Terrified w/prospect of going to therapist as Sarah

[Sarah.VanDistel]

So happy for you Sarah , I glad you have blossomed at last, I seen to be going backwards rather that forwards.
Sara.

Oh Sara... Come on, girl! Cheer up! [emoji4]  I know that this is a period of grace for me; it will not last forever (I wish!). I also know that sometimes, in order to take two steps forward, one must first take one backward! [emoji130] Don't be put down by obstacles, girl... Remember: you are a SARA! Do I really need to say more?[emoji6]

Big hug with a nice cup of freshly brewed courage and hope for you! [emoji477]

Your sis, Sarah

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[Dena]

So happy for you Sarah , I glad you have blossomed at last, I seen to be going backwards rather that forwards.
Sara.

Lets see, you went to a group meeting as yourself, you are working on HRT, you have explained to you wife what you must do and you are willing to go out in public as yourself again. Just a month or two ago you wouldn't consider doing any of these things. The transition is a series of small steps and you have taken several. Sometimes you reach the point where you need to pause and it seems like you aren't making progress any longer. It's a long journey but you are on your way.

[Laurie]

So happy for you Sarah , I glad you have blossomed at last, I seen to be going backwards rather that forwards.
Sara.

Then turn yourself around and take a step Sara. Forward is that a way ----->.

Seriously Sara you do need to turn your thinking around and think of what steps you can take to make progress instead of thinking you cannot do anything. You can make progress but you have to try first.

You can do it.

Hugs,
   Laurie

[Sarah.VanDistel]

So today I went to my first appointment with a speech therapist. Since it was the first time, it served to make a base evaluation. Apparently, my tone is situated on the more feminine extremity of the gender-ambiguous spectrum (190Hz) and because I won't be needing a tracheal shave, the therapist said she was very optimistic that I can attain an easily passable feminine voice. Wow! However, she also detected a bit of hoarseness and so she asked me to go consult an ORL to make sure the vocal cords are okay.

I went to the appointment "en Sarah", of course. This pic is especially for you. Elkie... lol

Hugs, Sarah

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[sarah1972]

Yes, you did chose a pretty name  ...
I had a few of those comments too!
Well, given that I live in the US and used to have a very German name no one could ever pronounce, I think they are just happy I chose something simple

Given the amount of Sarah's on Susan's we may need to petition for a Sarah section somewhere 

Hugs - Sarah

P.S. the last colleague whom I talked to this morning told me 2 or 3 times that I had chosen a very pretty name. Thought you'd like to know... [emoji6]

Hugs, Sarah

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[coldHeart]

My problem is have no confidence or self believe, which seams from a horrific childhood,  my dysphoria is really bad so I need to be Sara sooner rather that later.
Sarah v, looking really stunning.
Out of interest how many Sarah's are there?.
Sara.

[coldHeart]

Oh yes forgot, if any one has a spare mojo going well I'm after one lol.
Sara

[Dena]

My problem is have no confidence or self believe, which seams from a horrific childhood,  my dysphoria is really bad so I need to be Sara sooner rather that later.
Sarah v, looking really stunning.
Out of interest how many Sarah's are there?.
Sara.

We are working on opening you up but it take time. You are already becoming comfortable around us and as you become your true self, you will become comfortable with others.

As for the numbers of Sarahs, looks like something over 100. As for Denas, looks like three 

[Laurie]

So today I went to my first appointment with a speech therapist. Since it was the first time, it served to make a base evaluation. Apparently, my tone is situated on the more feminine extremity of the gender-ambiguous spectrum (190Hz) and because I won't be needing a tracheal shave, the therapist said she was very optimistic that I can attain an easily passable feminine voice. Wow! However, she also detected a bit of hoarseness and so she asked me to go consult an ORL to make sure the vocal cords are okay.

I went to the appointment "en Sarah", of course. This pic is especially for you. Elkie... lol

Hugs, Sarah

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More good news Sarah. You just keep on going girl.

Hugs,
   Laurie

[elkie-t]

I don't think you need me to nitpick your most recent outfit. Obviously it was supposed to be low key and comfortable and achieved it wonderfully (there's a huge difference between dressing up for a special event and dressing for some routine business).

