Anyone living stealth without FFS?

[xFreya]

At what age did you start HRT? What difficulties did you face? Any tips etc?

Unless people where I live got very polite (unlikely  )I don't get clocked on street or in short interactions. (although I feel I look unusual to some people maybe I'm being paranoid) I plan to return to university(in a few months) after mostly staying at home for a few years and I feel like my voice and some facial features will out me in longer term. I probably wouldn't face anything too terrible but I'd rather be seen as any other woman. Is it possible? I will have FFS anyway for my forehead and nose but that's probably in a year..  Maybe I should get a fringe or something 

I'm 22 and been on HRT for 1.5 years by the way.

Oh and one thing that might be to my advantage is that most people in my country aren't used to the idea of trans people in their normal daily lives.

[jfong]

I started my HRT when I was 36 and I don't have ffs either.  Some of my classmates have no clue until I told them, neither did some of my friends.

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[SashaGrace]

There are 80 staff in my workplace and none of them know I'm trans, neither do the parents of any of the kids I teach or any of my neighbours. Only my friends know because I tell them and I've not had FFS. If there's one thing I've found that helps massively it's the voice. If you can nail a feminine voice you're sorted. My HRT journey is long and complicated but I'm 23 and been on a low dose for 5 years then recently started upping it to a good level.

[Dee Marshall]

Many women have some masculine features. It's even considered attractive. Mostly I look at women my own age and many of them develop more masculine features as they age.

I think a lot of us come into this not just wanting to be the women we are inside, but wanting to be truly beautiful. That's a much harder hurdle and many cis women get there the same way we do. Surgery. Make the changes that make you happy. Don't let someone else tell you what you should or shouldn't do to your own body.

And that unfamiliarity thing? Definitely! Stealth is becoming much harder in areas educated about us.

:

April 22, 2015, the day of my first face to face pass in gender neutral clothes and no makeup. It may be months to the next one, but I'm good with that!

Being transgender is just a phase. It hardly ever starts before conception and always ends promptly at death.

They say the light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train. I say, climb aboard!

Think outside the voice box!

[xFreya]

I understand cis women have some masculine features too but if multiple things add up people might suspect, even for a cis woman. Or maybe 50 people have no clue but one person will figure it out and start gossiping. I should improve or hide some features and hope for the best.

There are 80 staff in my workplace and none of them know I'm trans, neither do the parents of any of the kids I teach or any of my neighbours. Only my friends know because I tell them and I've not had FFS. If there's one thing I've found that helps massively it's the voice. If you can nail a feminine voice you're sorted. My HRT journey is long and complicated but I'm 23 and been on a low dose for 5 years then recently started upping it to a good level.

My voice is probably passable but not too feminine. And there is always more tricky stuff like couching, sneezing, talking louder when necessary etc. I guess there's still some time to improve. 

[Sydney_NYC]

I started HRT over 3½ years ago at age 43. I haven't had any surgeries yet and no one knows unless I tell them and I'm also over 6'5". Even when I had a mammogram last October, the technician could not believe I was trans. She saw the HRT on my chart (but missed the transgender part I had written on my intake papers) and asked when my last period was and after I told her I don't have periods because of no ovaries or uterus she asked when I had a hysterectomy.

I feel like I won the genetic lottery, but there are some that need FFS, but many who do not. Voice and mannerisms also a huge factor and are just an important as the physical parts.

[LiliFee]

Sure... I'm 31 years old, on HRT for about 20 months now. I got my passing privilege after 6 months into HRT and have enjoyed it ever since. No FFS, nor do I plan on getting any.

Better yet, I'm getting lots of male attention, depending a bit on what I'm wearing and the amount of legs/cleavage I show.... Things also improved massively since I was post-op, somehow it changed how I radiate and men have started reacting even better!

In any case, being hot and passable while not having FFS is very possible

[xFreya]

I started HRT over 3½ years ago at age 43. I haven't had any surgeries yet and no one knows unless I tell them and I'm also over 6'5". Even when I had a mammogram last October, the technician could not believe I was trans. She saw the HRT on my chart (but missed the transgender part I had written on my intake papers) and asked when my last period was and after I told her I don't have periods because of no ovaries or uterus she asked when I had a hysterectomy.

I feel like I won the genetic lottery, but there are some that need FFS, but many who do not. Voice and mannerisms also a huge factor and are just an important as the physical parts.

Oh I had a lot of similar experiences. Most recently the nurse asked me whether or not I was pregnant before a pre-op X-Ray for my SRS in Thailand. For a woman who had to go through male puberty I'm doing ok too. I am more worried about people figuring it out in time.

[xFreya]

Do you girls think a masculine forehead is a big "tell"? There is a lot variation for most things but I feel like it's quite rare for cis women to have a masculine forehead.

[herekitten]

Began HRT in very early preteens.  I am now in later years, but never encountered problems because I had no FFS.  Most of the girls I have known did not have any either, while some opted for silicone facial enhancement (which I would tell anyone not to do). I have been married for quite some time so I do not get out in the world for 'dating', but I've always had highly visible jobs where much interaction with people across all professions, genders and age is necessary -- and still no problems other than simply vanity issues like the beginnings of slight crows feet, smile lines, etc... the usual stuff. I'm all for FFS though, if you want it and can afford it and if you feel it will make things easier for you.

