Buying "Starter" clothes...

[Megan.]

Really happy for you,  and be warned the urge to shop never leaves [emoji16]

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[Sarah_P]

That's great!! Yes, the urge to shop is incredibly infectious! 
I like that dress. I've always been a fan of the cold-shoulder styles. I remember back in March, I was walking around a mall killing time while my phone was repaired, and walked by Nordstrom. There was a gorgeous blouse in the window I would have killed for (probably would have had to, since it's Nordstrom & probably cost $300). I stopped and just stared, even though this was back before I decided to transition (it was already in my head, though). I still think about that blouse... (I never could find it on their website).

Anyway, don't ever forget that moment when you looked in the mirror! If you ever start doubting yourself, just remember that wonderful feeling & tell yourself that you CAN do this!

[Dani2118]

I was in Wal-mart today and the clearances were everywhere! Now I understand  shopping is FUN! It sounds like the bug has already bit you to.

[CarlyMcx]

Here is the hot tip for wigs: Every year for the whole month of October, Wigs.com has a half price sale on Louis Ferre wigs.  You will still have to pay $140.00 for what would be a $280.00 wig, but those high quality synthetic wigs with all that thick hair will make you feel feminine like nothing else will.  I have my own hair now but back in the day I just loved my two Louis Ferre wigs.

[Roll]

I have always had zero desire to shop for male clothes other than a few t-shirts to nerd out over (I love me some superhero shirts ). Yet I spent hours yesterday just looking through online stores at everything they had for women, and if not for knowing I'm midst active weight loss so no telling what will fit in a few months, I probably would have broken down and started ordering. If I wind up at Target with my sister before I come out and have to sit on the sidelines and watch her having fun going through all the clothes (has happened a few times) at this point I think I'll probably just cry.

Thanks for the wig tip Carly! I'm definitely dissatisfied with the cheap thing I got. It doesn't really match the picture on the site(a few reviews warned of this, but it was the only "non-weird" option), doesn't sit anywhere near flat enough against head making my head look gigantic, and just doesn't feel right. $140 is a lot but I might go for it, since I'll definitely need one for a while anyway. I'm now a bit terrified that I won't get the desired effects from hair growth regimen (particularly since my mom was naturally thin on top, I don't think the male pattern "cures" will do much for that), meaning that I'll need transplants. Considering I'd have to wait for whatever effects are going to happen from the meds first, even if I did transplants at the earliest opportunity that puts me probably two years or so out from having my own hair even start to grow out.

The clothes just make me feel so real, and then the wig just makes me feel so fake.

[RobynTx]

It really really helps to have a friend to go shopping with that knows you are wanting to transition.  I don't know your background or anything but if you have someone to talk to then it's worth it.  I'm very lucky that my wife has been supportive of me in my transition.  We have gone shopping together in stores and I've had a blast.  My wardrobe is practically nothing so I have a lots of needs.  I still want some dresses and skirts, don't have any of those yet.  But yeah the infection to shop gets really bad once you start.

[Lyric]

Second, does anyone know any good sites that offer crash courses in women's clothing?

You remind me that I've been meaning for a long time to create something like that. I've got some time for that sort of thing so maybe I will. Meanwhile, I've put a huge amount of thought into the subject and I'll give you a few very choice tips.

First of all, forget the "adult" stores and anything else catering to the crossdresser unless you want to walk down the street virtually screaming "hey, I'm a crossdresser". The typical beginner's mistake is to quickly buy a bunch of CD cliche clothing that you'd be best never leaving the house wearing. There are some things cis-women can wear well enough that just don't work for those of us with any fairly masculine features. I'd say avoid these cliches: animal prints, fishnets, oversized bras/forms, stiletto heels and anything else you commonly see on crossdressers.

