Here I go again :-(

[Laurie]

Thanks Davina,

  Perhaps I should dress nicely more often but going to the grocery store dressed up would feel a bit much.

Hugs,
   Laurie

[Georgette]

Laurie

"Accosted by a Gentleman" sounds rather harsh, for a complement.

Don't know that the Therapist would lie just to make you feel better for pay, MAYBE you did look pretty.
We all white lie to others as it is not productive to just make others feel bad, we want others around us feel good.  I don't handle complements well, but others tell me to just thank others, after all they could have said nothing.

There is a difference between being "dressed up" and "dress nicely".  I try to always "dress nicely", but do save being "dressed up" for other times.  I always dress in dresses, but big difference in everyday and for clubs and such.

[Laurie]

Well look at you all pretty as a picture. Hope things go well with your therapist. Jeez girl you lookin' good.

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

Thank you Sadie, I am happy to see you still hanging around occasionally. Kinda been missing you.

Hugs,
    Laurie

[Laurie]

Laurie

"Accosted by a Gentleman" sounds rather harsh, for a complement.

Don't know that the Therapist would lie just to make you feel better for pay, MAYBE you did look pretty.
We all white lie to others as it is not productive to just make others feel bad, we want others around us feel good.  I don't handle complements well, but others tell me to just thank others, after all they could have said nothing.

There is a difference between being "dressed up" and "dress nicely".  I try to always "dress nicely", but do save being "dressed up" for other times.  I always dress in dresses, but big difference in everyday and for clubs and such.

Hi Georgette,

  You are right Accosted would be a bit harsh  had I not meant it as a tongue in cheek  comment. Be assured I did thank both men for the compliments. Again it was my little attempt at humor.
  For me that outfit was dressing up, though you are right a night out for a nice dinner or party would call for a bit more. As it was I did use a little more makeup, a bit more mascara. eyeliner, a bit heavier shadow though still not a lot, darker lipstick a black leather look skirt and low heeled pumps. It was definitely not an everyday look.
  When I go to my Cinderella Ball to meet my prince Charming you can bet I'll be "Dressed up"  lol
  Good to hear from you again Georgette, (Hugs)

Laurie

[Laurie]

 My head and heart are not in today. Stuff keeps leaking out. I'm going to crawl back into my bed and hide.

[Kendra]

You need a hug.  Here's one.   

[Megan.]

My head and heart are not in today. Stuff keeps leaking out. I'm going to crawl back into my bed and hide.

Have a 'huggle' from me,  hope you're in a better place soon. X

Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk

[davina61]

This might make you smile, my  cousin messaged me saying she had see the perfect T shirt for me. It said The future is female. Might have to go shopping!!!

[Laurie]

  I think I can say my grandchildren, son in law, and daughter are well and truly lost to me. All I get from my daughter and her husband is public character assassination and vitriol. I am obviously no longer welcome among them and I see no hope whatsoever of reconciliation. Even if I were able to detransition it would do no good as the conflict has gone far beyond my being transgender. The damage in done and past repair.
  As you can imagine I am upset by this and I think I shall be for some time. My feelings are to cut and run, isolating myself from the world. Would that I could, I'd be gone now. I wish I never married and had a family. Had I not I wouldn't be having to deal with it now. I can't cut and run so I will be here. I'm functional and will try to do my job but I cannot say that I am in a good place at the moment. It comes and goes. I will get past this. I'm sorry if I haven't seemed myself lately.

laurie

[Megan.]

Oh Laurie,  I'm so sorry your family can't accept you,  have a huge hug from me.
Understandable why you've been struggling; it will take time to heal,  but heal you can, and will.
Look after yourself,  reflect,  then move forward to better things and happier times. X

Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk

[Rachel]

I am sorry Laurie. I know it is very difficult and it hurts.

At group last week 3 woman came out to their families. It was a very pain filled group last week; their pain rings home and opens old wounds. We are there to witness their pain and offer a hug and company. We all know what they are going through and the struggle. All while they struggle to be themselves and deal with their new trans-privilege. I am very sorry Laurie and wish I could be there with you to support you.

Best,
Rachel

[davina61]

Laurie darling its not been the same without you, hope you will be feeling yourself soon , VERY BIG HUGS from here. What can you say about family, feel for you.

