Another Hello! London, UK here.

[Winter_Rose]

Hiya all,

Wow, this is harder to write than I thought it was going to be.

So, best thing to do is to just start I suppose! Hi, I'm 37, and wishing I'd done this a lot sooner. I'm really quite new to this, and I suppose I'm looking for support and advice. I've seen my GP, who was wonderful, been referred to London GIC (With the wait time of one year... Which, to be fair, I shouldn't be as negative about as I am - they are busy, underfunded, and I'm not paying for it, so I can shut my mouth and move on), and spoken to work, family & friends, and socially made my position known.

What I'm terribly, terribly uncertain about is what happens next? I know I'm not a man.

(Was saying that hard for anyone else? Just writing it now was terrifying. I mean, I know it's true, but I don't know if I could have actually said it - bless the anonymity of the internet I suppose for making this sort of thing easier).

But I'm looking at the years between now and looking like what I feel and trying to plan them. What do I need to be thinking of doing? What do I need to be planning? Who do I need to see?

Honestly, am I making a huge mistake?

There's enough horror stories out there to make a girl...

(First time ever using that term to refer to myself. Kinda proud, kinda scared).

... doubt herself. I suppose I just need to talk to people who have been here, and have someone tell me it's going to be OK on some level.

Erm, yes. So, that wasn't quite what I was planning when I first started writing this. It was meant to be a bit more of a "Hello!" with a "What should I be doing?" sub vibe.

So, hey! Any advice, conversation, and a chance to talk would be appreciated.

Thank you.

[Dena]

Welcome to Susan's Place. It's not likely you are making a mistake but that will get sorted out as time goes on. The bad stories get the press and the many good outcomes are never mentioned. I mean have you ever heard about me? I had my 15 minutes of fame which really amounted to 15 seconds of air time.

It sounds like you haven't had any therapy yet and I don't know how much you have researched this so I am going to give you a couple of links to explore. The first is  our WIKI where you will learn what the term transgender means. The second is "the transition channel" where a gender therapist will help you explore your feelings. Feel free to ask any questions you might have and we will do our best to answer them.

We issue to all new members the following links so you will best be able to use the web site.

Things that you should read

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
Reputation rules	News posting & quoting guidelines	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy

[Janes Groove]

Was saying that hard for anyone else?

Welcome to the club Winter_Rose.  And congratulations on finally being able to admit that to yourself.  That was absolutely hard for me to say.  And to accept.  That reminds me of a therapy session I had with my gender therapist once.  I had been going to see her every week for about 4 months and was on the eve of my first appointment to get hormone replacement therapy.  My mind was going about 100 miles per hour in a 10 miles per hour zone.  I was really in a state.  Not to put too fine a point on it, but I was freaking out.  She asked me,  Where do you see all this going?  I mumbled something. I don't even remember what and she said, "No. I mean long term?"  I couldn't answer her. I looked around the room and the silence was thick.  Then I said, "I guess where it's going is transition."  That was hard to say!  Because saying it made it real.  I say it all the time now. I'm not afraid of it anymore. I'm a transitioning transgender woman.

[JeanetteLW]

  Hi Rose,

  I'm Jeanette, self appointed unofficial greeter for Susan's place. I'm 64, MtF, and on hrt since December. I want to welcome you to Susan's. Come on in and have a seat. Yes you can get comfy on the sofa there. I'm sure Devlyn won't mind. She's out of it....err I mean she's out right now so it's okay I'm sure. There soda and icewater in the fridge or coffee and tea on the counter.  Did you find some good reads in the posts? make a few comments? well you do what suits you. Perhaps just mingle and get to know us.
  So glad you are discovering yourself and getting some help. I don't know how you girls in the UK can put up with those forever wait times to get any real help. I know your doubts and uncertainties intimately. It's one thing to know you are different in your own head but it's down right scary to articulate it to someone else. I did things backwards by starting to do HRT meds and then telling my doctor and getting them the right way. My doctor was very professional about it and made me feel confident that he was there to help me. Through him I was able to seek therapy to workout my concerns. My therapist hasn't had much time to really help yet but just having someone to talk to about all this is help in itself.
   This forum is a good support resource. There are lots of people here that will try to answer your questions and be a concerned friend to anyone who reaches out. I have just started telling family and friends about myself and have had to draw upon the strength of others here to give me courage to do so and a sympathetic shoulder to cry on when I'm having a down day. It really helps having a place like Susan's.
   To answer your question; "Am I doing the right thing?" Yes you are! Once you admitted you are not a man, you started doing the right thing to become who you really are. The road can be tough at time but the rewards can also be good. Keep walking down that road and you'll have us here to hold your hand along the way.

  Be welcome here Rose, welcome home.

  Hugs,
    Jeanette

[karenk1959]

Welcome Rose! I am fairly new to this site. Not only is it good to know other people are going through the same emotions as you, but it is great to journal your feelings ~ makes them more clear.

I recently came out as TG after way too many years of repression-induced depression. Know that these feelings are and should be scary. It is a frightening prospect to desire something that likely will upend your life. The good news is that there is no rush to sort out your feelings. I have a great therapist who has been a godsend. Take it day by day. You don't have to figure everything out right this minute. Try not to worry about the distant future ~ things like the horrors of SRS or what it's like to take hormones. After a while, you and I might decide that we don't want to transition. Everyone is different.

I noticed that you said, "I know that I am not a man". Next post, try and say, "I know that I am a woman" and see how it feels. For me, I haven't touched the surface of sorting out my feelings, but it is so very liberating and lifts my depression to say that I want to be a woman.

Good luck on your journey!!!

[V M]

Hi Rose 

Welcome to Susan's Place    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M