What I wanted to say, it is important not to have your life turning around your transition all the time. Try to find some activity that both you and your spouse are enjoying together (but with the opportunity to meet other people - and have those meeting revolving around a common hobby and not your transition). It can be a gym, salsa dancing or rock climbing, or hiking/backpacking - quite anything - as long as both of you will look forward to do it on more or less regular basis as girlfriends (shopping is a serious business, not a hobby! Don't became a shopaholic like me, or you'll never have any money saved).

Harvard university studies showed that people having active social life live on average 10 yrs longer and have much better quality of life than loners... I would trust Harvard, their motto is 'Veritas'

[Lady Sarah]

Given the amount of Sarah's on Susan's we may need to petition for a Sarah section somewhere 

It would appear there are more people here named Sarah, than any other name. I find it fascinating. And, of course it's a pretty name. That's why I took it 26 years ago. :-)

[Sarah_P]

My problem is have no confidence or self believe, which seams from a horrific childhood,  my dysphoria is really bad so I need to be Sara sooner rather that later.
Sarah v, looking really stunning.
Out of interest how many Sarah's are there?.
Sara.

WE believe in you, Sara. Never forget that & you'll be able to believe in yourself, too. 

And it should be a Sara(h) section!

[Sarah.VanDistel]

I don't think you need me to nitpick your most recent outfit. Obviously it was supposed to be low key and comfortable and achieved it wonderfully (there's a huge difference between dressing up for a special event and dressing for some routine business).

What I wanted to say, it is important not to have your life turning around your transition all the time. Try to find some activity that both you and your spouse are enjoying together (but with the opportunity to meet other people - and have those meeting revolving around a common hobby and not your transition). It can be a gym, salsa dancing or rock climbing, or hiking/backpacking - quite anything - as long as both of you will look forward to do it on more or less regular basis as girlfriends (shopping is a serious business, not a hobby! Don't became a shopaholic like me, or you'll never have any money saved).

Harvard university studies showed that people having active social life live on average 10 yrs longer and have much better quality of life than loners... I would trust Harvard, their motto is 'Veritas'

Very interesting... And I also found out that:

A sense of humor helps to keep people healthy and increases their chances of reaching retirement age.
- researchers at the Norwegian University of Science and Technology (NTNU) have found.

Dear Elkie, the pic was just a tease... I was trying to be humorous but, well, I guess stand-up comedy won't be my hobby! [emoji23] Please, forgive me if I was annoying... I promise I'll try hard to keep my frontal lobes in check! Thanks anyway for you veiled compliment... [emoji4]

Yeah... about hobbies. I love travelling and cycling in family and we usually do it pretty regularly, but at this moment my wife and the kids are abroad and they'll be coming back in a couple of weeks, finally! I sometimes do it alone, but it's not as fun of course. I also enjoy very much reading and working in the garden... But what I LOVE above all is cooking! And then share what I cook, have feedback... I feel like a magician, when I cook! And I love doing it with my wife and kids!

I never had many friends, Elkie (and I'm pretty sure that I can trace that back to my gender issues) and this is still true. With my transition, I expect to have even less... But the good news is that I'm becoming much more expansive and willing to meet new people. So there's hope. But you ARE right, hobbies and social life ARE important. For some time now I was trying to convince my beloved to begin hikking... I think I'm gonna remind her. [emoji6]

Elkie... Thanks girl! You know how much your comments are appreciated!

Big warm hug, Sarah

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[SadieBlake]

Try to find some activity that both you and your spouse are enjoying together (but with the opportunity to meet other people - and have those meeting revolving around a common hobby and not your transition). It can be a gym, salsa dancing or rock climbing, or hiking/backpacking - quite anything - as long as both of you will look forward to do it on more or less regular basis as girlfriends (shopping is a serious business, not a hobby! Don't became a shopaholic like me, or you'll never have any money saved).

Harvard university studies showed that people having active social life live on average 10 yrs longer and have much better quality of life than loners... I would trust Harvard, their motto is 'Veritas'

Elkie good call! I've spent many happy miles biking with friends, rock climbing etc, my partner has her own set of activities and we shop together and cook well together.

As to Harvard ... Well there are other institutes along the river Charles, we all love that dirty water though :-)

Sarah, so awesome that you bike with family, I'd love to ride over there someday, Belgium sounds amazing.

[Sarah.VanDistel]

Elkie good call! I've spent many happy miles biking with friends, rock climbing etc, my partner has her own set of activities and we shop together and cook well together.

