz


I'm more inclined to the 'learned behavior' problem. It can be overcome but requires constant attention and reminders. Like breaking a bad habit. I would not throw them all on the bigotry side of the equation.
I left the door open, only a few came through. such is my life.

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Nicole70

#1563
Edit, sorry I just posted to the wrong thread, good thing is I caught it before I posted this reply to the other thread, gosh where is my brain lately?

Michelle,

You are looking wonderful in your latest photos, you seem to be healing really well. I can't imagine anyone misgendering you at all. I'm sorry that you have experienced misgendering from your recent encounters, I don't have a theory other than people don't think and don't realise how it affects us and how rude it is.

Hugs,

Nicole
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Laurie

Well, I don't care how you appear, I will love you for who you are.
April 13, 2019 switched to estradiol valerate
December 20, 2018    Referral sent to OHSU Dr Dugi  for vaginoplasty consult
December 10, 2018    Second Letter VA Psychiatric Practical nurse
November 15, 2018    First letter from VA therapist
May 11, 2018 I am Laurie Jeanette Wickwire
May   3, 2018 Submitted name change forms
Aug 26, 2017 another increase in estradiol
Jun  26, 2017 Last day in male attire That's full time I guess
May 20, 2017 doubled estradiol
May 18, 2017 started electrolysis
Dec   4, 2016 Started estradiol and spironolactone



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Northern Star Girl

Quote from: Laurie on November 09, 2018, 09:57:32 PM
Well, I don't care how you appear, I will love you for who you are.

@Michelle_P
Dear Michelle
..... heya @Laurie .. that is such a wonderful and sweet thing to say to Michelle,  

... and Michelle, don't listen to those that want to mis-gender you...
and don't listen to that critical critic that lives inside you....

We are your biggest fans and we think you are beautiful inside and out.

Hugs and hugs,  [emoji173]
Danielle 
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Michelle_P

Quote from: Laurie on November 09, 2018, 09:57:32 PM
Well, I don't care how you appear, I will love you for who you are.

Thank you!  I try to be my best for you, but I know I won't always be able to.  (Like that week right after FFS!  Whoa!)

Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on November 09, 2018, 10:24:16 PM
@Michelle_P
Dear Michelle
..... heya @Laurie .. that is such a wonderful and sweet thing to say to Michelle,  

... and Michelle, don't listen to those that want to mis-gender you...
and don't listen to that critical critic that lives inside you....

We are your biggest fans and we think you are beautiful inside and out.

Hugs and hugs,  [emoji173]
Danielle 

Awww... , thank you! 

Quote from: Nicole70 on November 09, 2018, 08:00:28 PM
You are looking wonderful in your latest photos, you seem to be healing really well. I can't imagine anyone misgendering you at all. I'm sorry that you have experienced misgendering from your recent encounters, I don't have a theory other than people don't think and don't realise how it affects us and how rude it is.

Hugs,

Nicole

I suspect this is a lack of education, combined with the old "Whatever you do, do not think of elephants!" phenomena.  The folks at this place know I am transgender, and worry about offending to the point that they accidentally 'think of elephants' and misgender me.

There is no malice, just a lack of education and experience.  I've even been misgendered while teaching classes on gender identity!  I was misgendered by people apologizing for the misgendering the night before at that event!   All without malice, and all of whom were instantly contrite and embarrassed when they realized what they had done.

The healing from FFS is going very well.  I still have numbness on the crown and left forehead, the tip of the nose and a narrow strip from lower lip to chin.  The nose and chin numbness is associated with slowly receding swelling.  In a year I expect to be pretty much back to normal except for loss of sensation right around the incisions.  That seems to be pretty typical.
Earth my body, water my blood, air my breath and fire my spirit.

