Here I go again :-(

[JeanetteLW]

With that in mind; when are we heading off for a make-over? Maybe the afternoon before dinner with a few girl friends?

Well I guess you are going to need to fill out that wardrobe of yours especially when you go for your make over...was that early next week you were going to do that 

Congrats
Hugz
Liz

Squeeee!  Makeover!  So, what will it be?   Ulta, Sephora, or MAC?    Sephora does a freebie with a $50 purchase, which is nothing makeup-wise.  Ulta will give you the works in a one-on-one tutorial for like $40 at the local shop. MAC likewise does tutorial makeovers.  Oh, and there are so many nice restaurants nearby!

Want me to call and book the appointment for you?   

  CINDY !!!!  Now see what you have gone and done?  Why do you do this to me? Did you go and recruit Michelle and Liz to gang up on me or just they jump on the band wagon of their own volition?

  I am not committing to this one for anytime soon. I am not quite ready for it IMHO. But it does sounds intriguing.  Maybe someday... Perhaps a day when I go out to the coast to visit Tessa, She is the only one I know here so far. She's been around awhile, is very active and knows the ropes.

  Liz and Michelle Thank you both for your encouragements, they do help. 
  Michelle that visit is in the realm of possibility someday. Thank you.

  Hugs,
    Jeanette
   

[davina61]

I know what you mean about missing getting dressed as my cousin came to visit late last night and  I dressed androgynously ,jeans and hoodie but still feminine clothes . No wig and breast forms and it doesn't feel right without them, will make up for it tonight!!!!!!! Come on girl where's you sense of adventure, you have to do the make over. 

[JeanetteLW]

I know what you mean about missing getting dressed as my cousin came to visit late last night and  I dressed androgynously ,jeans and hoodie but still feminine clothes . No wig and breast forms and it doesn't feel right without them, will make up for it tonight!!!!!!!

  It is a surprise, missing something you have only been able to do for a short time.  Go for it tonight Davina party on!!

Come on girl where's you sense of adventure, you have to do the make over. 

  Et tu Davina?   It's on my to do list with an open date. **sigh**

Hugs,
   Jeanette

[Cindy]

Well it sounds a great opportunity for Davina to join in having a makeover as well, if not in the same place at least in spirit!!

My first make over was with a Napolean Perdis franchise in the middle of a Mall and people walking past would watch. The result is my avatar pic, a few years old by now.  I still buy buy his products but I like MAC as well. 

Mmm does this mean we have to have several make overs to compare or we split up and try different products. So far we have Jeanette and Davina, Shy and KathyLauren are you joining? Who else?

<I thought I heard a strange shriek sound, rather like a scared mouse but I couldn't see one in my room>

[KathyLauren]

Mmm does this mean we have to have several make overs to compare or we split up and try different products. So far we have Jeanette and Davina, Shy and KathyLauren are you joining? Who else?

I intend to go for a makeover really soon.  My wife had one recently (while I was 'enjoying' a laser session) and recommended the lady to me.

Since I can't do it with Jeanette and the other ladies, we will have to do separate makeovers and compare results. 

[JeanetteLW]

Well it sounds a great opportunity for Davina to join in having a makeover as well, if not in the same place at least in spirit!!

Mmm does this mean we have to have several make overs to compare or we split up and try different products. So far we have Jeanette and Davina, Shy and KathyLauren are you joining? Who else?

<I thought I heard a strange shriek sound, rather like a scared mouse but I couldn't see one in my room>

EEEEEEEEEEKKKK!!!

Yes, it was me you heard, CIndy. You are such a trouble maker aren't you?  I could swear I mentioned something about not being ready for something like this yet. Heck, I haven't even been able to make it out the door during daylight hours dressed yet!  Have mercy!
  But I suspect you will continue to do what you do well Cindy.... Cajoling.  yup mI expect we'll see more of it until  the make overs happen.  At least I have company this time... they say misery loves company....

  Hugs,
   Jeanette

[JeanetteLW]

I intend to go for a makeover really soon.  My wife had one recently (while I was 'enjoying' a laser session) and recommended the lady to me.

Since I can't do it with Jeanette and the other ladies, we will have to do separate makeovers and compare results. 

  Somehow I knew you would take Cindy's side in this Kathy.  aaaaarrrg

Hugs,
   Jeanette

[Cindy]

EEEEEEEEEEKKKK!!!

Yes, it was me you heard, CIndy. You are such a trouble maker aren't you?  I could swear I mentioned something about not being ready for something like this yet. Heck, I haven't even been able to make it out the door during daylight hours dressed yet!  Have mercy!
  But I suspect you will continue to do what you do well Cindy.... Cajoling.  yup mI expect we'll see more of it until  the make overs happen.  At least I have company this time... they say misery loves company....

