if they're not willing or able to accept or get used to a new name, it's not going to matter how similar it is to your old one. they either will or they won't, and there's no sense in sticking with something that you don't really like just for the hope of a few other people accepting it more easily. you're the one who has to live with it--like you said, it's your name.
i haven't been able to do any kind of transition yet, but i've picked a name. the last name is the same, the first is slightly different (same first and last letters, same number of syllables, but not at all related to the original), and the middle name (or names, i should say) is the biggest change. nothing will remain of the given middle name at all because i have never had any attachment to it. i brought it up with my dad, and while he felt the need to point out that he had liked the names he gave me, he was at least willing to listen and accept whatever i chose to do. the rest of my family doesn't acknowledge any of this, and if they have heard/seen evidence of my name choice, they've ignored it. close friends have no problem, as i expected. i guess i'll be interested to see how things go when i actually get it legally changed and the family finds out just how different it is...