Your birth name and what does it mean to you

[Denise]

Last night I was at a queer support group and someone mentioned that their first/birth/dead/... Name represents a lot of baggage.

Today, I received an email from myself as Denise (sent to the whole team) and I realized that when I see my new name, it's a clean slate without any history or context.  While my old name has lots of both.

I wonder if that's part of why it's taking time to get used to the new pronouns.

Opinions?

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[RavenMoon]

I think it's just what you've gotten used to. Being that I'm not even living part time yet, all I hear is my birth name. I was walking down the street once and someone was yelling at me "hey Raven!" and I didn't realize they were calling me! Lol

I'm probably going to also change my last name. So it really will be a clean slate. But I'm mainly changing it for aesthetics. Lol


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[SailorMars1994]

My old name was just a typo. As was my genitals. Both getting/got corrected. Onwards I go.

[Devlyn]

My baggage with the old name wasn't transgender related, I just wanted a completely different name so I changed everything, first, middle, and last.

Hugs, Devlyn

[Nina]

changing both first and last name was the the first meaningful thing I did to kickstart my transition. It was like ridding myself of the past.

[Kendra]

My new first name is similar to my birth name and I like that.  One thing I will miss about my birth name is it was chosen to bridge two cultures - Ken has a Kanji character and is also a western name.  My father's ancestors are Welsh, my mother is from Japan.

I am going to ask my parents to choose my middle name.  My parents shocked me last month by being genuinely accepting and supportive when I told them I am transitioning.  I wasn't expecting them to be so positive as they are both 86 and politically conservative.  My mom is excited and my dad actually likes me now.  An additional reason to avoid generalizing based on someone's political or religious beliefs.  Individuals can and do make individual decisions.

In 1963 gender wasn't generally declared before birth as is common today.  This has caused me to wonder what my parents would have named me if they had identified me as a girl when I was born.

The other reason a similar name is good in my case is I can be absent minded.  Yesterday at a coffee shop I was asked for my name so they could keep track of the order.  I hesitated, had to think about what I was wearing above the belt before answering.  Wow that felt stupid.  I am getting tired of part time - I know what I need to do. 

[Bari Jo]

My birth name is a masculized form of what my parents planned.  I'm reminded of that often, so using the feminine version is natural for me.

[rmaddy]

My parents refused to help in renaming me, and for a long time refused to use my new name.  Actually, almost no one was willing to give me input.  I ended up picking a name that meant something to me, was somewhat androgynous (for those phone conversations where I just don't have the energy to explain myself) and didn't bother my spouse as much as the rest of the list.

I've since found names that I wish I had considered, but that's what happens when you name yourself.  Coulda/woulda/shoulda.

[Charlie Nicki]

My chosen name is the female version of my male one. I like it and I am also keeping my lastname. It ties me to my family and I'm still the same person, so I don't want to get rid of it.


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[ds1987]

There is a lot of significance in both my birth name and my chosen name.  I was named Daniel at birth, which has the Hebrew meaning "God is my judge."  And Aria has a few meanings, one being "Lion of God" and another being a "long, accompanied song for a solo voice, typically one in an opera or oratorio."  I was unaware of the former meaning of Aria when I chose it, as it just fit so perfectly with my free nature, much like a songbird.  I'm not currently religious, but having been brought up in the Judeo-Christian tradition, religion has shaped a lot of who I am now.

I changed my last name a year ago, and dropped the middle name altogether, as it was my father's full name and I had already decided to separate from him and most of side of the family.  Not out of anger, but just because I knew it was time.  Now, adding my new first name completes the identity.  I don't feel any negativity related to my birth (first) name, despite their being a lot of negativity in who I was.  I only get a twinge of irritation when someone calls me by it, since I am mostly full time at this point, and most people know me as Aria.

[KathyLauren]

I am still training myself to respond to my new name and to ignore my old name.  It doesn't always work.  If someone calls my old name, I still respond like Pavlov's dogs, before I think, "Hey, wait a sec...".

I still have to train myself to catch misgendering.  I'm still in the "Did that guy just call me what I thought he did?" stage.

I have no negative feelings about my old name.  It is just the wrong gender for me.  I picked my new first and middle names based on my old ones.  I was Keith Lawrence; now I am Kathleen Lauren.  Keith is a Scottish name, and Kathleen is the Irish version of Katherine, so I retain the Celtic influence.  I think my parents would have liked my choices.

[Kylo]

My birth name has always been a strange thing to me. It never felt like it fit, and other people have said the same thing: that it never quite suited me. I hated it as a child but came to like it as an adult. I don't really have a problem with it, it's neutral in any case, but I just felt like a fresh start.

