I went two years HRT without transitioning to full time RLE... then abandoned the lot. Stopped HRT, threw away my clothes, cut my hair, went into denial for another twenty years. At the time I had a lot of fear about whether I would be accepted if I came out to family and work and then tried to live full time as a woman, I also thought I would struggle financially.
Beyond "I'll do HRT for two years and then go full-time" I had no game plan for RLE/social transition and when it came to the crunch I pressed 'abort' instead. I had believed I would just drift into RLE/FT social transition; problem was, I felt more fear the more that moment seemed likely to materialise. I kept thinking I'd know when I was ready, but I wasn't confident enough in myself for that to ever really happen and I just kept creating more and more conditions I felt I needed to pass/achieve before I'd be ready. On reflection I think I needed to acknowledge I could do it and say "this is where I jump in"...
Aborting my transition was the right thing to do at the time, I just needed to really get clear about what I wanted. Of course, that ended up taking me twenty years. This time I was much more emotionally prepared and in a better financial situation, plus I knew what I wanted... pass or not, I wanted to live as a woman, be seen as a woman and accepted as a woman and there was only one way that was ever going to happen... full time transition. I expected I'd do HRT for a year, but then I realised I was ready for full time at nine months and jumped in... that included dealing with my previous 'stumbling blocks' - telling my family and my colleagues/work. It was mega scary at the time, and outing myself to my family hasn't been without its drawbacks...but the payoff was that I am now doing what I really wanted to do, living how I wanted to as the person I wanted to be...and I was loving it from DAY 1.
So I guess what I'm trying to say is... be on HRT as long as you need to be, go full time when you feel the moment is right but try to avoid not having a plan for that moment. If you think you're not ready "because this" or "because that" then you may never feel you are ready and you potentially risk depriving yourself of the opportunity to break through and jump in and be who you want to be.
