Can't find my clit!

[AlexisB]

Day 10 post op and I can't find my clitoris. I'm not saying it's hypo sensitive or hyper, literally just can't find it. But that is partly because I'm afraid to touch down there in case I hurt myself

[AlexisB]

Advice and help please

[Sandy]

Alexis:

First off, don't panic.  Just relax.

If you are only ten days post-op, then you are probably still very swollen and the tissues have covered your clitoris.

You can probe "down there" and simply let pain be your guide.  If it hurts, stop.  Really.

Remember your clit was constructed from the paired down head of your penis and covered with other tissue to provide a clitoral sheath.  If you really want to see if it is there, start at the top of your vulva and gently push the tissues apart.  Push in at the very top and move your finger down.  You should feel a lump just above where your urethra is.  That should be your clit.  Push the tissues of the lump aside and just inside should be your newly minted  clitoris.  Rubbing it gently should give you some sensations.  They might even be pleasurable.  But this soon after your operation, maybe not.

Again, let pain be your guide.  And if you are gentle you will do no damage to yourself.

Relax, you'll be fine.

BTW: It took me a couple of weeks before I could find mine and my surgeon, Dr. McGinn had to help me find it.  She pointed it out to me since she was the one who put it there. 

-Sandy

[AlexisB]

Omg really? Thankyou! This is all I wanted a but of Adive on the manner so Thankyou need to know what I'm doing kinda before I go down there lol

[Sandy]

Alexis:

You'll be fine, hon.  It may take as long as a couple of months before you have complete sensations down there and be able to orgasm through clitoral stimulation.  But also now, as you heal, you have a vagina that can also provide satisfaction.  *OMG can it!*

It will take time because your dilation right now is to expand the depth of your vagina and push the tissues in place to help reduce the swelling.  So your early dilations will be painful.  That is normal, and the pain should not be severe.  Keep on the dilation schedule your surgeon recommends, even if it difficult.  You may see a bit of blood too as you dilate, but it should be minor.

Welcome to your new life!

-Sandy

[AlexisB]

Thankyou so much!

One last question; if I was able to irgasm right here right now would it be 'bad' or 'dangerous'?

[MissGendered]

Yeah, hun, relax!

I was numb down there and still very, very swollen ten days post-op, it was about three weeks before I dared even take a closer look, I was horribly bruised and discolored, so yeah, I didn't want that picture in my head at all..

Dr. Brassard tells his patients to start gently exploring the clitoris area with a finger after 30 days, which seemed just about right, though my stitches were still not fully dissolved by then. I have to admit I was already touching it before then, I am a bit of a tart, lol, and I just had to know if it was gonna work, ha ha! I almost had an O that way, but I couldn't get it to happen, and frustratingly, it did take until the 6th month for me to have a big clitoral orgasm.

It takes time to heal and rewire and remap after surgery, sweetie, hang on, it will get better!!

Missy

[MissGendered]

Thankyou so much!

One last question; if I was able to irgasm right here right now would it be 'bad' or 'dangerous'?

I had my first internal orgasm on Day 11 while dilating with the littlest dilator, I wasn't trying, it just happened, and yeah, I clenched down on the little blue dude, and it felt amazing, but it did make me sore afterwards...

I don't know if it was bad or dangerous, it was spontaneous, and VERY welcome, lol. I had been without release for ages, and I felt soo much better knowing I was able to have sexual pleasure again..

Hope this helps..

Missy

[AlexisB]

Omg really I don't feel so alone now lol! When you had an o from dilating did you move it around? Push in and out?

[MissGendered]

Omg really I don't feel so alone now lol! When you had an o from dilating did you move it around? Push in and out?

Mmhmm, very slowly, though, because I was super tight and sore, but yeah, I was definitely imagining it was a penis inside me, lol. But I was very careful, I could still feel the stitches inside me, and like I say, I was super tight inside. It was a LOT of work for me to get worked up to Big Orange, and even then, after months and months, I would still start with little boy blue, ha!

I am so happy for you, hun, such a great new world, huh? Yay!!!

:-) Missy

[tgirlamg]

Hi Alexis!...  First, Congrats!!!

All will be well after the numbness and swelling settle down...I had my first orgasm 4 weeks to the day after surgery ( it was huge too!!! ) !!!!! Many girls I know take longer... Up to a few months but all will be well

I was kind of tapping on the area a bit to kind of ... Wake things up ...and things went from there... The first several times took a lot of effort ..I think due to residual numbness but soon it became just as easy to get there as it was with my old anatomy.... Happy explorations sister!!!

Onward we go!!!

Ashley

[MissGendered]

I was kind of tapping on the area a bit to kind of ... Wake things up ...and things went from there...

