Hi folks,
Today has been one of those days.
I started out by getting up later than usual, turning on my computer, and getting some coffee. Returning to my desk, I login and start to get the morning medications and paraphernalia organized. Needle, lancets, meters, etc and launch mail client, facebook, Susan's my medication spreadsheet. I begin my pill sorting for the day's pills and look at facebook and bam there it is " transgender troop ban is now policy"... Instant anger, I'm pissed off. I read the article while sorting pills. Need more coffee. Get another cup and grab a slice of cold leftover pizza, screw cooking and the cards. I take my pills and check blood pressure hmmm up a bit surprise surprise. Blood sugar is okay, give myself my insulin shot and grab another slice of pizza. Start thinking of going for a drive. Today isn't a good day for Susan's kill that browser. Do a repost on FB and a couple of comments. God how I hate that man ughhhh! I go to my email client to shut it down and see I have a couple communication from friends. I read them and wish I hadn't. I need to get away. Get a FB message from my Missouri friend's daughter inviting me to go to a restaurant with them. Not a good Idea. Tell her thanks but that I ate already. Killed the FB browser. DAMN! I need a shower first. Phone rings, it's a friend , reminding me I said I would come over today to collect a little of the money she owes me. I don't want to deal with it now so I tell her to forget about what she owes me. It wasn't that much and I don't need it. Get into the shower, dry off and dress. I bring up a browser to address those messages I had read trying to fix a problem. then shut down the computer. I'm a bit less angry, but frustrated. I think I want to cry and before I can stop it I am. I feel anger, frustration, and foolish. Crying over nothing.
It doesn't last long but now I am tired too. Screw the drive I take a nap.
I wake up put my shoes on and turn the computer back on. No drive today but I still don't feel like getting on FB or Susan's. It would be a good idea. I bring up World of Warcraft maybe some monster killing will help. A light knock on the door. It's not my sister she would have said something too. So I get up and open the door to find my friends from Missouri standing there. WOW what a good surprise. I shut down the computer again. It seems that since I didn't go to the restaurant to be surprised with others that got invited, they brought the surprise to me. Had I stayed on fb a few seconds longer I would have gotten another message from their daughter suggested I may want to show up anyway. Or even had I brought it up after my nap I would have seen a picture of everyone at the restaurant. But neither of those happened due to my no so good mood. We had a good visit with them, their two granddaughter and a family friend that I also know. They left to take care of other business.
Anger pretty much gone, I once again bring up the computer, mail, FB and Susan's. More communications await me. This time when I am reading what is said once again make me cry. But this time is is from the good words I read, They touch me inside and made the tears flow again. My emotions are again under control. I can read and post on FB again. I take a picture of my transgender veteran T-shirt and post it on FB with a blurb about me being a transgender veteran and loving my country and express my displeasure over the ban. I do it calmly, I'm OK.
I'm good so I bring up Susan's, reading and making a few comments. I'm under control.
Yes, I am still somewhat angry. I hate what is happening in politics. I hate where my country is heading. And I hate what it does to me. But for now my emotions are in check. I'm okay. Welcome to my day.
Love you all and I'm sorry when my emotions get the best of me. It robs me from being of service to some of you and it robs me of getting support from all of you.
Hugs,
Laurie
