ok so today is the start of my 14th week of HRT, and tomorrow marks the start of the 4th month since I started on July 17th. It's been about a month now since the doctor doubled my estradial and my spiro and I really don't think I've felt any difference yet. I go back in December and I think he's going to increase my dose again, but we'll see. in my post from 10 days ago I posted about breast development but I think I jumped the gun on it, I haven't really felt anything lately. they hurt a little when I jog but that's it. I haven't been getting anymore emotional either I don't think, and honestly I haven't really felt too feminine for a little while now, just kinda neutral and that bums me out.
I've been kinda sad over the last few days because I'm sensing a disconnect between me and some of my friends. I know they're busy but I have this feeling that they're keeping their distance from me for some reason, or at least one of them is. they'll still text me and chat but anytime I ask about hanging out they make excuses. When I first came out to them they were really supportive and we'd talk about doing all this stuff and having girls nights but that never really happened. We've hung out a few times but every time I was still presenting as male. I'm still early in my transition and I want to have nights where I go out dressed as a woman but it's hard to get them to commit to anything. this transition is going to be a lot lonelier than I expected! it's weird because my male friends who know about me are still down to hang out when they can. and there's a couple guys who I heard suspect that I'm transitioning and I've noticed that they've actually been friendlier towards me! I dunno, maybe i'm overthinking things, but I'm always the one to initiate conversation, it'd just nice if someone would randomly text me and ask how I'm doing.
oh, and as for weight loss, as of thursday I was down to a solid 194, where as the weigh in before that was just a pinch under 195, a heavy 194 i guess lol. I was just thankful that I didn't gain because I haven't been eating well. I've been a little sick lately so my muscles would ache and I couldn't jog at the park, so I don't expect to be down any this week when I weigh in, but we'll see.