Hormones as a test

[Just Mandy]

a true transsexual will feel natural and happy under the effects of female hormones, anyone else will feel wrong and will stop their apparent cross-gender behavior as male hormone function ceases

I picked this up off of www.looking-glass.greenend.org.uk/primer.htm and was wondering if
anyone had any personal experience with others that attempted HRT and then
realized they were not TS.

Has it been clinically proven that if you like the effects of HRT then you are TS? Or is it possible
that a true male could like the effects of HRT?

How long does it take to realize the affects of HRT and know if it's right for you or not?

Is it mostly emotional and cerebral changes that they are talking about or the physical changes that
go along with HRT?

Is it possible to stop  HRT (if you like it and are TS) to plan your transition better?

So many dumb questions!

[Kate]

I know of many people who want breasts, a curvy body, to supposedly "feel oh so femme," etc... but enjoy it from a male identity... who LOVE the effects of HRT.

I pretended to want to "do a trial of HRT" when I was first facing my transition. In my case, I knew, deep down, I'd never stop. But I used that excuse to lie to my wife (and myself) that it was "just to see." I just could not say the words, "I am going to transition." The implications were just so... terrifying.

But I knew.

~Kate~

[Enigma]

Has it been clinically proven that if you like the effects of HRT then you are TS? Or is it possible
that a true male could like the effects of HRT?

I don't know that there really is a way to "prove" someone is TS or not,  you really can't measure what's in someone's head.  Or is that not what you're asking?  As for a true male likeing HRT, I think Kate's got this one pretty well covered, I've also heard of some CDs, TVs, etc being prescribed a very low dose of estrogen along with an anti-depressant, for obvious reasons.  As for "true" males liking HRT, the boobs, hips, etc might be thrilling, but I'd assume losing sexual function wouldn't be the highlight of their day.

How long does it take to realize the affects of HRT and know if it's right for you or not?
Is it mostly emotional and cerebral changes that they are talking about or the physical changes that
go along with HRT?

Everyone's experience is different in how they respond to HRT.  Knowing if it's right for you? That hopefully should have been explored in therapy leading up to HRT.  With HRT, IMHO, its the total package both the emotional and physical changes that define whether its right or not.  Though I think what you're asking more relates to misguided CDs getting on HRT and stressing out when they have to take steps to conceal the physical changes to their bodies.  If it's just a weekend hobby, dealing with obvious breasts during the week is bound to be stressful.  Though more then one TS has had to take steps when her (since this is specifically MtF) body outpaced her timeline for transition.  So maybe that's not the best analogy.

Is it possible to stop  HRT (if you like it and are TS) to plan your transition better?

There are a number of us here who have (myself included).  Speaking from experience though, your transition should probably be in order before you start HRT.  To really be able to evaluate your feelings around HRT, it takes months to really get the full effect of the hormones, even then it still takes close to 2 years (or more) to fully respond to the effects of the hormones.  Its not realistic to think that a one week or even one month "trial" will serve as a reliable test.

[Wing Walker]

a true transsexual will feel natural and happy under the effects of female hormones, anyone else will feel wrong and will stop their apparent cross-gender behavior as male hormone function ceases

I picked this up off of www.looking-glass.greenend.org.uk/primer.htm and was wondering if
anyone had any personal experience with others that attempted HRT and then
realized they were not TS.

Has it been clinically proven that if you like the effects of HRT then you are TS? Or is it possible
that a true male could like the effects of HRT?

How long does it take to realize the affects of HRT and know if it's right for you or not?

Is it mostly emotional and cerebral changes that they are talking about or the physical changes that
go along with HRT?

Is it possible to stop  HRT (if you like it and are TS) to plan your transition better?

So many dumb questions!

Hi, Amanda,

There are no dumb questions in a body of knowledge that is being revised on a day-to-day, person-by-person basis.