My personal transition path included medical changes.  The path others take may require no medical intervention, or different care.  We each find our own path. I provide these dates for the curious.
Electrolysis - Hours in The Chair: 238 (8.5 were preparing for GCS, five clearings); On estradiol patch June 2016; Full-time Oct 22, 2016; GCS Oct 20, 2017; FFS Aug 28, 2018; Stage 2 labiaplasty revision and BA Feb 26, 2019
Michelle's personal blog and biography
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Rayna



Quote from: Michelle_P on November 10, 2018, 03:28:32 PM
...I suspect this is a lack of education, combined with the old "Whatever you do, do not think of elephants!" phenomena.  The folks at this place know I am transgender, and worry about offending to the point that they accidentally 'think of elephants' and misgender me.

There is no malice, just a lack of education and experience.  I've even been misgendered while teaching classes on gender identity!  I was misgendered by people apologizing for the misgendering the night before at that event!   All without malice, and all of whom were instantly contrite and embarrassed when they realized what they had done.
Over time people will grow accustomed to your identity and will naturally gender you properly. At least most will. I hope it doesn't take too long.

I've met you in person and I never had any hesitation, doubt or struggle to see you as a woman, even before your ffs. You are convincing.

I think the "elephant" is the best explanation.


Sent from my Victor 9000 using Tapatalk

If so, then why not?
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Michelle_P

Quote from: RandyL on November 10, 2018, 03:52:16 PM
Over time people will grow accustomed to your identity and will naturally gender you properly. At least most will. I hope it doesn't take too long.

I've met you in person and I never had any hesitation, doubt or struggle to see you as a woman, even before your ffs. You are convincing.

I think the "elephant" is the best explanation.

Thank you, Randy!  And yes, the misgendering is confined to just this group of older folks who do know I am transgender.  "Elephant" indeed!
Earth my body, water my blood, air my breath and fire my spirit.

My personal transition path included medical changes.  The path others take may require no medical intervention, or different care.  We each find our own path. I provide these dates for the curious.
Electrolysis - Hours in The Chair: 238 (8.5 were preparing for GCS, five clearings); On estradiol patch June 2016; Full-time Oct 22, 2016; GCS Oct 20, 2017; FFS Aug 28, 2018; Stage 2 labiaplasty revision and BA Feb 26, 2019
Michelle's personal blog and biography
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Linde

Quote from: Michelle_P on November 10, 2018, 04:05:22 PM
Thank you, Randy!  And yes, the misgendering is confined to just this group of older folks who do know I am transgender.  "Elephant" indeed!
I am going female most of the time now.  Most people still misgender me! I think this is partly because my hair is still pretty short (I hate to wear my wig), and I can't keep my voice from slipping into low frequencies, which is a learned behavior, because my natural voice is in the low female range.  Another reason is that my breasts are not large enough to clearly gender me.  I have a hard time to find a bra that would fit me and can be added.

So, here I stand, that short haired semi flat chested person with a deep voice.  It really does not bother me much when I am miss gendered currently, because I know that my hair and my boobs will grow, and my voice can be trained!
I assume that everything will be different in a years time!
02/22/2019 bi-lateral orchiectomy






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Jessica

Michelle, I want to say how much I enjoyed having lunch with you yesterday.  So many things have been on my mind since visiting Laurie.  From the administrations actions against transgender folk to personal matters, I have needed a listening ear and you helped me.
Maybe I'll see you before my surgery, but I will miss seeing you on your birthday, you will be having a better time with you know who.

Hugs and smiles from another California girl

"If you go out looking for friends, you are going to find they are very scarce.  If you go out to be a friend, you'll find them everywhere."


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Michelle_P

On the flip side...  I did my Worship Associate thing on Sunday, pushing along the technical stuff to get through two tightly scheduled services.  Ran me into the ground some ways.  I missed my lunch, and then had to head into a congregational meeting.

And then things got interesting...

There is a good-sized lesbian community present, but they are a little standoffish, compared to most of the women there.  However, I suddenly seemed to be noticed.  Two of the women were complementing me on the service and my little speaking bits.  Another sat down next to me in an almost empty row and actually conversed with me.  Family, where did I grow up, etc!