  Hugs,
   Jeanette




Oh dear! We had better work on that one as a priority!! 

[JeanetteLW]

EEEEEEEEEEKKKK!!!

Yes, it was me you heard, CIndy. You are such a trouble maker aren't you?  I could swear I mentioned something about not being ready for something like this yet. Heck, I haven't even been able to make it out the door during daylight hours dressed yet!  Have mercy!
  But I suspect you will continue to do what you do well Cindy.... Cajoling.  yup mI expect we'll see more of it until  the make overs happen.  At least I have company this time... they say misery loves company....

  Hugs,
   Jeanette




Oh dear! We had better work on that one as a priority!! 

OMG I'm in trouble....

[LizK]

Although Cindy was certainly the inspiration for me joining in the cajoling I pretty much did that at my own

Maybe I should start a Thread....I could call it "Jeanette's Makeover challenge"

Hmmm I could

Sorry that wasn't very nice of me...

Seriously though it might be fun to try and plan something for in the near future. I have done a Mac one awhile ago and bought an obscene amount of makeup...but it is easy to apply and looks great. Because it is such a good product it stays on well and a little goes a long way. I do have cheaper makeup but it rubs off or goes off quickly.

Doing a makeover with a group of Ladies where you have the whole salon to yourself sounds like heaps of fun... and a really safe way to do it.

Take care

Liz

[Janes Groove]

Well, my sister Karen knows.

This is awesome. Congratulations.

Also,

Makeover! Makeover! Makeover!
*******crowds are chanting*******
Makeover! Makeover! Makeover!

[JeanetteLW]

This is awesome. Congratulations.

Also,

Makeover! Makeover! Makeover!
*******crowds are chanting*******
Makeover! Makeover! Makeover!

LMAO you too Jane?

[Shy]

Ha, I had a makeover a few weeks after coming out but ended up looking like Jack Sparrow after a night on the rum!

It did feel life affirming to be pampered in a crowded shopping mall though, kind of a 'right of passage'. There was this one guy who was apparently buying makeup for his girlfriend who stood and watched the whole procedure. Yeh, busted.

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Shy

[JeanetteLW]

  Today I am in female attire including earrings and nail polish but sans wig and makeup. I've had a couple short girl talk sessions with my sister about different things like clothes, polish, earrings and makeup. Mostly discussing our differences in tastes. Target has a sale on t-shirt type tops this week and we came up with an order for 7 of them, 4 for her and 3 for me. So far my sister is taking my coming out in stride.
  Today I was brought to tears thinking about how my parents have told me how proud they have been of me and chances are that before the both died they were aware of my crossdressing and never said a thing to me about it. I cried thinking that I never had the courage to tell them and now it's too late.


  Hugs,
   Jeanette

[Cindy]

You are a truely awesome woman.



Congratulations and my Love

Cindy

[JeanetteLW]

You are a truely awesome woman.



Congratulations and my Love

Cindy

Thank you Cindy, but I have done anything yet. And no I am not going outside in the daylight yet!! NO!

  And how are you doing these days Cindy? I know you have had some rough post surgery issues for a few days from another of your posts and that you were doing a bit better. But how are you doing with other aspects of your life? How are you adapting to the stoma? Are there plans to give you back some kind of speech capability or have they done so already? What about your health now?  Darn it Cindy, how are you feeling?

Hugs,
Jeanette

[LizK]

. I cried thinking that I never had the courage to tell them and now it's too late.
Hugs,
   Jeanette

I read an article the other day and I don't even know how much of it was a beat up but it made sense to me. A number of people dying in a hospice were asked a series of questions before they died and one of them is "What is your biggest regret"...the top answer was that they wished they had been "true to themselves and lived more authentically" Whilst not the exact answer as written this is pretty much what was said.

Whilst it may be just another Facebook meme it rang a bell with me because when I think about it, I guess that it was my biggest regret in life...not being able to be me.

2 weeks ago it was a deep dark secret that you were prepared to die with, despite the discomfort...now you can be yourself at home...I saw in another thread where you said you were taking it easy on your sister and not dressing fem in front of her... you do realise that the restriction you are putting in place is actually about you and not her as I bet she doesn't care, I did exactly the same...Oh yes, of course it is for their benefit, because they are fragile and I don't want to break them..... when really it was about my lack of confidence/courage, Someone said something to me along the lines of  "They would not have batted an eye lid and were probably expecting a change in appearance"...After some real soul searching I realised it wasn't about them it was about me and my own level of self consciousness. Guess who was responsible for planting that little gemstone in my head...

