"Hetro-Normativity"
There, I said it, lol...
So, yeah, here I am, highly hetero-normative, on a trans support site. I will try to remember that compared to most here, I am traveling backward. My 'trans' experience was imposed on me from the outside in. Doctors made me 'trans', and with my parents' consent and encouragement, they mutilated my female body, and crushed my feminine spirit, and stole my birthright to bear my own children. For me, 'trans-ness' was a nightmare. I was an unwilling FTM transsexual. For trans-people, 'trans' is who they are, and something many celebrate, while yet others frame it as a disorder to also be corrected. There are several key issues at play here, and my needs run contrary to the majority of trans folk, regardless of how they frame their condition. Soo, of course I get my feelings hurt in such populations, and of course my assertions rankle and trigger negative reactions from those that were born trans, regardless of how they frame their circumstances. If I may be so bold as to speak as if I understand anybody other than myself, to those trans people that frame trans-ness as something that occurs naturally and as something that should be celebrated as biological diversity, my repugnance at my own 'trans' history seems insulting. To those that frame their trans-ness as being a disorder that requires 'curing', my easy de-transition from 'male' to female seems desirable, and they cannot fathom why I am not celebrating my success in becoming the woman I should have always been. For me, my womanhood was stolen, denied, and worse. Becoming who I was biologically ordained to be genetically, was too little, too late in my mind, at times, though not so much now that I have attained so much of that which I had lost before. So, there is little I can say about my journey that reflects the experience of a biologically male, female-brained transitioner, no matter how she frames her experience. I will try to remember this fact, so as to not offend your sensibilities, but please, bear with me, my own perspective is also legitimate.
Now, onto the intersex issue.
Again, intersex people tend to frame their experience in one of two ways. One group sees their intersex status as being part of the natural biodiversity of humankind. And, for some, it is. But, my IS status was not part of the spectrum of human biodiversity, it was imposed on my body through exposure to Diethylstilbestrol while in utero. My mother was prescribed this carcinogenic synthetic super-estrogen as a miscarriage preventative. I am a DES Daughter. My inter-sexuality was inflicted on me, and I want that fact to disappear. It is unnatural. It is a nightmare from which there is no awakening.
The second way IS people tend to frame their status, is as a disorder that may, or may not, require medical intervention to 'fix'. My parents and doctors saw my situation like that, and upon seeing my large clitoris, they decided 'fixing' me was the way to go. That was the wrong answer, lol. I would have been just fine with my anatomy as it was when I was born, and I could have lived a normal life, had kids, grandkids, etc. Yes, the risk for clear-celled carcinoma would have been present, and my descendants for at least three generations would have been vulnerable to the possibility of having odd sex organs, etc., such as "T" shaped uteri, but we would all have had normal lives.
So, yes, my direction down the transition highway is the reverse of most transitioners, I am running toward the very same hetero-normalcy that has disabused the entire LGBT population is some way, shape, or form. I get it. I want to be that which you can either perhaps never be, nor likely wish to be, nor likely think that anybody should especially promote. So many LGBT-ers have been, and continue to be, traumatized by hetero society. I get that. I feel your pain. But though they are often horrid to you, these are my people. I will try to remember this, and be more sensitive to your point of view, and likewise, please, realize that not all hetero-normals are haters. I am certainly not a hater.
Whewww, that was a hard one. Gonna need more coffee, lol. Back later...