And as for hair, well, the ideal thing would be to grow out your own lush and beautiful hair and groom it in a wonderful feminine style. Hair is at once the most noticeable aspect of of a person and the most under-attended by beginning crossdressers. It is very difficult to choose, fit and style a wig so that it looks both convincing and good on you. While it's possible to look OK in an inexpensive wig, in my observation it rarely happens. Be prepared to spend more on a wig than any other piece of your wardrobe.

As for what TO wear, in assembling my wardrobe I employ the expertise of the most expensive fashion consultants in the world-- without spending a cent. I have a daily habit of scrutinizing the "fashion page" websites for the latest street clothes worn by celebrities. These people are all dressed by top professionals. Pick a celeb with a look that suits you and follow them. It's not hard to find inexpensive substitutes for most designer fashions (fashions are not copyrightable). I'll give you a couple of hints from years of doing this. Black is the most reliable color staple. Black and white are the most commonly worn colors. Other shades are used sparingly or for special effect. Dress to suit the occasion. Don't wear a dress to where everyone wears jeans. Teach yourself makeup just one thing at a time (like eye shadow or lips, for instance).

[KathyLauren]

One of the best ways to learn about clothing is to people-watch.  Any time you are in a public place - mall, airport, coffee shop, walking down the sidewalk - note what other women are wearing.  Pay particular attention to combinations, both the choice of garments and the colours.  Note what works and what doesn't, and what styles you like or don't.

When you start buying clothes, start out with a few versatile items.  One of my first purchases was a basic black skirt.  It goes with anything!  I got it for $6 at a clearance store.    I like to buy colourful clothes, and am automatically drawn to colour, but I also pay attention to versatility. 

[Roll]

First of all, forget the "adult" stores and anything else catering to the crossdresser unless you want to walk down the street virtually screaming "hey, I'm a crossdresser". The typical beginner's mistake is to quickly buy a bunch of CD cliche clothing that you'd be best never leaving the house wearing. There are some things cis-women can wear well enough that just don't work for those of us with any fairly masculine features. I'd say avoid these cliches: animal prints, fishnets, oversized bras/forms, stiletto heels and anything else you commonly see on crossdressers.

I've never liked the look of the overexaggerated styles like those. (Or heavy makeup for that matter.) It is one of the reasons I knew I was never simply a crossdresser, as I've always wanted a simple feminine look rather than being that person in a movie who walks into a room that turns everyone's heads with their short glittery dress, disproportionate breasts, and unnatural level of sway--be they drag queen or cis-woman (you see it a lot with the depiction of women who the entertainment industry declare as "cougar" status I feel). (Which isn't to say that is a negative thing for those who do enjoy that look, and certainly many drag queens/crossdressers look like they have a lot of fun doing it, it's just not me.)

I was actually a little worried about the dress I ordered in this regard, but it was a price/size available thing and beggars can't be choosers. Turns out the real deal is a lot more down-to-earth (at least on me) than even the walmart model picture, which I liked.

[DawnOday]

Very sexy clothes, at a good price. Often better than 2nd hand. They now have plus size. Most the best stuff is size 16 and under. I think this place is pretty fashion forward. http://www.venus.com/clearance.aspx   Here is an idea of what they have  http://www.venus.com/sale.aspx?BRANCH=7~63~

Only an example not an endorsement.

[Sarah_P]

For a lower-cost wig that still looks very good, there's always Amazon. My wig (see current avatar) is by Blonde Unicorn, it's 50/50 real hair/synthetic, and was $70. However, it ships from china, so it took almost a month to show up.

[Roll]

Couldn't get a good full body shot, but I got at least an upper torso selfie I felt like posting where you can see a whole lot of none of the dress and overall look I really wanted to capture. I haven't had a chance to do makeup yet, so cheated and just photoshopped a faceapp image over my unshaven face since that was embarrassing to post. (Hence the letters across my chin that I gave up trying to edit out. ) The lipsticks mine though! Still in shock that that's basically just my face with no visilble beard and eyebrows done with light makeup.