As to Harvard ... Well there are other institutes along the river Charles, we all love that dirty water though :-)

Sarah, so awesome that you bike with family, I'd love to ride over there someday, Belgium sounds amazing.

Two years ago, I almost convinced my wife and two kids to do the Kungsleden (King's Trail) in Sweden... Almost... [emoji19] But Sarah is a very persistent girl and when she really wants something, get out of the way! I'll sure try to convince them to do it next year!

Belgium (and especially Flanders) is very good to bike in family because it's mainly flat. We often go biking in the Netherlands as well, as almost every national park has long bike trails.

Hugs, Sarah

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[SadieBlake]

Two years ago, I almost convinced my wife and two kids to do the Kungsleden (King's Trail) in Sweden... Almost...

Belgium (and especially Flanders) is very good to bike in family because it's mainly flat. We often go biking in the Netherlands as well, as almost every national park has long bike trails.

Hugs, Sarah

Woot! You know I'm not so much into hiking for its own sake tho I did do a lot of it in my teens. What gets me out into the woods or mountains is to go climbing, for that I'll hear up and go miles in rough terrain, spend cold nights with only light summer rated gear etc.

Maybe your family needs particular motivation? Certainly the Kungsleden sounds gorgeous!

And yes, the Netherlands have huge allure for easy bike terrain, especially now as I'm so much out of shape for climbing hills :-/.

[Sarah.VanDistel]

UPDATE:

So before travelling to Hungary for my hair transplantation, I came out to the head nurse of my department. She was surprised, but accepted the fact in an incredibly natural way, saying that it's okay and I shouldn't worry about it - the whole nursing team would be fine with it. According to her, I've simply been a male doctor and I'll become a female doctor and there's nothing more about it. "It's a perfectly natural move, doctor. If you feel that you are a woman inside, why should you live as a male?" I was very happy with her reaction, needless to say.

So we agreed that she would send a very simple e-mail to the whole team during my absence, in which I simply stated that I am transgender and that I'll be fully transitionning to female in the upcoming months; I gave her two brochures in Dutch (one about transgenders at the workplace and the other with the title "Everything you always wanted to know about transgender people and never dared to ask" that will be available to whoever wants to read them (they are also available online, pdf version, for free) and Sarah's e-mail address, asking people to feel free to write to me for questions, comments, etc.

During my stay in Budapest I received three e-mails, all of them extremely accepting and assuring their full support in this journey of mine! The last one was actually from the whole team and they told me they would fully back me! Wow! They asked if they should call me Dr. Sarah as soon as I come back from vacation, but I told them that they should keep calling me by my male name until I'm done with FFS and have my name officially changed (although "Dr. Sarah" is music to my ears... [emoji5])...

So, not so slowly, this Sarah keeps coming out from her shell...

Tomorrow it's my third laser session (beard) and I hope the swelling on my face will have disappeared by then (a massive hair transplantation does that).

Thursday, it's my consultation with the maxillo-facial surgeon who will perform the lower jaw setback part of my FFS.

Can't wait to be able to use a head cover again (3 weeks) but I'll still be using a surgical cap at work because it doesn't actually touch the implanted hairs. Besides, the surgical cap feminizes my face big time... [emoji6]

Hugs, Sarah

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[sarah1972]

Amazing. You are living life in the fast lane... It was not even a 6 weeks ago and you have been scared to show Sarah to your therapist. Now look at you: Hair transplants, looking at FFS... So happy for you!

Once you let Sarah out of the box she really wants it all! (at least for this Sarah it was that way).

You could have asked to be called "Dr. Sarah" - I am far away from passing (occasional male fail) and for various reasons far away from surgery but I have asked to be called Sarah at work. You look so female already, I am sure it would be fine 

Enjoy Budapest 

[Sarah_P]

That's so great Dr. Sarah!! I'm very happy for you!
You're on such a roll, I can't imagine how exciting and gratifying that must be.

[Laurie]

 Hi Sarah,

  WOW! You can't ask for a better reception to the news than the support your workplace is showing you. Are you sure you are not part race horse? You sure seem to be going forward at a break neck speed. Don't forget to take time out to smell the roses and count your blessings, dear. Watching you emerge as that scared young lady afraid to go to a therapy session as yourself not so long ago and then sprinting off to a headlong rush has truly been wonderful to watch, Sarah.
  I hope all goes well with the hair and FFS. I think we already know how your return to work is going to go...

Hugs,
   Laurie