Transgendered? Or Homosexual?

[lady amarant]

when you talked so someone you love about a transsexual friend, they are all like 'well you have to do what you have to do to be you' your heart jumps for joy, when they find out thier girlfriend has a penis... different story...
One of the many reasons why when post op, nobody else hears the word 'transsexual' again from my lips.
R

sadly true, in most cases. Most people find to their shock that they're a lot more bigoted and unaccepting than they thought when confronted by it.

Wow, we actually agreed on something!   

I still hold out hope for that one person who loves and accepts me rather than just my anatomy - unlikely as hell, I know, but I need to hope for that.

[Rachael]

i know ill find someone... i have no problems attracting men, its sinking my hook thats the problem!
R

[lady amarant]

i know ill find someone... i have no problems attracting men, its sinking my hook thats the problem!
R

Here's to the hope that one of them will turn out to be the real thing and know that true love sees past the physical and connects with the being inside.

[Luc]

Boy, is this thread depressing! If I can find someone to love, I can imagine just about anyone can! However, if you go about things with the assumption that you'll never be happy, it will likely become a self-fulfilling prophecy... and I suppose if unhappiness is what you desire, you'l ultimately get what you asked for.

You know, I always thought I was a straight man. Growing up female, though, it was tough to figure that one out. So when I met a beautiful woman who just so happened to have a penis, I thought, well, I love her, so what does it matter? We've been married over a year, and though there are struggles, we couldn't be happier with each other. There are people out there who don't care what's in your pants; but if you shut yourself off from the possibility of happiness, most likely you won't recognize them even if they find you.

I don't think transsexuality is a sentence to lifelong unhappiness. I don't believe it for a minute. Everyone has the right to be happy, to be in love...

[fluffy jorgen]

in this life... transgendered.
i have no desire towards women whatsoever.

finding someone who accepts me girlfriend/boyfriend-wise?
not into commited relationships (yet?), so i wouldn't know. not looking towards that experience a lot.

i hate how shallow and narrowminded the society is around us.
just because they can't figure someone out, they give up. at least give it a go, work on it.
i hope that made sense.

[Purple Pimp]

I don't think either category is necessarily better than the other; but I chose "trans", only because I like who I am and I wouldn't want to be different.  I often hear people say, "If I could choose, I'd rather be *insert unstigmatized category here* than *insert stigmatized category here*.  But if we could be different, then by definition, we'd be different people.  Personally, I think the discrimination and the difficulty I've encountered, belonging to a stigmatized group, have made me a better person and better empathizer than those who never experience such things.

Lia

[SarahFaceDoom]

Can I choose ambivalent?  I don't see how either of the choices is better or worse than the other.  Which is part of the silliness of the whole ENDA kerbapple.  While we may not all be the same, the civil rights protection we need is similar.  And I prefer working with people to working apart from them.

I also think a lot of people maybe overpersonlized the topic, which wasn't, as I read it, intended to be done that way.  It's more asking which is the harder lifestyle transgender or gay, and would you rather live the harder lifestyle.  I don't think your own orientation right now really plays into it that much.

[Ms Bev]

Okay.....you didn't give me enough choices, so.......I chose homosexual. 
Why?  Easy.  I'm lesbian, always have been, tho born into a male body.  I would have been just as happy being gg lesbian, except my whole life would be trashed.  I wouldn't have Marcy, or my kids, or grandkids.  But that's what would have been had I been born gg.

Bev

[SarahFaceDoom]

I think it's cheating on the question to say that yes you would be homosexual because that would supposedly mean that you were still born the same gender as you are now.  To me that feels like answering, "why yes I WOULD like to have my cake and eat it to!"

What if the question is this:
MTF---Would you rather be a gay man or transgendered?
FTM----Would you rather be a lesbian woman or transgendered?

The question is basically, if you were born again, with everything the same, same hair, same genetalia, same parents, la la la same same same, except you could either be transgender or homosexual, which would you choose?

And I think the emphasis on the question is more, which type of life is easier vs. harder?

This question is of course doubly hard to answer, if you are already homosexual in addition to being transgender.

I can't really pick, because when I think about the expierence of one, it matches the experience of the other.  Which only underscores to me why LGBT has to continue to include T.

[debbie.j]

right now its hard for me to vote on this but i did  was to adress this . for me when i look at this poll and

read this question . it just is a hard thing to answer the way it is  now. as if i was to vote i could  only

vote transgenered. but then again  if i voted they way i feel . which is female  then  yes i would be

homosexual no questions ask at all . but thats not the case . and it just hard to aswer this and give the

answer that i feel good with  . it is surely a double 22 here no questiion ask . so its just to hard for me to

anwer this as  the poll question is ask now

[Ms Bev]

I think it's cheating on the question to say that yes you would be homosexual because that would supposedly mean that you were still born the same gender as you are now.

