Picking a completely different name

[percy]

Hi everyone.

I plan on changing my name to something completely different than my birth name, last name included.
For a long while, I've been debating on it.. mostly because 'what can people get use to'.
But I realize that I don't want to be associated at all with my old self, an old nickname included..

I currently use a name which my father refuses to call me and keeps referring to my as my birth name. Even though it is literally the first two letters of my birth name.
I decided that I'm not asking anyone in the family what their opinion is on the name I end up picking, because it is mine.

There's a lot of anxiety around this. I have told my mother and one grandmother, they seem pretty supportive of the name Percy.

Anyone here have any stories on how picking a complete different name went for them?

[meatwagon]

if they're not willing or able to accept or get used to a new name, it's not going to matter how similar it is to your old one.  they either will or they won't, and there's no sense in sticking with something that you don't really like just for the hope of a few other people accepting it more easily.  you're the one who has to live with it--like you said, it's your name.

i haven't been able to do any kind of transition yet, but i've picked a name.  the last name is the same, the first is slightly different (same first and last letters, same number of syllables, but not at all related to the original), and the middle name (or names, i should say) is the biggest change.  nothing will remain of the given middle name at all because i have never had any attachment to it.  i brought it up with my dad, and while he felt the need to point out that he had liked the names he gave me, he was at least willing to listen and accept whatever i chose to do.  the rest of my family doesn't acknowledge any of this, and if they have heard/seen evidence of my name choice, they've ignored it.  close friends have no problem, as i expected.  i guess i'll be interested to see how things go when i actually get it legally changed and the family finds out just how different it is...

[findingreason]

For me, I went with a totally different name from my birth name. Totally different letters and nothing like it. Primarily because I did not like any of the names that started with a J (which is what my old name started with). To get there, I did brainstorm sessions with friends until I came up with candidates for a name. Then I went with one for a bit to see if it felt right, and once I did with that, that's when I decided my name. My mom did not approve of it at first, but she got used to it.

[Axolotl]

One thing you may want to do is try your name at Starbucks.  If seeing the name on the cup doesn't feel right, you might not actually like the name as much as you hoped.  I tried out several new middle names this way, and realized I just prefer to not even have a middle name.

I have been very firm on keeping my first name: Alex.  People tried to tell me it's a guy's name.  People have suggested Alexis, Alexa, Alexandria etc.  I still think Alex is a valid female name without needing to exaggerate the feminization.  I tried the nickname Lexi for a while, to see how I felt about it.  It's cute, but doesn't feel better than my normal name.

You can also listen to the flow of your new name when speaking it out loud and hear if the syllables sound pleasing or not.  I definitely agree with you on not letting anyone else decide your name for you.  The good news is you don't have to be sure of what the new name is until you go to change it with the government.

[natalie.ashlyne]

I picked my name by by the first initial of my first name  and will be taking over my mothers madden Name when I do legally change names

[Kaylin]

I have had this recently as well, albeit in anonymously online, so very easily changeable if I didn't like it. I picked a name the same way that I pick character names in video games (I am THE NERD). I string letters together until they fit, and I ended up with Kaylin. Followed by the Auriel, the Archangel of Hope from Diablo and then Cain, the surname of a few characters from the same game series. Giving me;

Kaylin Auriel Cain, although Cain would be replaced with my surname were I to change it in my public life.

[Britt116]

So I am only 16 and have not come out yet and I only cross dress in private. That being said my name is not 100% on what I choose but I am leaning towards Brittany. The story behind this is that my dysphoria has caused me depression. One of the things that helped me out was watching Roman Atwood on YouTube and his girlfriends name is Brittany. He has helped me get through the rough parts and I also think that Brittany is a beautiful name.

[Alex81]

I have a few names I've always liked, and would prefer a more androgynous name. As far as my last name is concerned, I'm still at odds of what to use. My current last name is my fathers name, and I've always said I would change it. I have decided though that when I come out on facebook (where much of my family is on), if they accept, I will take the family last name. If they disown or object to it, I will change my name to something else - even if its determined that my condition can be treated without hormones.

But for now, my androgynous/female name is "Alex".

[CrziCricket]

I agree, if they won't take to the shortened version of your birth name it probably won't make a difference if it's totally different.

That being said, I have chosen a name that is COMPLETELY different than my birth name. A few people know it, and I use it to get coffee while out, but I haven't started living life by that name. I'm just too afraid to make it a mass use because I am afraid of moving too fast for others and myself. (I constantly second guess every decision I make in life and almost daily wonder if I really am trans even though I am soooo much happier living a masculine life, being perceived as a male, and being referred to by my male name)


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[CrziCricket]

I have been very firm on keeping my first name: Alex.  People tried to tell me it's a guy's name.  People have suggested Alexis, Alexa, Alexandria etc.  I still think Alex is a valid female name without needing to exaggerate the feminization.

Alex is a TOTALLY acceptable female name! I would personally choose a longer version for a formal name (like Alexandria) but still use Alex as a nickname. I grew up with only one male Alex and about 5 female Alex's.

I love it for girls honestly.


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[Devlyn]

Hi Percy! I changed my complete name last year, first, middle, and last names. I feel great about it. It's a new start, a birth moment for a grown woman. 

Here in Massachusetts, it slightly complicated the court proceedings because the judge required me to post a legal notice (it varies case by case, each judge uses their own discretion). There was a $180 listing fee for the newspaper ad. There's no way of knowing, but perhaps if the last name wasn't changed the judge wouldn't have required the ad.

You'll wrestle with this decision. I did. Changing your online name and changing your actual name are two different animals. I have faith you'll make the right decision. 

Hugs, Devlyn

[itschristina]

Your name is something extremely personal, so if you don't want to ask your family you have the right to do so. Choose what feels right. I decided to keep my first name as it is, since it's a very unique name and is unisex. I like it, and I know my family cares a lot. I decided to completely change my middle name, which I always hated and went with what felt right. I decided with my mom, and the name "Daisy" came up. Initially it was Christina, but we agreed that it didn't suit me. However, if you want to change your name completely than it's totally up to you! Do what makes you happy!

[Sena]

It took some time for me to find my new name wasnt really attached to my old name and didnt really waned one that looked like it.
It took some time to find a name heard a lot of names i liked mostly from anime or movies.
And in the end i had a few name and eventually decide on my current name becaus i liked that one the most and it seemed to fit me.

[SiobhánF]

I chose my new name (Bridget) because it has the same first letter of my birth name. My reasoning is simply due to timing and future employment/background check. So, if my name were John Smith, but I changed it to Jolene, it's easier for employers to search based on first initial and last name (i.e., J. Smith). I say timing because of all I have accomplished in life and how far I've come. For me, it's also a way for me to remember from where I came, where I am now, and to where I want to go. That, and I like the name I chose (Bridget Siobhán). It suits me, I think. To each their own.