[Barb99]

I seem to get by without FFS. I'm almost 62 and full time for going on 2 years and becoming more and more stealth as time goes on. I look at myself and feel that some people must suspect but no one says anything. So either everyone is very nice or there are things other than my face that help me pass.

Actually I believe it has a lot to do with attitude and voice training is a must. If you can get those 2 things down then some may suspect but they won't know for sure unless you tell and I don't tell.

[Stevie]

 I started HRT when I was 56 been on it a little over two years. I started a new job a year ago after I changed my name and gender on my documents.  I have not had any surgeries and I am stealth at work, hard to believe from my picture I know. I think my age helps but I think the key factor is my demeanor. Confidence and attitude go along way.
Steph

[xFreya]

Actually I believe it has a lot to do with attitude and voice training is a must. If you can get those 2 things down then some may suspect but they won't know for sure unless you tell and I don't tell.

That makes sense, ty.

[RavenMoon]

Many women have some masculine features. It's even considered attractive. Mostly I look at women my own age and many of them develop more masculine features as they age.

However, you rarely look at a cis women and can't tell it's a woman. It does happen, but it's not that common.

Some of the cues are very subtle. But it's not hard for humans to determine someone's sex by looking at their face. We are sexually dimorphic. So we evolved to recognize these features.

I can't pass even with makeup unless it's dark and people see me from a distance. Lol.

I should be getting FFS early next year. [emoji3]


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[FinallyMichelle]

I still get the same paranoia. 😊 Mostly because I get stared at a lot and I have no idea why. No matter what it's ma'am or miss so I too often wonder what's going on. Why the stares if I am not being clocked? Are they just being incredibly nice?

Anyway, it matters less and less even if it is disconcerting.

Voice and attitude. Voice is above all when you are speaking but... how many people see us in a day's time that we never speak to? There are lots of resources for voice and the attitude is just too much to go into without a great deal of time to do it.

It's more than posture or the way we walk. It's a way of fitting to the space available. Men tend to be where they are at and we fit into the empty spots. Sometime I watch large groups of people and it looks to me like someone is pouring two different size balls into a barrel. The larger balls settle in and the small ones fill in around them. I know that sounds stupid but that is the attitude. Lol 😆 Not that one thing but hundreds of tiny things just like that. In my opinion we have to view it as intangible not a thing to improve or acquire but a mindset that will slowly take over as we go along. ! IF ! We follow the examples of the other women who have been doing it their whole life.

I think for me it is other women that make me think that I pass mostly. Whether it's settling in on the seat next to me in the waiting room, a few simple comments as we are looking at the same thing in the grocery store or like happened to me at lunch today. Two young mothers at the table next to us, 5 children total. The smallest is acting up as they are getting ready to leave, the next oldest that can barely walk starts to show me what she has been coloring in her book. The mother looks at me like, "Is that okay?" I just nodded. She kinda gave me a grateful smile and continued to get all the sticky stuff off of a wriggling baby. It's just a comfort level that goes both ways that makes me think that maybe I do pass, and people are just staring because I am funny looking or something.

That is what I think transition was about for me, that attitude, the internal and not external. I didn't even know that was what I was looking for, that sense of belonging.

Lol, My 2 cents anyway. 😉

Michelle

[Julia1996]

I started hrt when I was17. I'm 19 now and I pass 100% . I have never had ffs. I thought I needed it but my Dr, my dad and the people here said I didn't need it. It seems like something miraculous but ffs doesn't mean you are guaranteed beauty. Only a more feminine face. It's a totally brutal surgery. If you don't really need it it seems like a lot of pain to endure that you don't need to go through.
Julia

[xFreya]

I started hrt when I was17. I'm 19 now and I pass 100% . I have never had ffs. I thought I needed it but my Dr, my dad and the people here said I didn't need it. It seems like something miraculous but ffs doesn't mean you are guaranteed beauty. Only a more feminine face. It's a totally brutal surgery. If you don't really need it it seems like a lot of pain to endure that you don't need to go through.
Julia

I want to undo the damage male puberty did to my face so I'll have a few procedures eventually for my own dysphoria, even if I'm not getting clocked. But all these posts give me hope that I can stay stealth before that too.

[Legit]

Do you girls think a masculine forehead is a big "tell"? There is a lot variation for most things but I feel like it's quite rare for cis women to have a masculine forehead.

it is.  this is one of the first thing i look at when looking at other womans. Supraorbital ridge bone and hairline.  Sure.. there are cis woman with badlness but its not common and cis gender hairline is built differently than male.   This is why i had forehead type 1 surgery last year and that i am getting  hair transplant surgery in 3 week to create illusion of a smaller forehead/face  and to have a female hairline shape.

[Dena]

I only had the nose corrected as it had a hump on it and the passages were restricted. I suspect my jaw is a bit on the strong side and I have a male brow but hair has covered much of the problem. It seems to be good enough because I am getting ma'am by strangers.

[xFreya]

it is.  this is one of the first thing i look at when looking at other womans. Supraorbital ridge bone and hairline.  Sure.. there are cis woman with badlness but its not common and cis gender hairline is built differently than male.   This is why i had forehead type 1 surgery last year and that i am getting  hair transplant surgery in 3 week to create illusion of a smaller forehead/face  and to have a female hairline shape.

My hairline is feminine since I started young but not young enough to avoid brow bossing. It's my biggest concern tbh.