onlytwin, you sound quite a lot like me. I dealt a lot with fluctuating dysphoria in the several years leading up to my realization. I kept pushing it back down and trying to "be properly female." It's sad how I could look in the mirror and realize that I actually looked nice with makeup, feminine clothing, but felt so disconnected from myself and wrong in some way I couldn't define at the same time.
My narrative isn't exactly standard, either; though honestly the "standard narrative" simply isn't representative of all people. I suppose some might have considered me a tomboy, as I tended to wear mostly unisex tees and loose shorts or jeans in grade school, detested dresses, and liked to play video games and collect Pokemon cards, but I was never sporty and certainly didn't
know I was a boy from early on--though I do remember thinking it was stupid my mother wouldn't let me play a video game my brother hand played at my age because he was a boy and I wasn't. My hair was always very long, as well (partly because my mother didn't want me to cut it). I dealt with abuse in childhood as well, which I think made it harder to come to terms with myself.
And I relate very well to that fake feeling you're talking about. As a teenager years back, the dysphoria would come in strange little waves. I'd look in the mirror sometimes and I was afraid I looked like a boy
trying to be a girl. I was trying to shove all that back down and just be a girl like I was "supposed to." I'm sure others just saw a girl, and they do still see me as female now, but I could see it and feel it. Looking back at most pictures of myself of middle school onward now, I see a boy who is doing a very good job at looking female to others but isn't fooling himself so well.
I'd say definitely don't just choke it back down, but I wouldn't just jump right on hormones, either. Hormone level testing isn't necessary now, really, but they will likely test them if you ever do decide to pursue hormone therapy to get a feel for your baseline levels--along with a lot of other general testing to ensure you're healthy. I'm currently talking to a therapist to process all of this and help me determine next steps, which I think is really helpful; that might be a route to take, a middle road between immediate medical intervention and just trying to ignore it.
BUT: Like Elis said, there's no one way to be trans. What you're going through is no less valid than what anyone else is. You don't have to compare yourself to others in their dysphoria, though it's certainly nice to take comfort in knowing others have felt similarly.