I seem to have somehow turned into 135 lbs of lesbian bait...  Wierd!  I would love to know what sort of conversations about me have been going on elsewhere.


Lesbian bait????  Errrrr...
Earth my body, water my blood, air my breath and fire my spirit.

My personal transition path included medical changes.  The path others take may require no medical intervention, or different care.  We each find our own path. I provide these dates for the curious.
Electrolysis - Hours in The Chair: 238 (8.5 were preparing for GCS, five clearings); On estradiol patch June 2016; Full-time Oct 22, 2016; GCS Oct 20, 2017; FFS Aug 28, 2018; Stage 2 labiaplasty revision and BA Feb 26, 2019
Michelle's personal blog and biography
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Linde

Quote from: Michelle_P on November 12, 2018, 08:55:59 PM


I seem to have somehow turned into 135 lbs of lesbian bait...  Wierd!  I would love to know what sort of conversations about me have been going on elsewhere.


Lesbian bait????  Errrrr...

I like that, and for the case they reject you, you could dangle me in front of their jaws? Please? 
02/22/2019 bi-lateral orchiectomy






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LizK

Quote from: Michelle_P on November 12, 2018, 08:55:59 PM
On the flip side...  I did my Worship Associate thing on Sunday, pushing along the technical stuff to get through two tightly scheduled services.  Ran me into the ground some ways.  I missed my lunch, and then had to head into a congregational meeting.

And then things got interesting...

There is a good-sized lesbian community present, but they are a little standoffish, compared to most of the women there.  However, I suddenly seemed to be noticed.  Two of the women were complementing me on the service and my little speaking bits.  Another sat down next to me in an almost empty row and actually conversed with me.  Family, where did I grow up, etc!

I seem to have somehow turned into 135 lbs of lesbian bait...  Wierd!  I would love to know what sort of conversations about me have been going on elsewhere.


Lesbian bait????  Errrrr...

Slightly unexpected turn of events...But lesbian bait??....I would think you might have your hands full with the woman you currently see. LOL [emoji13]

Take care
Liz


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Transition Begun 25 September 2015
HRT since 17 May 2016,
Fulltime from 8 March 2017,
GCS 4 December 2018
Voice Surgery 01 February 2019
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Michelle_P

Quote from: LizK on November 12, 2018, 09:39:00 PM
Slightly unexpected turn of events...But lesbian bait??....I would think you might have your hands full with the woman you currently see. LOL [emoji13]

Take care
Liz

Oh, I do, I do!

And there is no way that I will forget the studied aloofness, the 'invisibility' I had with them, the occasional catty crack ("You look just like a real woman!"), and suddenly fall for that Carhartt and Columbia vest look.  ::)
Earth my body, water my blood, air my breath and fire my spirit.

My personal transition path included medical changes.  The path others take may require no medical intervention, or different care.  We each find our own path. I provide these dates for the curious.
Electrolysis - Hours in The Chair: 238 (8.5 were preparing for GCS, five clearings); On estradiol patch June 2016; Full-time Oct 22, 2016; GCS Oct 20, 2017; FFS Aug 28, 2018; Stage 2 labiaplasty revision and BA Feb 26, 2019
Michelle's personal blog and biography
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Kendra

Get used to it.  ;)   As you're making all this progress with your voice, demeanor, permanent hair removal, HRT's cumulative effects, surgeries... now that your body and mind matches waaay better than before, your world really did just change that much. 
Assigned male at birth 1963.  Decided I wanted to be a girl in 1971.  Laser 2014-16, electrolysis 2015-17, HRT 7/2017, GCS 1/2018, VFS 3/2018, FFS 5/2018, Labiaplasty & BA 7/2018. 
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Jessica

Quote from: Michelle_P on November 12, 2018, 09:55:22 PM
Oh, I do, I do!

And there is no way that I will forget the studied aloofness, the 'invisibility' I had with them, the occasional catty crack ("You look just like a real woman!"), and suddenly fall for that Carhartt and Columbia vest look.  ::)

I see this as just one more step towards your social acceptance not being questioned.  Maybe the words behind your back now are compliments.  You have done a wonderful job at showing that transgender women are people that are good citizens, care for the community and deserve respect.   
You are and have been a woman your whole life and catching up to yourself is within sight.

