New Surgeon Sucks!- Do I have Options?

[SadieBlake]

I'm sorry... in my personal case, I kindly must disagree with you. I am not happy with the anatomy I have.

Jessi, I wasn't questioning that, I took 20 years to get to GCS and I wish it could have been faster but I was making the decisions also.

All I meant was that you can change your gender without having had surgery. In CA all you need is a physician writing a letter that you've had appropriate treatment. You don't have to say what it was even.

Also to what you wrote above, you don't have to redo HRT or RLE. The year you've done should count.

I don't disagree that your situation sucks. By the sound of it your HMO has setup policies to make it relatively difficult to get to GCS and I still think your fastest route will be to get better insurance.

[Jessica Lynne]

I even told her that when I was a child I had tried to cut it off, and dreamed of being a girl. Her response was simply I feel all little boys go through that fantasy at some point in their childhood.

She is delusional if she told you that. She obviously has an anti-trans agenda. It would be a cold day in hell before she touched me...ever. 10,000-12,000 dollars will get you an excellent Thai Surgeon, Airfare, food and lodging. My suggestion is to be patient, save, save, save and you'll find yourself in a position to have the best possible outcome sooner than you think. Do you really want this woman laying hands on you? Have you asked her for references to others that have used her services? I'm really concerned you'll eventually get your way with this person and end up forever sorry.

[rmaddy]

At this point it sounds like your options are:

1.  Take the four stage.  I agree it sounds nuts, but you'll get where you want--eventually.
2.  Consider your options overseas.  Thailand is less expensive, although you will be entirely out of pocket.

I'm sorry that you have been given such poor choices.  You'll need to find your own way forward.

[jessilynn]

At this point it sounds like your options are:

1.  Take the four stage.  I agree it sounds nuts, but you'll get where you want--eventually.
2.  Consider your options overseas.  Thailand is less expensive, although you will be entirely out of pocket.

I'm sorry that you have been given such poor choices.  You'll need to find your own way forward.

I am NOT taking that 4 step. Because the clitoroplasty will be the last surgery. And that is simply to make the vagina LOOK anatomically correct and serves no function. The nerve endings will not be used for the clit.

Sorry, but I want to experience sex WITH my fiance when I am a woman... like AS a woman. I dont want to like just lay there and not feel anything. I dont want to be a robot

[rmaddy]

Ok, so you know what you gotta do then.  Best of luck.  We support you.

[jessilynn]

Hey ladies, thanks for all the help... But here's the situation;

My transitions team didnt work quick enough. I was reassigned my old crappy doctor. I was to the point where I was unable to speak to anyone about getting a new surgeon, because I was on a hold for that stuff.

I just got my last blood test. I didn't know it was going to be my last. Estradiol was a little low, and my testosterone levels were a little high... my primary care physician stepped in on this oprotunity and he halted my estrogen refills. I have no estrogen left, and I have about 8-9 spironolactone left (he wont re prescribe that because he "does not give that to male members under any circumstances because it supresses testosterone" and he for SURE will not be prescribing the estradiol). I am going on 8 days without it right now (I was suppose to have it mailed but they wont now)

So my testosterone levels are creeping back up, and my estradiol levels are going down. AND I CAN FEEL IT! I am actually starting to have estradiol withdrawl symptoms; Headaches/ migraines, nausea, lethargy, cold sweats, night sweats...

my main point in posting this is to say;
Thanks for all the support and help, but it seems as if it was all for naught. I bid you all a merry thanks, and farewell. Any trans person I know I will send them here, because all of you have been... SO helpful. And just in general supportive when I needed it.
Good bye everyone, thanks so much for all the support! ❤❤❤❤

[Jessica Lynne]

Good luck Jessi. Where there's a will, there's a way. Start to look into implied consent. Whomever your Doctors were, you don't want or need them.  If you want this life,  you will have it. You are very young and life is long. Good luck and be well.

