Can a tall person pass after transitioning? (MTF)

[DawnOday]

I wonder if we lived in a world where trans people were accepted, would we try to fit the binary, exclusively?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

I agree Gertrude. It's a shame we choose the most shallow end. Acceptance, equal rights. confidence about how we feel. Not how we look per se. will go a lot further.
But I understand why kids might have the opposite belief.

[DawnOday]

While I thoroughly believe that we are who we are and that we make do, the comparison formula, "Well, so-and-so is tall and she's beautiful" cuts a few logical corners.  Yes, there are tall women, but being tall is only one of many things that tend to gender me male to others.  It's sort of like when my cis friends say "Hey, I got called sir once" when I tell them about it happening to me all day long.

Nobody called them beautiful because they are tall they were offered as examples of known tall women that I think the reader young and old have seen  and can relate. As stated one is a tennis champion multiple times and in the era of Serena and Venus all the more impressive. The other is a 3 time olympian champion I believe but that really is not important. It is their visibility. For COMPARISON. See? ... there are CIS women you are as tall as. I know as someone whom herself is 6'3" that it is comforting, because while rare does not make me a freak in the general public. So much easier to pass if you have the confidence you fit in.

[rmaddy]

Nobody called them beautiful because they are tall they were offered as examples of known tall women that I think the reader young and old have seen  and can relate. As stated one is a tennis champion multiple times and in the era of Serena and Venus all the more impressive. The other is a 3 time olympian champion I believe but that really is not important. It is their visibility. For COMPARISON. See? ... there are CIS women you are as tall as. I know as someone whom herself is 6'3" that it is comforting, because while rare does not make me a freak in the general public. So much easier to pass if you have the confidence you fit in.

Passing is, contrary to the prevailing wisdom here, more something that happens than something you do.  Take Serena or Venus.  Perhaps the eye is first drawn to the fact that they are tall or strong, but waiting behind these characteristics are literary hundreds of cues that they are female, whereas for the average transwoman, even one who has been out for quite some time, there are hundreds of cues shouting male.  You can spend a lifetime trying to snuff them all and you will never succeed.



If you've read my posts before, you will know that I don't think that very many transpeople really do pass, or here's the important bit...should try to do so very much.  It's mostly privilege, like being smart, pretty or anything else desirable.  Not passing doesn't make one an ounce less a woman (triple negative, for those counting).

No arguing that confidence is a virtue of course, so long as it's tempered by competence, modesty, etc.

[DawnOday]

Truth be told, passing is a vanity trait not a practical goal. Having acceptance as a human being, with human rights to equality. We are not seeking special treatment but equality and acceptance If someone thinks I pass, all the better. But I still look for cue's that we fit in. I am not looking for an argument. I could reference Suzy Smith but the person reading the post would go Suzy who? I was merely pointing out that CIS women can be tall. That was the comparison height, not beauty, not femininity. These examples happened to be well known sport performers. I will never pass but if I happen to stand next to Gabriel Reese we will be the same size, so from a distance... If I really want to fit in I would practice my gestures, speech, style, hair, makeup. The question is, can a tall person pass. Not a beautiful person not an ugly person, not a feminine person. A tall person and if you put in the work and you have confidence in yourself you stand a better chance of putting it all together. I hope I have explained myself to your satisfaction. I didn't plan on starting a debate. That's my problem when I try to explain myself, I step in it.

[Ashley3]

...
If you've read my posts before, you will know that I don't think that very many transpeople really do pass, or here's the important bit...should try to do so very much.  It's mostly privilege, like being smart, pretty or anything else desirable.  Not passing doesn't make one an ounce less a woman (triple negative, for those counting).

No arguing that confidence is a virtue of course, so long as it's tempered by competence, modesty, etc.

I haven't read all of your posts but I feel agreement with what you're summarizing here.

I'll only add that for myself it's important to remember there was a time not long ago when trans-women had to pass to survive or stay out of jail. Literally there were places in the U.S. where a genetic male could end up in jail for wearing a dress—silly by today's standards if not generally. Today we can have rmaddy's latitude openly but that wasn't always the case.

I'm fairly certain passing will be difficult for me generally. There's just size and voice issues that actually become hugely more permanent and ingrained when transitioning later in life, if not earlier anyway. That doesn't change the fact that I feel more comfortable when I make strides in improving my passability.

Improving passability, or having levels of passability is a very real thing. Like the gender spectrum, improvements in passability matter (to some, including me) which means efforts to pass—or to learn why one doesn't pass—can matter. (I stress 'can' because it depends on who any one person is... for some it may not matter, more power to them.)

Even without 100% passability, I'm able to function more fully as my feminine self given the efforts I've taken and want to continue to take. So I work on my voice, improve aesthetics, and all that. I figure if I either reach a point of being settled, or continue to make strides, it's truly all good... doing one's best here matters, it counts.  At least for me.

As this journey of mine continues, and I find such gained comfort from feminizing steps has me wondering if there isn't some sort of optimum set of limitations that will leave me appreciating those limitations. At the end of the day, I only have one me, just as each of us has only one of ourselves... it seems there must be joy in us really appreciating exactly who we are, including limitations in the efforts to fully pass.

[mako9802]

Yes...

[MeTony]

My cis-friend is 6'1. She is femme and very attractive. The height is not a problem, if you present as female, you are female. No matter height.