Hey! I've lurked a few times and learned this site and the people here are real. Thank you!!! Like most of us, I've known since I was little[5 yrs old] that I was girly. Of course I learned to hide that real quick! But I had a sister, and she had Barbies! I loved putting their clothes and shoes on [Ohh the shoes!]. Then puberty came {horror!} with what do I do with this thing. I knew I wasn't Gay, but I didn't know what was. Sex was awful. After High School I fell in love with my male best friend, that freaked me out. After about 15 yrs. I thought I must be Gay, so I tried it out. One time, nope that wasn't it. That was the mid nighties When the internet was just cranking up and information started trickling on. In the 70's there were normal people and we all know what the rest were called. I knew I was 'one of the rest' but didn't know what. On the internet I discovered Transsexuals, Bang the light went on! I've been called weird, goofy, strange and a whole lot worse, but at least I knew who I was. I've learned to hide myself pretty well, but she still leaks out some! I've even managed to get married along the way. It's been a long road, and a not so good one a lot of the way, not quite a man not quite a women. Now, late in life medical problem about killed me about 3yrs. ago. It did kill the testicles and now she has no obstacles any more! I've always felt like a fake man, but now even the fake is gone.
Now I cant hide anymore, not even from myself. I did something a few days ago that I've always wanted to do, I did my nails! I'm a ugly old man, but I have nice nails now! It's scary finally doing something I cant hide! Young people are so lucky now with the information out there. If I had known about Transsexuals in the 70's I would have transitioned long ago! It seems too late now, but maybe not. You all have helped a lot! I finally decided to register and tell someone, now to work up the nerve to tell the wife! Wish me luck!