The wig looks a bit better in this picture than in person because I finagled the angle some, but it's just plain too much hair and it's near impossible to get rid of the severe bed head look with it. Had to try to undo some of what faceapp did, but it looks okayish.

[Megan.]

That's a lovely picture,  and I think that hair style and tone really suit you. X

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[elkie-t]

In my experience, a wig is one of those things that must be purchased in store. Apart from how it looks in the picture, it is even more important how it frames your face and how it feels on your head. IDK, I never had any luck with online-bought wigs. All of them went into the trash after one or max two attempts to go out wearing them.

On opposite, a cheap wig ($30) from a wig store serving black women located in local 'ghetto' served me very well for half a year on a daily basis. More importantly, when I tried it - I immediately saw my female reflection, not some dude in a wig. We clicked, so to speak.


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[Roll]

In my experience, a wig is one of those things that must be purchased in store. Apart from how it looks in the picture, it is even more important how it frames your face and how it feels on your head. IDK, I never had any luck with online-bought wigs. All of them went into the trash after one or max two attempts to go out wearing them.

On opposite, a cheap wig ($30) from a wig store serving black women located in local 'ghetto' served me very well for half a year on a daily basis. More importantly, when I tried it - I immediately saw my female reflection, not some dude in a wig. We clicked, so to speak.

I think that might be my first in-person purchase once I am to the point I am brave enough to go outside and can make it to somewhere logistically, because I think you are right. With clothes online I can do research, read reviews, and generally make educated purchases, but that same level of data isn't there for cheaper wigs. I have a problem in that my head circumference is above average, which I think is why the few wigs I've worn do make my head look huge (since they are made to volumize the average person's head, and volumizing an already slightly larger head is noticable). Not to mention how low the bangs hang on my forehead (which if I'm covering up my entire male hairline, the wig is too far forward to begin with making the bangs even lower than intended). The picture I posted for the wig I have doesn't look bad in this respect, but there is a reason I'm tilting m head to the side, so the stupid bangs don't hang straight down over my eyes. I'm considering trimming them, but I don't want to accidentally do irreparable damage when it's my only wig.

[elkie-t]

I think that might be my first in-person purchase once I am to the point I am brave enough to go outside and can make it to somewhere logistically, because I think you are right. With clothes online I can do research, read reviews, and generally make educated purchases, but that same level of data isn't there for cheaper wigs. I have a problem in that my head circumference is above average, which I think is why the few wigs I've worn do make my head look huge (since they are made to volumize the average person's head, and volumizing an already slightly larger head is noticable). Not to mention how low the bangs hang on my forehead (which if I'm covering up my entire male hairline, the wig is too far forward to begin with making the bangs even lower than intended). The picture I posted for the wig I have doesn't look bad in this respect, but there is a reason I'm tilting m head to the side, so the stupid bangs don't hang straight down over my eyes. I'm considering trimming them, but I don't want to accidentally do irreparable damage when it's my only wig.

Headscarf works before you buy a wig, or instead of one.


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[Artesia]

I  found a place when I moved closer to family.  It is called Rainbow Shop, or something close to it.  Rainbowshops.com is their website.  Decent prices, and some nice clothing, some odd choices too.  Includes plus sizes, and the shop in Merrillville Indiana was trans friendly, at least to me.  I found a dress that I plan on getting when I get a job that costs $25.  They had a $5 clearance rack of nice stuff too.  Haven't done a full quality check of the stuff yet, but the first once over seemed to be close to Walmart quality.

