Alone in the dark?

[Shy]

I've always never really bothered about walking alone at night, in fact I used to enjoy it, but since coming out I've become super aware of my surroundings. I'm aware of every noise, my senses seem laser sharp.
It's hard to explain really. I mean I'm ok presenting during the day, but walking alone at night is a whole other experience. I really don't trust men walking towards me at all. Even groups of women seem threatening.
I know most of this must be in my head, but it feels more instinctive than rationalised. It certainly wasn't something I was expecting to happen. Anyone else experience this?

Shy

[Cindy]

Oh yes.

And you and all new women need to learn the rules (sadly). Eyes open avoid dark streets, walk with someone (another women will usually walk with you if you ask).  Car keys in the hand and on the remote. Check the back seat if you have one as you get into the car which you have left in a well lit place. NEVER park next to a van and if you come back and find one next you seriously consider getting a cab.
I let my friends know I'm going out at night so I can tell them when I get home. If I'm leaving my boyfriends place by cab I let him know when I get home, I did have a cab get 'lost' in the early morning and that was not nice.

Paranoia? Unfortunately just female life.

Welcome to the sisterhood.

[JeanetteLW]

Hi Shy,

   I believe I have though probably not to the extent you are talking about and only once so far. The night I went to the Portland support meeting I had to park a couple blocks away. It was in a residential neighborhood in an area of town I'm not really comfortable in in male node during the day. Anyway there I am wig, makeup, earrings and women's jeans with a pink top. I was very aware of being a trans-woman walking those 2-3 blocks alone. The lighting wasn't the best there either. I would have been a bit on edge as a man but this was a completely different aspect. I locked my doors as soon as I was back in.


  Hugs,
    Jeanette

[KathyLauren]

My adventures as myself have mostly been in the daytime so far.  But, yes, I check my surroundings carefully as I walk.  I am happiest when no one notices me, particularly men.  I often check my reflection in windows to see what is going on behind me.  The only time I have been out at night, I was with my wife.  Safety in numbers.

[Shy]

Oh yes.

And you and all new women need to learn the rules (sadly). Eyes open avoid dark streets, walk with someone (another women will usually walk with you if you ask).  Car keys in the hand and on the remote. Check the back seat if you have one as you get into the car which you have left in a well lit place. NEVER park next to a van and if you come back and find one next you seriously consider getting a cab.
I let my friends know I'm going out at night so I can tell them when I get home. If I'm leaving my boyfriends place by cab I let him know when I get home, I did have a cab get 'lost' in the early morning and that was not nice.

Paranoia? Unfortunately just female life.

Welcome to the sisterhood.

Thanks Cindy,

I'm surprised how quickly my instincts kicked in after masking them for so many years. The headphones were unplugged, I took the longer, but more public way home. No short cuts across the park.
It wasn't paranoia or anything like that. Hard to explain really, and it wasn't necessarily a bad experience.
I was a woman taking care of what needed to be done to stay safe. That's how it felt, very natural, a little uncomfortable at times, but strangely the dysphoria I usually drag around with me was completely gone.
So yes I think I may be joining the sisterhood after all.

Hi Shy,

   I believe I have though probably not to the extent you are talking about and only once so far. The night I went to the Portland support meeting I had to park a couple blocks away. It was in a residential neighborhood in an area of town I'm not really comfortable in in male node during the day. Anyway there I am wig, makeup, earrings and women's jeans with a pink top. I was very aware of being a trans-woman walking those 2-3 blocks alone. The lighting wasn't the best there either. I would have been a bit on edge as a man but this was a completely different aspect. I locked my doors as soon as I was back in.

Hugs,
    Jeanette

Yes, I think we had the same sort of experience Jeanette.
It's like all of a sudden the normal rules don't apply and you have a whole new street language to learn. I felt decidedly myself though, no questions, no squirrels as you like to call them. Things were the way they were meant to be, even if it is a sad reflection of the state of society and the attitude towards women.

My adventures as myself have mostly been in the daytime so far.  But, yes, I check my surroundings carefully as I walk.  I am happiest when no one notices me, particularly men.  I often check my reflection in windows to see what is going on behind me.  The only time I have been out at night, I was with my wife.  Safety in numbers.

Hi Kathy,

Yes, I've noticed I've got man issues. Female attention I can handle but I don't trust men I don't know at all.
Strange really because I'll be looking for a male partner when I've transitioned.
Early days for me though, I'm sure my feeling are going to be all over the place for the next few years.

[Lynne]

I never liked to go near a group of people at night, not even in male mode. And that's amplified when I'm out as a female. Also I'm very self-conscious about my voice as a female. It makes me nervous when I know I cannot avoid talking, and when I'm nervous it's even harder for me to sound female. Sure way to get clocked, which doesn't help when potentially dangerous people are around.
Every city I lived in so far was full of drunks at night and I had quite a few incidents from aggressive catcalling to threats of violence in the last 6 years, fortunately none of them ended badly but that was far from guaranteed at the time.
Because of certain health issues I cannot run too much or too fast so even in flat shoes it's not very likely that I can outrun anyone and in heels this becomes impossible. If I'm not certain that the direction I'm going is safe I'll choose another route instantly. I constantly listen for noises which could indicate other people or cars getting closer and I'm glancing over my shoulder regularly because if someone is really determined to get me they will, I'm not that strong or fast to fight my way out.
My girlfriend had an incident where the police was involved in the end, a drunk guy grabbed her breasts while she was walking home from work at night. Nothing more happened but she couldn't really do anything about it, it could have been a lot worse. The police never found the guy of course.

[big kim]

Used to walk home late when I was a bus/tram driver, stick to busy  well lit  areas & avoid places were there's no one