OMG, hmm, yeah, I think maybe I am overdue for my 'dilation' myself, ha ha ha!

Silly girls, aren't we? lol..

Back in a while, and yes, onward I shall also go, mmhmmm...

Tapping, you say, huh? ;-)

Missy

[Sandy]

OMG, hmm, yeah, I think maybe I am overdue for my 'dilation' myself, ha ha ha!

Silly girls, aren't we? lol..

Back in a while, and yes, onward I shall also go, mmhmmm...

Tapping, you say, huh? ;-)

Missy

So will you go and come, or come and go?     

And yes, the "tap dance" works!

Alexis:

WHEN you have your first clitoral orgasm, you will not hurt yourself or do any damage.  The physiological reaction of an orgasm is muscle contractions (yeah, even for girls).  These are very normal, even when you are early post-op.  But don't worry if you don't.  You will.  It will just take time and patience.

-Sandy

[Sophia Sage]

The first couple of weeks after SRS, everything was so numb it was pretty difficult to know what I was feeling and where.  But I think it's good to start exploring as soon as possible, to start building up internal maps of your new topography.  (Do be sure you've washed your hands first!)  We can't be afraid, and there's a lot of lost time to make up.

Anyways, as Missy says, you kind of have to start slow and gentle -- this is still a vulnerable surgical site at 10 days post-op, and there's only so much we can do given the soreness that resides therein. 

I had my first orgasm post-SRS at the 3-week mark, after several days of trying.  It was clitoral, and very very weak; it felt more like a ruined orgasm than anything else, but it was a start, and it only took another week for the intensity to build up to nearly full-strength.  I would stimulate myself clitorally (actually, a spot just north of my clit, a lovely nerve that's pretty much my go-to spot even today, as direct stimulation of my clit usually results in getting desensitized) while dilating -- and actually, after getting up to the largest dilator I could take, I'd switch back to the smallest and with extra lube because then it'd be relatively easy to slip it in and out in the motion of intercourse. All while playing with my clit and enjoying my favorite erotica.  This made dilation itself much more fun.

I think this also helped me to advance to the larger dilators ahead of schedule, with Dr Meltzer's blessing. The "in and out" motion, I believe, helps to facilitate the breaking down of scar tissue, and by the 6-week mark I wasn't really sore anymore.

I started having sex just a little past the 10-week mark, a couple weeks early by Meltzer's schedule, but everything went fine (but oh was I sore the next morning).  Didn't orgasm then -- it was only with my third lover, who I ended up in relationship with for over six years, that I finally came with someone else, which isn't uncommon for women, as we usually need a bit more emotional intimacy and (perhaps more importantly) someone who's become familiar with our bodies and how we respond to their ministrations.  It was about a month into this relationship that I finally had a vaginal orgasm, after already having had multiple clitoral ones earlier in our "session" thanks to his lovely and generous mouth. 

Anyways, everyone's different.  Your body will respond as your body does -- so pay attention to it.  Let your body tell you when it's ready. 

[MissGendered]

So will you go and come, or come and go?     
And yes, the "tap dance" works!

Omg, I will never grow tired of this, o-m-g...

Money sooo well spent, woah!!

Even had a nice little dreamy nap after, ha ha, and I only made it up to the green machine, I guess I was overdue for some fun. I had quit using my dilator set over a year ago, in favor of toys, but now I am trying to open up more real estate inside, cuz I likes me some big boys, lol. The curved-up tips really do plow new territory, I like that feeling. After I was post-op I read a lot of the other surgeons dilation info, and I think it was Supporn's site, but I might be wrong, that talked about micro-tears and how that was the way to create more tissue for vaginal expansion after the surgical scars had healed completely. He mentioned rotating the dilators and working them against the inside walls like a butter churn, lol. I find this works really well, and helps to not only relax the tissues outside the vagina, but to stretch the vaginal lining as well. Not yet for you, Alexis, but after the surgical scars are all healed up.

I like to think of my vajajay as the best investment I ever made, so I wanna keep making improvements and take the time to care for it as well as to enjoy and celebrate it, too.

We post-ops are a VERY lucky population, we now have what we lacked, now lack what we didn't want, and can appreciate both facts each and every day of our lives going forward. I never hated my old part, perhaps because mine was actually a clitoris, but I did hate that it made me look like a dude, and made people relate to me that way, too. But, I loooove my vajajay, she is my new, and best bestie, ever!

Mmmm. Yep. We are some VERY lucky girls!!!

((HUGS))

Missy

[Sandy]

Omg, I will never grow tired of this, o-m-g...