My full birth name would be pretty elegant-sounding for a woman. Maybe that's what my parents had in mind.

There is a little baggage associated with the old name which changing it might help with. But mostly I wanted to change it to something more masculine proving my seriousness about transition, and also just for a change. I've changed the whole thing, last name and middle name as well.

[HoneyStrums]

My birth name, stands as a reminder of all the pain and hurt i faced trying to live up to exspectations it placed upon me.
Its offencive to here this name use in refference to me.

That name was part of that prison i exsisted in. And also the first piece i was able to tear down. So one might be able to say, its the hole i climed out of, and one I i step around this time

[Gertrude]

My birth name is james, but everyone calls me Jim. I was named after a great grandfather that died on that day 32 years before and and uncle. If I had been a girl, my parents said they would have named me Jacqueline. At this time, Kennedy was in the White House, so I'm sure it was popular. My wife gave me the name Gertrude, but uses trudie as a nickname. My legal middle name is David. I think I will use Jacqueline. It seems as time goes on, I am beginning to resent my birth names, especially when people use them. I don't even like my wife calling me husband.


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[BeverlyAnn]

My birth name has the II (2nd) attached to it and since my father was called by the first name, I was saddled with the middle name.  Because it is so unusual, I was an instant target for bullies in school causing me to despise my name.  Plus I honestly didn't like my father one bit.  My chosen first name was what I would have been named had I been gendered correctly at birth.  My last name doesn't bother me and, in fact, I want to keep it since one of my kinfolk was a signer of the Constitution (and the first person ever impeached under the same Constitution).  LOL

[Sarah_P]

I've never really felt a connection to my birth name. It's just not me. I really don't have any positive or negative feelings about it, other than it's definitely a man's name. My middle name is the same as my father's, and I'm also going to be changing it. I still haven't decided what to use, though. I've got some normal kind of name ideas, like 'Anne' or 'Dawn', but I'm also thinking of taking it from one of my various favorite anime characters (like 'Miria' or 'Flare').
I've started debating changing my last name, too. I hadn't considered it before, but I am pretty much not a fan of any of my blood relatives. I have much more of a connection with my stepmother's family (although none of them other than my stepmother know about me just yet....).

[Colleen_definitely]

My birth name always annoyed me.  It was extremely common, so having three or four boys in the same class with the same first name was the norm.  It didn't help that my parents picked two first names that started with the same letter as my last name.  AND they are all common male first names so people have no clue what to call me.

On top of that I just never really liked it.  It always kind of felt wrong.

[widdershins]

I never really connected with my deadname. It never felt like it was "mine" in the same way my chosen name is.

I don't hate it. It was a classic, perfectly functional female name. But it wasn't the right gender, and when people use it now, it feels like I'm failing at being my gender.

[coldHeart]

My birth name just reminds me too much of a horrific child hood & my former family so I just change all of it.
I always had a crush on Sara siedle (think it spelt like that!) From CSI so choose that name.
Sara

[Ryuichi13]

I love my birth first name...on someone else.  It is a perfectly wonderful, gothy name that when I was more into the goth scene was great to have...for someone else. 

My chosen name is one that I've been called since 2004, first as a nickname when a group of friends said "you act like Sakuma Ryuichi from (the anime) Gravitation, so that's what we're going to call you, Ryuichi (or Ryu)!"  At the time I was like "*shrug* Okay."  But now, its the only name that I respond to. 

I'm not out to my parents yet, so when they call me by my dead name on phonecalls, I tend to wince and make faces during our phonecalls (they live in other states than I do.)  My Mom knows I legally changed my name, but she still calls me by my deadname, probably because its not a name she's familiar with.  My Dad has no idea I changed my name.  I suppose we should have that conversation soon.

I kept my middle initial for a reason.  I am a HUGE fan of an anime called One Piece, and in it, many significant characters all have the middle initial "D," and there's also a thing called "The Will of D."  No one knows what its supposed to mean, but the manga (comic book) artist said it does have a meaning that will be answered when the series ends.  So I thought it would be fun to have an initial and not know what it stands for.  Considering that One Piece is currently celebrating its 20th year, I probably have quite a few years before I find out what "the D" means!

I decided to keep my last name.  I've always said "I will always be a _______," and when I was married twice, I hyphenated my last name each time.  When I divorced, each time I simply dropped the hypenated name, keeping my birth last name.  Good riddance to those people, they were pretty terrible!

Ryuichi

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