[KathyLauren]

Laurie, I can feel the pain in your words.  I am so sorry that members of your family have let you down.  That must be a terrible thing to bear.  I can't make it better for you, but here's a hug anyway:  ((())).

[Tommie_9]

  I think I can say my grandchildren, son in law, and daughter are well and truly lost to me. All I get from my daughter and her husband is public character assassination and vitriol. I am obviously no longer welcome among them and I see no hope whatsoever of reconciliation. Even if I were able to detransition it would do no good as the conflict has gone far beyond my being transgender. The damage in done and past repair.
  As you can imagine I am upset by this and I think I shall be for some time. My feelings are to cut and run, isolating myself from the world. Would that I could, I'd be gone now. I wish I never married and had a family. Had I not I wouldn't be having to deal with it now. I can't cut and run so I will be here. I'm functional and will try to do my job but I cannot say that I am in a good place at the moment. It comes and goes. I will get past this. I'm sorry if I haven't seemed myself lately.

Laurie,

You are loved, girl! Give them time. They loved you before, and they will love you again. It's painful I know. I've felt it, too. Connect to infinite love that is there for you. Much, much love your way!

Tommie

laurie

[Michelle_P]

Laurie, I'm so sad to read that this happened. We love and accept our children and those that they bind to their lives, and seeing that love and acceptance discarded, and a terrible cold response in exchange is a terrible thing.

This is nothing that you've done, simply a refusal by them to accept and honor your revealing your innermost self.   Perhaps, in time, they may grow to understand and accept you, but there's no need for you to retreat from yourself to appease them, as I see so many try to do. 

We all have regrets for the past, things we wish we had done differently, but the past is immutable, and worry about the past is a fruitless way to squander our energy.   The best we can do is learn from it and find our path forward to future joy and peace.

Be well, Laurie.  Know that others do care for you.

[Charlie Nicki]

 Laurie, I'm sorry that you are going though such a hard time. We all lose things transitioning, you're not alone. We will be here whenever you need to talk.

Sending hugs and positive vibes your way!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Tessa James]

Hey Laurie,

Tough beans girlfriend!  That rejection stuff is mean to da bone.  I am here for you and not far away.  Come on out and take a break from the heat while we walk the beaches.....you know the way to do a mini road trip 

Love and hugs....

[Laurie]

Why do I cry when i see someone else is happy? It isn't a new thing, I've done it for a long time now. But is it is occurring more often. I think I'm broke.

[Tommie_9]

Why do I cry when i see someone else is happy? It isn't a new thing, I've done it for a long time now. But is it is occurring more often. I think I'm broke.

Laurie,

You are not broke. You are a special spirit. Much love and hugs your way!

Tommie

[Laurie]

Thank You Tommie, and everyone else that try to make me feel better. But I really feel broken inside. There's something wrong. I'm happy for whoever it is I hear or read about, really I am but at the same time it hurts, I want to know why I can't have love and happiness too. Like I'm being punished or don't deserve it. All i have ever wanted in this world is gone. I've ruined it and chased it away. I'm broken, I cry, and sometimes it's hard to keep it bottled up inside. I think wtf am I doing and who do I think I'm kidding? This transition is going to end the same way. Some how I'll screw it up too.

Edit:  I deleted this after I took a nap, then found out it took 7 other posts from this thread with it. So I retrieved them which of course brought this one back too. I left it alone for a while then decided to explain it a little.

   The above is how I have been feeling lately. It comes and goes. The above was one of my lower times. Usually I feel about like I do at the moment. I still feel off and broken but I have it under control. I tried to delete it because I was embarrassed by it after my nap. After retrieving it I said to heck with it, let them see it, it is me and how I am feeling. So there it is. I'm also not thinking completely  straight at times. I can't say I'm sleeping particularly well as my body is in control of that while my head is else where. I'm here at the computer until I'm beginning to doze at the keyboard then I take what is usually a nap. How long I sleep is up to my body but it is usually only a couple hours and then I'm up again. I try to keep busy to keep my own problem at bay. It doesn't always work because many times what I read can bring my problems back into focus.
  I'm sorry folks. I really don't want to be sharing this with  anyone else. I'd rather not think of it at all, I want to put my problems in a box and shove it in a dark corner and forget about it. I no longer drink or do drugs but both have been in my mind recently. I want to become numb, I want to forget. I almost want to go to sleep and not wake up. I can't do any of those, so I continue trying to put it away and carry on.