We post-ops are a VERY lucky population, we now have what we lacked, now lack what we didn't want, and can appreciate both facts each and every day of our lives going forward. I never hated my old part, perhaps because mine was actually a clitoris, but I did hate that it made me look like a dude, and made people relate to me that way, too. But, I loooove my vajajay, she is my new, and best bestie, ever!

Mmmm. Yep. We are some VERY lucky girls!!!

((HUGS))

Missy

Yes!!!!

[KayXo]

After browsing through several pictures of clits in ciswomen and comparing it to mine, it seems my clit doesn't look quite the same. Also, when I rub it while masturbating, I honestly feel nothing. Kinda disappointing, considering how much thicker my inner labia is compared to the vast majority of women, as well So far, I've only had vaginal orgasms. My sweet spot is the area just under the urethra.

My surgery was in 2005 but my general feeling is that there is still room for improvement. Up close, one can tell my vulva is not quite right and is not exactly what one would expect in a ciswoman.

My opinion and I don't think I'm being picky but simply realistic. Perhaps my expectations were too high to begin with and there is so much doctors can do but...who knows? Maybe years from now, things will be even better. I hope so, for the generations to come.

[Dena]

After browsing through several pictures of clits in ciswomen and comparing it to mine, it seems my clit doesn't look quite the same. Also, when I rub it while masturbating, I honestly feel nothing. Kinda disappointing, considering how much thicker my inner labia is compared to the vast majority of women, as well So far, I've only had vaginal orgasms. My sweet spot is the area just under the urethra.

Two possibilities come to mind. You may not be in an excited state of mind when you are masturbating and like a CIS woman, it will not work until you are. The other possibility is your testosterone levels may be non existence instead of the feminine range as the result of your high estrogen levels. Some women use commercially available low dose testosterone patches to up their sex drive and performance.

[MissGendered]

Also, when I rub it while masturbating, I honestly feel nothing. Kinda disappointing, considering how much thicker my inner labia is compared to the vast majority of women, as well So far, I've only had vaginal orgasms. My sweet spot is the area just under the urethra.

Hun, does you clit become engorged when you are playing with it?

Sorry, that sounds kinda rude, ummm, do you get 'ladywood'?

Missy

[KayXo]

You may not be in an excited state of mind when you are masturbating and like a CIS woman, it will not work until you are.

It's exactly in those moments, when I am aroused, that I touched my clitoris BUT I will admit that recently, when I do this, I do it in a more thoughtful manner, in order to find out if rubbing it does anything so that the planned nature of it suppresses the excitability of it all. In general though, I was never able to orgasm just by touching my clitoris unless I'm on the verge of having one and then switch to just rubbing my clitoris. In all fairness, I do recall several times where while masturbating, I played with my clitoris all the while inserting my fingers inside my vagina and that this occurred naturally so that instinctively, I "knew" this felt good and my clitoris does indeed provide some form of pleasure and is an erogenous zone.

The other possibility is your testosterone levels may be non existence instead of the feminine range as the result of your high estrogen levels.

As I am post-op, the only way in which testosterone is further suppressed by estrogen is through an increase in SHBG caused by estrogen, causing a drop in free testosterone. Total testosterone is not affected by estrogen.

Looking at my numbers, 11 yrs ago, in 2006, the year after my SRS, my total T was 27 ng/dl, more on the low side as the female range can go as high as 90. Now, my total T is at 8 ng/dl, so a significant decrease over 11 years. It is not non-existent but at the bottom of the range, almost below.

Free T in 2006 and now is even lower and either just below the normal range (2006) or undetectable (present).

Hence, I think lowering estrogen would do very little as my total T is already very low. Indeed, it could be that if my T was higher, my clitoris would be more sensitive and I do recall touching it more often in the days when my total T, post-op, was higher. This is an option I'm looking into (i.e. testosterone cream) but I will say this...my libido, in general, appears to be doing quite well, thank you very much LOL. I sometimes have orgasms while I'm dreaming without even touching myself, I will regularly seek activities with the intent of getting aroused and my orgasms are intense, very pleasurable and very wet. Perhaps, as far as the clit goes, a little more T would do the trick. You could be right. I also read that T makes nipples more sensitive and more arousable so why not the clitoris?!

Hun, does you clit become engorged when you are playing with it?

Sorry, that sounds kinda rude, ummm, do you get 'ladywood'?

Not rude in the least bit. I don't easily get offended. Yes, I do get engorged to the point where it's very painful and I feel like my entire vulva is going to explode. It becomes very swollen from the inside. It's not my clit that gets engorged but rather the whole area underneath the mons pubis, probably because of the remaining erectile tissue that was left there by the surgeon.

Thanks girls for your feedback.