The thing about our past is that it is done. We ARE what we are today, and what matters is what path we choose moving forward. My childhood was just nasty, unpleasant, and generally reduced me to a hot mess. I can't change that. I can be a better person now.
Finding a good social support network, family or friends that accept you as a human being, is really important. Yes, you are a transgender person, but you are first and foremost a human being. Being transgender is just one aspect of our existence, and there is so much more.
Honestly, while I will talk about being trans when asked, I don't like it. It makes me feel uncomfortable, and singled out as though that is all that matters. When this happens with family or friends, or in social settings, push back. Don't let that one topic dominate. We are human beings, living the human experience, and that has the potential to be so much more than this one aspect of ourselves.
We need to live that full human experience, as well. If we spend all of our time just Being Trans, we do ourselves a disservice. We need to find other outlets to express ourselves, other activities in our lives.
I can cook. I can wash dishes like nobody's business! I give tech talks. I go for daily walks, and play with other peoples puppies in the dog park. I may sit in a coffee shop and just people watch for an hour. I meet friends for lunch (today!). I go out to dinner, meet ups, and plays (tonight!). I go to church with Unitarian Universalists, practically a built-in social life with all the activities and new friends! I just live my life.
Oh, there are little bits here and there that remind me I am trans. Getting dressed first thing in the morning, or putting on makeup in a way that alters my features. My fixation on turtlenecks and scarves... I try not to let the trans-ness dominate, though.