Hugs, Jess

"If you go out looking for friends, you are going to find they are very scarce.  If you go out to be a friend, you'll find them everywhere."


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Donica

Quote from: Michelle_P on November 12, 2018, 08:55:59 PM
On the flip side...  I did my Worship Associate thing on Sunday, pushing along the technical stuff to get through two tightly scheduled services.  Ran me into the ground some ways.  I missed my lunch, and then had to head into a congregational meeting.

And then things got interesting...

There is a good-sized lesbian community present, but they are a little standoffish, compared to most of the women there.  However, I suddenly seemed to be noticed.  Two of the women were complementing me on the service and my little speaking bits.  Another sat down next to me in an almost empty row and actually conversed with me.  Family, where did I grow up, etc!

I seem to have somehow turned into 135 lbs of lesbian bait...  Wierd!  I would love to know what sort of conversations about me have been going on elsewhere.


Lesbian bait????  Errrrr...

Hmmmm, I don't think I'm lesbian? I do love that outfit Michelle.
Rebirth 06/09/2017. HRT 08/22/2017. RLE 07/14/2018. Name and Gender change 10/19/2018. FFS 09/06/2019. GCS 05/26/2021.
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Michelle_P

Yet another medically interesting day...

I did my 1 year (OK, 13 month) followup on my Gender Confirmation Surgery (GCS) with the reconstructive surgeon.  Everything looks properly healed up.  I then asked about revisions to remove some irritation and discomfort, and improve the appearance.

He suggested three changes: pulling the upper parts of the labia together to partially cover the clitoris; a small revision to improve definition of the labia; and an adjustment to the posterior commisure to open the floor of the vaginal opening slightly, removing a source of discomfort on dilation or penetration.

OK, that sounds like it will address the irritation and discomfort issues. 

He then asked about breast augmentation (BA), which I had not expected.  I mentioned that I had seen another surgeon about that, but no dates had been scheduled. The surgeon explained that he could easily do the revision and BA during the same surgery, which would save me a pass of general anesthesia and some recovery time.  The procedures would likely not even require an overnight stay.

He went over a few details, and then had a nurse bring in their 'sizing tray' of implants.  I tried on a number of sizes, and for what I would like I think that 275-325 cc implants would be about right. I'm smallish, 5'7", 135 lbs, 34" band size.  These didn't look 'topheavy'.

With all of this recorded, the surgeon sent in his scheduler.  I now have a date for BA and the labiaplasty revision, March 22, 2019.  Wow!

I had to celebrate in my own odd way, so I went out for a late breakfast at The Grove on Fillmore for their French Toast and coffee, taking Laurie along in the phone...   Yum!  After breakfast I walked several miles, my thing, and wound up in North Beach.  Lunch was coffee and pannacotta at Stella's.   ;D  I eventually did come home. 

Interesting medical outcome that I hadn't expected, but definitely appreciate, and a fun walk to stretch afterward.
Earth my body, water my blood, air my breath and fire my spirit.

My personal transition path included medical changes.  The path others take may require no medical intervention, or different care.  We each find our own path. I provide these dates for the curious.
Electrolysis - Hours in The Chair: 238 (8.5 were preparing for GCS, five clearings); On estradiol patch June 2016; Full-time Oct 22, 2016; GCS Oct 20, 2017; FFS Aug 28, 2018; Stage 2 labiaplasty revision and BA Feb 26, 2019
Michelle's personal blog and biography
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Jessica

To quote an Alaskan....Wowie Wow!
Great news Michelle, I'm sorry I wasn't able to share the day.  Now I wish I had cancelled my ⚡️ appointment, I nearly did...

Big hug, Jess

"If you go out looking for friends, you are going to find they are very scarce.  If you go out to be a friend, you'll find them everywhere."


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