I have a friend who was born intersexed.  When she was very young he had a phalloplasty performed on her so he could show her off as his son.

He put her on huge doses of testosterone and they caused her such pain that you wouldn't believe it.  Her muscles fought against her primary gender identity, female, and she was in awful pain, especially knowing all along that she was really born female and should have stayed female.

Many years went by and she started on HRT.  This woman had an hourglass figure to begin with so she was years ahead of most of us.  Her long, dark, wavy hair framed what had always been a feminine face.  Her chromosomal makeup was xxy.  I believe that is the marker for Kleinfelter's Syndrome.

When the surgeon began the GRS she found one complete ovary and a portion of a uterus within her.

Bottom line:  I believe that if a person is not getting the proper hormone for their body, mind, and emotions, there will be a rebellion within them.

Wing Walker
Saw It With My Own Eyes

[Enigma]

Bottom line:  I believe that if a person is not getting the proper hormone for their body, mind, and emotions, there will be a rebellion within them.

I think its more simplistic then that, for a non-TS, the "novelty" of the effects of HRT is bound to wear off sooner or later.  For the TS, its their body aligining with their mind.

[Kate]

I think its more simplistic then that, for a non-TS, the "novelty" of the effects of HRT is bound to wear off sooner or later.

I do know of people who identify as men who have "enjoyed" HRT for many years. They seem to see it as an extension of erotic crossdressing, and talk about how nice it is to "feel femme" (their words) and whatever when they do it.

The thing is, HRT kinda *forces* you to transition at some point. Or at least some people. I'm not sure if a non-TS really wants to bind his breasts every day, and be called "miss" by everyone - even when in "male mode."

On the other hand, I think it's VERY tempting to many crossdressers to have a body that properly fits the clothes. Some are apparently willing to deal with the unwanted side-effects to not only crossdress in women's clothes, but in a women's body as well, carrying the urge to the utmost extreme.

So personally, I don't think HRT is a very accurate diagnostic tool. Or at least I'd suggest that HATING it means you're not TS, but LOVING it doesn't prove much anything.

~Kate~

[Susan]

While it's part of the transition process it shouldn't be used as a means to figure out if you are a transsexual. The reason is that opposite sex hormones cause permanent sterility.

After a very short time on HRT you will not ever be able to have children again. This rules out using HRT first then deciding to go forward or not.

[daisybelle]

At 42 with one child and my wife just had a hysterectomy...... Sterility is not the issue. 

Any more kids and we plan to adopt

The arousal & libido is a major factor, but at this age any movement towards HRT is a good one.

Daisy

[Just Mandy]

Well.... sterility is not an issue and I've never been into crossdressing.

I guess everyone wants to know for sure they are TS before they take
the plunge. Some of you are more certain than I am I guess about
what they have always felt. I have a strong  feeling that I've had since
8 or 9 that things are not right with my body.

But the last couple of years has been like a floodgate has opened and
I'm being driven toward it. It's so strange.

Deep down I think I know I'm TS, the real question is do I want to do
something about it and suffer the consequence's? And although I call
it "suffer the consequence's", it makes me very happy to think that I
could transition, that I could be the person I know I am inside.
And if hormones made things totally right in my world maybe that would
be the black and white answer I need.

Did anyone else have self-doubts about being TS or wanting to transition? If so how or
what allowed you to move forward? Did you just become so un-happy being in male mode?

[lisagurl]

See a therapist.

[HelenW]

My therapist treated my reaction to HRT as a confirmation of our diagnosis not as a tool for an initial diagnosis.

Turns out it was the best stuff I ever took!

hugs & smiles
Emelye

[shanetastic]

My therapist didn't believe in HRT

But I eventually broke her!

As for using hormones as a test, it's probably not the greatest of ideas.  I mean, the sterility issue is for sure a big thing, but also, you can explore the options with your therapist if they're good and hopefully decide on a decision that way.  I don't know very many people who have been on HRT for a "test" either, except maybe the do it yourself ones, but that's just a bad idea all together.