The question is basically, if you were born again, with everything the same, same hair, same genetalia, same parents, la la la same same same, except you could either be transgender or homosexual, which would you choose?

You know, I didn't CHOOSE to be female-brained.  I was born that way, just as I was born with a sexual orientation toward females.  My brain is female, my orientation is lesbian.

Now, just read an article in a national paper that says we choose to be homosexual, and you might be at the front line of the rebuttal, saying that orientation is not a choice.  I picked homosexual from a list of only 2 possibilities. I didn't choose it when I was born, nor did I choose my gender.  This is just a dumb exercise in impossible logic.

Bev

[SarahFaceDoom]

I think it's cheating on the question to say that yes you would be homosexual because that would supposedly mean that you were still born the same gender as you are now.

The question is basically, if you were born again, with everything the same, same hair, same genetalia, same parents, la la la same same same, except you could either be transgender or homosexual, which would you choose?

You know, I didn't CHOOSE to be female-brained.  I was born that way, just as I was born with a sexual orientation toward females.  My brain is female, my orientation is lesbian.

Right.  It's not my question.  I'm saying that by the intent of the original question, saying that you would chose to be female bodied and minded, and lesbian is a tad tangly, since it doesn't per se mean that you think a homosexual life is easier or harder. 

Since you are both lesbian and female brained, all you saying that you'd rather be born a non-trans lesbian is saying is that you wish you had been born in a body that matched your original female mind.  Which really isn't what the question was asking.

It's great that you'd like to have saved money on hormones and surgery by being born in a body that fits your mind, but I mean...duh.  If that wasn't the case you wouldn't be here on this board.

It is a dumb exercise though, that I agree with.  Though I think it does have some utility in terms of hopefully getting some to consider how much we actually do have in common with LGB.  Unfortunately, I think most of that utility has been tossed out in favor of fantastically easy answers which aren't really challenging anyone that much.  But whatever.  It's not my thread.

[jessi73]

trans.  I think my life has been hard, but very rewarding.  Wouldn't want to change it.



JESSI

[soldierjane]

GG

[deniz]

oh the same... i WANT to love, i WANT to open up to people, but after telling my family my darkest secret, those who are meant to love you nomatter what, my blood, abandoned me.... I dated a guy for 3 months, we were going to have sex, i came out to him, he dumped me and i never saw him again. Oh im Happy with my life, but im damaged goods as far as love goes. heh, atleast before i couldnt love, now i desperately need to, but wont let myself.
R

The story of my life:( will you tell others since you will have grs?? please do tell.

[soldierjane]

oh the same... i WANT to love, i WANT to open up to people, but after telling my family my darkest secret, those who are meant to love you nomatter what, my blood, abandoned me.... I dated a guy for 3 months, we were going to have sex, i came out to him, he dumped me and i never saw him again. Oh im Happy with my life, but im damaged goods as far as love goes. heh, atleast before i couldnt love, now i desperately need to, but wont let myself.
R

The story of my life:( will you tell others since you will have grs?? please do tell.

People can be very obtuse; sometimes all they need is time to accept and build a relationship with the "new" you. This is especially true with family relations.
As for that guy... he wasn't the right one, sail on to warmer waters

[drkprincess]

For some people all the time in the world dosnt matter. I have known people like this and I have been there Rachael. It seems like love is just a cruel joke. I have been disowned by family, pushed aside by friends... and even had people that claim to care about me walk off. Over the past few years I have found myself looking for love, its something that has evaded me my whole life. Frankly its something I am really starting to give up on. Its real hard not to and just keep going sometimes.

~Rachel~

[Rachael]

when i have grs....

SOD telling people. Im having that normal life that was stolen from my grasp cheers.
R >

[tekla]

when they find out thier girlfriend has a penis... different story

As well it should be.  Look, if you want to play, I'm all for play.  I do want to know what playground I'm in to begin with, it tends to make a difference.

And its not sexuality, not morality, its mechanics. 

I do so love to go down on girls, I've done boys too, I have liked that on occasion, but its not like doing girls.  To lie to me is to deprive me of my favorite sexual activity.  Had I known to begin with, I might well have gone ahead and played, but I hate being lied to.

[drkprincess]

I don't think I would care, true love would prevail for me... if there is such a thing. I guess I am a little more understanding to the feelings behind it and why it was hidden. I cant say I wouldn't do the same. Being out front with it doesn't always work either.

~Rachel~