Well..... crud. Got turned down for the job I interviewed for. Which is actually OK, since it was only part time (20 hours, with a possibility of more).
Now, the job I really wanted, they did want to hire me. There's just the major problem of the starting salary being significantly less than I'm making now. I just couldn't possibly get by with the higher cost of living in that area. Not to mention never being able to save anything for SRS. The job included full medical insurance, but it won't cover it.
So I'm a upset, but not depressed. I've still got an application in for an IT job that I have hopes for, but I've now got plans if that falls through, too. I've come to the conclusion that I may have judged this town I live in too harshly. I still want to get out of here, since I'm tired of living so far from civilization, but I can deal with it for now.
I was already leaning this direction, but coming out to the last of my coworkers today, and having them being happy & accepting of me, has made me realize how much I have here. I have people that care for me, I have a good stable job where I'm needed, trusted (I have a key!), and appreciated. I even make enough to squirrel away a small chunk of change every month, especially if I cut out unnecessary expenses (still not enough to afford SRS anytime in the next 7 years though). We even got a decent raise this year, which is our first raise in over 5 years.
So next week I'm talking to our library board, and letting them know about my transition. Like my coworkers today, I wouldn't be surprised if a few of them already figured it out. Then, maybe even the very next day, I will start living as Sarah full time. Is it a risk? Yeah, but isn't that true anywhere? There was a trans woman living here a few years ago, and she never came to harm. Was she mocked behind her back? Oh, yes. If that's the worst thing I face, I'm OK with it.
The only catch is my current living situation. As I said before, my friends I live with are fine with me being Sarah except around the grandkids. This could result in my either having to disguise myself only when they're around, or just avoid them. Neither of those options are good or sustainable. So, I'll have to move out. Hopefully I can find some place to move that's not too expensive & not in a bad area. My hope is that they'll still let me live there long enough to get the legal name/gender marker change (or at least try...). It'll be so much easier finding a place (& job hunting, for that matter) with that done. Of course, it's highly likely that once I'm full-time those grandkids are going to see me as Sarah anyway, whether I move out or not, so they'll have to deal with it then. Plus moving out means I (should) have my own kitchen again, and I can use my desk (it's solid wood, and way to heavy to lug upstairs where I'm staying) and my couch (no room even if we could get it up the stairs) again!
So... yeah. I'm not letting this get me down. I'm moving forward however I can. I'm working on my coding skills (and really need to double-down on the time I'm spending on this!), and maybe I can eventually find a web development job or something in the next year. Meanwhile I'll still keep my eyes open for opportunities.