[Kate]

Did anyone else have self-doubts about being TS or wanting to transition? If so how or
what allowed you to move forward? Did you just become so un-happy being in male mode?

I never doubted needing to be a girl, but I did question:

1) Is TSism what it appears to be? Or is it really just some weird psychological problem?

2) Will transition really work? Or will I be the proverbial "man in a dress" for the rest of my life?

I NEVER thought transitioning would work for me (heck, come to think of it, I STILL don't believe it worked, lol). One of the first things I said to my therapist was, "It's not that I don't know if I want to transition - I do - but I don't know if I CAN transition. There's just no way I'll ever be anything but a feminized man to everyone." Even when I committed to transitioning, I STILL didn't believe it would work. I fully expected I'd end up a laughingstock, and would... well... just end it all when I did. I figured at least I'd die knowing I tried though.

That was my biggest doubt though... and in posting this I'm realizing it's STILL haunting me.

What allowed me to move forward? I think it was just realizing, in a direct and clear way, that I AM female... I literally, actually and in a very real way AM a girl. It's not AS IF, I'm not a boy who wants to be a girl, I'm not a guy who wants femininity... I AM FEMALE. And once you SEE that... not just intellectually as a cute theory, but I mean SEE it with a heartbreaking clarity... you really have no choice about what to do.

~Kate~

[tinkerbell]

Estrogen is a very potent medication.  It can cause pulmonary embolism, stroke, life-threatening blood clots, heart failure, liver toxicity, erectile dysfunction, sexual problems, infertility, etc.  Playing with estrogen is a big no-no.  Hence, estrogen therapy should always be supervised by a doctor and as Susan pointed out, it should not be used for self-diagnosis.  Talking to a gender therapist is your best approach IMO.

tink

[Keira]

While I won't promote self-medication
the health risk of bio-estradiol (not the synthetics molecules)
is very very low for most.

The reason for that is simple, 50% of the population
live under it without major difficulty 

Taking estrogen or not, doesn't depend on health risks,  but more on mental health risks.

[Joyce]

I sort of treated the hormones as a test, but, like Kate, I knew that I was going to transition.  I think the commitment to the hormones was a major part of my self-acceptance. 

That said, I was certainly open to the possibility that I'd really hate the feeling, and that such a pain would jolt me out of whatever delusion I might have been having -- but alas, no such pain, no such jolt.  Nothing but happiness at making progress.

Joyce

[Kate]

That said, I was certainly open to the possibility that I'd really hate the feeling, and that such a pain would jolt me out of whatever delusion I might have been having...

Discovering the beginning of breast buds jolted me. Up until then, this was all theory... it worked for OTHER people, but *I* would never change, nah...

Suddenly... omg... this is REAL. Real changes, which meant... I was REALLY transitioning.

I felt stunned for about 30 seconds... then the tears started... and for the first time in four decades, I actually felt HOPE...

~Kate~

[Valentina]

I don't quite understand one thing.  Why do peeps want to start mones and then want to do everything else they should have done before starting them like getting married or having children, complicating their lives even more?

[Kate]

I don't quite understand one thing.  Why do peeps want to start mones and then want to do everything else they should have done before starting them like getting married or having children, complicating their lives even more?

I'm not sure I understand the question?

I never wanted to be a father (avoided it) or husband (did do it). But I DO want to be a wife and mother. How am I "complicating my life" by pursuing that now that it's finally possible? I don't see those as complications, I see them as the fulfillment of my dreams.

~Kate~

[Valentina]

  that was a rhetoric question not aimed to anyone.  I'm not sure I'm following you Kate.  I'm talking based on my limited experience with peeps I know.  But to answer your question and referencing to those peeps I know.  They should concentrate on transitioning first & then when all is complete, worry about the rest.  Wanting to do all at once is a complication.