You are doing great and should be proud of your progress

Hugs

Liz

[JeanetteLW]

 Thank you Liz,

  Yes you are likely right in that my own lack of confidence and fears are a factor in my gradual exposure of my dressing in front of my sister. However when I came out to her she did say something about it possibly being an initial shock when she saw me all dressed for the first time but would soon get over it. So gradual is is, but not very. Yesterday was very little and today was full attire w/o makeup or wig. This is likely my everyday look if I am not needing to be seen by the public. Yes, I'm still chicken. If I'm not going out en femme makeup and wig will be optional at least for now.
  And yes I am visualizing a day where I may be going outside en femme.

  Has it really been only 2 weeks? No it has to be longer than that. I went to that support meeting at least a month ago.

  Hugs,
    Jeanette

[LizK]

Thank you Liz,

  Yes you are likely right in that my own lack of confidence and fears are a factor in my gradual exposure of my dressing in front of my sister. However when I came out to her she did say something about it possibly being an initial shock when she saw me all dressed for the first time but would soon get over it. So gradual is is, but not very. Yesterday was very little and today was full attire w/o makeup or wig. This is likely my everyday look if I am not needing to be seen by the public. Yes, I'm still chicken. If I'm not going out en femme makeup and wig will be optional at least for now.
  And yes I am visualizing a day where I may be going outside en femme.

  Has it really been only 2 weeks? No it has to be longer than that. I went to that support meeting at least a month ago.

  Hugs,
    Jeanette

2 weeks ago it was a deep dark secret with your sister...is what I meant.

Awhile ago I was talking to my wife about my father and why he reacted to me in the way he did at Xmass and she said "The problem is that every time he thinks of you he sees Devine (Famous Cabaret Drag Performer)" I have to say I have never thought of it and upon asking him more recently about this it turns out she was absolutely right...even to the exact performer.

I went further and asked a few people who I was out to and a number of them had an image in their heads that was "less than flattering" until I turned up looking like any other 50 year old woman... I am sure you will dispel this myth pretty quickly with her(if she even imagines you like that) and it will become a non-issue or one that you embrace together and enjoy.

Liz

[Cindy]

Thank you Cindy, but I have done anything yet. And no I am not going outside in the daylight yet!! NO!

  And how are you doing these days Cindy? I know you have had some rough post surgery issues for a few days from another of your posts and that you were doing a bit better. But how are you doing with other aspects of your life? How are you adapting to the stoma? Are there plans to give you back some kind of speech capability or have they done so already? What about your health now?  Darn it Cindy, how are you feeling?

Hugs,
Jeanette

I'm really good. I had my first outpatient follow up last Thursday and was surprised that I had the whole team of 2 consultants and 4 registrars seeing me, seemingly I'm a bit of a star in my recovery time so they're interested in how I'm going. I was asked the usual about pain etc and I said yep, heaps of pain. I was told I had a choice, I have been so heavily irradiated that my wound healing will be slow and scars (both external and internal) will be very tight unless I keep flexing them. If I don't keep flexing I will not have pain but will have very poor movement,. I of course told them that I will have total free movement as soon as possible and as for pain - bring it on.
I'm having a TOF voice system inserted in a week or so, depending upon healing, and will then learn to talk again. I'm also being part of a clinical trial for a new type of stoma button and that will arrive soon.

Eating was an issue so I started to puree my food and then began one meal puree next meal chew and swallow. Last night I had a full home made roast chicken dinner, all chew and although it took me a while I ate the lot without too many swelling issues. Sometimes I need to stand up to allow gravity to help me swallow but that's easy.

I also had a catch up with the pathologist who looked after my histology. We have worked together and been friends for over 30 years so it has been quite a difficult time for him. Anyhow, the cancer had started to spread in the larynx but there were clear margins and it was removed. I had a neck dissection while under and so they kept sending samples to him for checking, the routine is that they will look at about 3 or 4 sentinel lymph nodes and various tissue samples. He called in his Registrars and looked at 35 sentinel nodes and 15 tissue samples while I was under and everything was clear. No wonder I was under for so long but what service!

As for life, well I'm slowly getting back to work here and getting around to some projects that I was supposed to do but had shelved for a while.
I've started a new photography project that I am enjoying.
I'm walking for 1-2 hours a day, my left thigh muscle is now my throat so I need to build up that muscle again.
But most of my time is spent in rebuilding myself, I still need about 10 hours sleep at night and 2-3 hours during the day. I'm down to 48kg so I need to put on about 15 kgs to get back to a healthy weight and I'm trying to balance my pain threshold with meditation and medication to achieve a balance that I am happy with.

Oh and I smile a lot and love life as only people who have had our experiences can.

In my spare time I have taken up the sport of cajoling