[Roll]

(I'm just sort of using this thread as my random personal thread for now. )

Sqqqquuuuuuueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! (That's a sound right?) I got more clothes in! Made an outfit with a cute top and some jeggings. (I know jeggings aren't exactly high fashion, but I wanted the jeans look and didn't trust online ordering for sizing, particularly with male body shape. So figured go for the stretchy jeans illusion!) Unfortunately the top shows off my clearly male-who-has-been-exercising looking biceps a little too much, which I don't like (the sleeve on the dress covered them more than I realized), but still looks good overall. Also a tried a new cheap wig just to check the style, a bit shorter, just under shoulder length. Looks nice but when combined with the top's bicep issue definitely doesn't help my shoulder presentation. Goes much better with the dress which doesn't suffer from the shoulder/upper arm issue. Most exciting for me however is I picked up a cute and amazingly comfortable chemise, because I've learned that dressing as I want really helps me relax and go to sleep easier than I ever had before. But as I don't want to ruin my other clothes sleeping in them, figured I should get something appropriate.

Also got some makeup I'm going to really delve into tonight and see what I can do.

But most importantly this has all lead to something pretty integral to my evolution during the past two months... I'm going to dress for my next therapist appointment. It's online so I won't be venturing through waiting rooms or anything, but just the idea of wearing my clothes in a situation where someone else can see me and I don't have to wonder if they will be accepting or judgmental is just amazingly exciting. Gonna try to nail at least covering up the beard shadow and some basic makeup before then.

[Sarah_P]

I love getting new clothes. Even if I buy them in a store, it's just as exciting to take them out when I get home!
Seeing my therapist was also the first time I was dressed around anyone else, too. Mine was an in person visit, and I was so worried that I just drove to see her, then immediately went back home after, no stops anywhere else.
Good luck with the makeup!

[Gorgy_Love]

Hi Roll! I frequent these forums quite often (MtF 20 yr old here) and oddly enough this post inspired me to make an account so I hope my advice can help a bit. So firstly idk if it was mentioned here but how old are you if you're comfortable revealing that?

So my advice is you should look into clothing styles and find inspiration you don't have to force your style into a category but frequent instagram tumblr youtube blogs etc. take quizes and find what style you relate to. Are you more into bohemian, grunge, hipster, casual/comfy and then you can start to try out different styles and mix and match. Who says you can't wear ripped black jeans with a floral top? (That might look like a hot mess though but fashion is what makes you feel good) Also I know it can be hard at first I ran into the problem where I would look for fashion inspiration and compare myself to cis women but if you run into that it Will get easier.

Sizing. So it's good to read up on male to female conversion (mind you places will differ) but as a general starter point for tops and shirts you have to gauge how the clothing looks and go a size or two up meaning in men's shirts if you wear a small and you see a womans top go for a medium if it looks small in person or pictures don't hesitate to go to a large or xl. A lot of the time I have to wear women's XL tops simply because my shoulders. Jeans don't go by the actual waist size it's about a 20 difference starting from 29,30. By that I mean ok I used to work at this store called Plato's Closet you should look into it if theres one nearby super super cheap used clothes but a lot of hidden gems. Generally a womens 0-24   1/2-25/26  3/4-27 5/6-28 7/8-29 9/10-30/31 and those are all give or take depending on brands which you'll become familiar with over time. In general Forever 21 clothes run small I believe american eagle runs smaller than hollister abercrombie runs small too. Some pretty good brand name places I've found gap and old navy to be pretty good with sizes and ofc shopping at certain places have more of a certain style. Aeropostale tends to be for younger teens then there's pacsun which is more west coast style. In my opinion and from my girl friends target tends to be more trendy than wal-mart but wal-mart I believe is cheaper. As far as shoes go typically theres about a 2 size difference between mens shoes. I.E. a men's 5 womens 7 and so on so if you're like me men's 11 well you do the math :p. Though if you really experiment you can find some exceptions in the majority of female shoes I would have to go size 12/13 but in quite a few shoes I've tried on in target I can fit into a size 11 women's so target really has been a godsend. You also might run into the problem with women's jeans of your feet not being able to fit through the jean/jegging whole sadly with that you either have to look for a different cut at the bottom or just look for a stretchier pair or do the wiggle dance to force yourself in.

Sorry for the looong post but if you wanna talk or have any questions that I could maybe help with feel free to ask!