[jessilynn]

Good luck Jessi. Where there's a will, there's a way. Start to look into implied consent. Whomever your Doctors were, you don't want or need them.  If you want this life,  you will have it. You are very young and life is long. Good luck and be well.

I dont know how all of that works... but my will seems to have waned and become nothing... I LITTERALLY have no more energy to fight as of right now.


I actually will be calling the suicide prevention hotline tonight. And asking about counsellors in my area


It just sucks 19 months on hormones... and it's all come crashing down.

[Jessica Lynne]

I'm sorry, I meant informed consent. Start by calling Planned Parenthood or better yet going in. If they can't help in your area, ask them for direction. If they can't help you. Get on the phone and start calling Endocrinologists and asking if they'll prescribe based on informed consent. If they won't?  Ask for direction. KEEP ASKING FOR DIRECTION. The forces of the Universe will give you what you want when they realize you won't settle for anything else. That's how life works. There's time for suicide later. You don't want to die, you want to live as Jessilyn. Go figure out how that will happen. Do you want it? Then do the work and it will happen. But not by itself. The Universe has stopped these butchers from ruining your life. Now the ball is in your court to restart in a productive way. GO GET WHAT YOU WANT AND DESERVE. you owe it to yourself and those who love you and need you in your world. Put that cute avatar of you back up, pull your big girl panties on and get to work getting what you want. It will not fall into your lap by crying or hoping. Plan your work and work your plan. We're all here for you. Don't abandon that. We can't help if you quit.  GO GIRL!!!!!!

[Dena]

At this point, don't give up. I checked your location in an earlier post and there should be a wealth of resources in your area. Tell us what you need and we will help you track down what you need. This is just a temporary set back and given a little time, it can be overcome.

[AutumnLeaves]

That's what got this lady questioning me. That's why she asked if it was a fetish, or if it was a "crossdresser fantasy" She now has it marked in my file I am a crossdresser/ transvestite. I found that out a little less than an hour ago.
AND I find that I might not be able to get it for that reason. I am NOT a transvestite, nor do I want to BE one. (no offense to the individual who is one here. that's just NOT me) I have severe dysphoria with my body, I've told her that... I just want to be like any normal human and be able to experience sex. Apparently she just wants it to "look correct" not giving two donuts about functionality. But that makes me a fetishist. :,(


yeah I got fetishes, but my gender aint one of them.

I have to wonder if maybe you aren't misinterpreting what you've been told since some of this does not make sense. I searched for SRS surgeons in California, and found only one female surgeon that sort of fits the description you gave. Her website lists penile inversion, with the potential for a second surgery some time later for cosmetic correction. The "four steps" you list sound like four steps in the same operation, not four separate surgeries. Since some of the same tissue needed to create the vagina as is used to create the labia, not sure how they would divide that into several surgeries anyway. Also, standards of care these days more less dictate the attempt to create a sensitive clitoris; nobody would go to a surgeon who openly stated they didn't care about sensation. I cannot imagine any insurance company financing something so out of step with normal transgender care, especially since four operations would cost them WAY more, what with the repeated anesthesia and hospital stays, and of course they care a bunch about their bottom line. It's also hard to imagine a surgeon officially diagnosing somebody as a "tranvestite/crossdresser" after a brief meeting, or really at all since it's not in their scope of practice.

Also, any doctor can write estrogen prescriptions. Why did your endocrinologist not refill your meds, if the GP would not? I searched online for the laws in California about gender change on official documents, and it says you just need a note from the doctor saying you've undergone "clinically appropriate treatment." What that "treatment" is is up to their discretion, and surgery is not required. As such, insurance should not be able to change your gender marker back and forth at their whims. No one can force you to detransition.

I'm not entirely sure what is going on here, but at the very least I would recommend going somewhere like Planned Parenthood for your hormones and getting a note to get your driver's license updated, if you have not already. You can take hormones forever and change all your documents, and live as the woman you are, until the surgery thing gets sorted out. I hope you are continuing to get counseling as well since it sounds like you're dealing with a lot.

Good luck!