Girl Harbor DayDecember, 7th, 2017
A date which will live in infamy...
Preface: I wrote about my trip for waterproof mascara and eyeliner yesterday, so I thought I'd give it a try last night. I ended up wearing it to bed as a test...
Our story starts out early, as usual, with a spiro-induced trip to the ladies room, after which I lay awake, thinking about the upcoming day. What would I tell the judge when she asked, as I'd been told to expect, "What is the reason for changing your name?" Many different things went through my noggin, from the simplest recommended, "It fits me better," to long involved explanations that nobody wanted to sit through. I got myself worked up until I induced ocular leakage, and finally decided on, "It's appropriate - it's
necessary - for me to finally... finally just
be. Satisfied, I dropped back off to sleep.
Up earlier than usual to give myself plenty of time to get ready. Looked in the mirror, and saw a cross between Rocky Raccoon and Tammy Faye Bakker. So much for waterproof eyeliner...
With the advice of friends in person and here on Susan's, I'd picked out a black dress, a pearl necklace and earrings (of course), my favorite brooch of an airplane skywriting a heart, and two-inch pumps. As I finished getting dressed, the first of my entourage
arrived.My new friend Cassandra got up extra early to drive an hour here so she could give me moral support. I met her at an Orlando support group meeting, and we hit it off right away, and have become good friends since. Next, my Mom and her hubby arrived, followed by my friends Delores and Bonnie. My neighbors J and D were going to meet us at the courthouse. Including my wife, that meant I had eight people in my posse.
The courthouse is 10 minutes from home, so we drove over at 8:30 for the 9:00 appointment. Unlike some pictures I've seen (like Kendra's), there's no way to get pictures outside the courtroom, because all electronic devices of any kind are banned from the building. I set off the alarm in the metal detector, so got wanded by the deputy (must have been the brooch or necklace), with no indication of anything unusual (yay!). The deputy running the x-ray scanner joked that he had a button to make the magnetic detector beep so the other deputy with the wand would have something to do once in a while. Up to the second floor, and checked in with the bailiff (just using the last name). Apparently you wait outside the courtroom and each case is called in individually, so the only people in the room would be myself, family, and friends. After waiting a while, the bailiff came back out and called for Stephanie Bxxx, and explained where I would be sitting, where the rest of the peanut gallery would go (sitting in the gallery behind me), and to address the magistrate with
yes ma'am,
no ma'am, and
your honor. A few minutes later the previous occupants walked out, the bailiff called for Stephanie Bxxx again, and in we went.
Our host was a very sweet lady who welcomed us all in, asked my current name and address, and checked all the paperwork I'd submitted electronically on the screen next to her (petition, social security card, birth certificate, fingerprints, and notarized affidavit of residency). She asked a bunch of questions about convictions (convicted? No... never convicted. Just kidding...), bankruptcies, liens, etc. I've lived a pretty boring life, so there was nothing to report. We talked a bit about the fact that my parents had put "Steve R" on my social security card instead of the Stephen Richard I'd used on all other legal paperwork. No problems there. She explained what would happen next: Since she's a magistrate, she has to turn the paperwork over to a judge who reviews and signs it, finishes the report, and sends it to me via snail-mail in two stamped envelopes I had to supply. She also said there would be a 10-day waiting period where I could take the opportunity to contest the ruling - unless I chose to waive it. We both smiled and laughed when I told her I would definitely be waiving that right. She said the judge would probably be reviewing cases this afternoon, and would get them in the mail tomorrow or the next day. The bailiff had me initial and sign my current name to a document, collected the envelopes from my wife, and we were done. Just like that. Never even got asked "why."
As the bailiff ushered us out, I looked back and saw that my neighbor D had gone up to the magistrate's dais and was smiling and laughing with her. It turns out that her honor had never had that many people accompany a petitioner before, and was amazed by the support team who'd come with me. I was, too...
It was a cool rainy morning in Florida as we walked out, but I felt pretty warm with all that love surrounding me.
We had been wanting to find a place we could all go to brunch, preferably one that served mimosas. No such luck in this part o' Florida. So despite the fact that I was way overdressed for the place, we decided to go to one of the greasy spoons here in town. And wow, am I ever glad we did.
Our waiter Jason was awesome. We had a great breakfast, with Jason taking pictures of us all and joining in the fun. That's why it was strange when he started clearing the table as soon as plates were emptied, and apologized for starting to reset the table with napkins, clean plates, and silverware while we were still sitting there. It seemed kind of rude... until he came out with a cake that said, "Congratulation Stephanie" on it. Everyone at the table yelled "Congratulations Stephanie!" and everyone in the whole restaurant applauded. That's when the ocular plumbing started oozing again. When Bonnie had left the table earlier to "use the ladies room" she'd actually gone to the kitchen and talked to the manager about coming up with a cake. He pulled one out and decorated it while we ate. Wow. Just wow...
After a few more pictures by Jason (and
with Jason) we got ready to leave. He congratulated me privately, and let me know that he knew what we were celebrating, and not only did he think it was cool, but that Darrell, the owner of the restaurant (and the other 13 or so restaurants in the chain here in Florida) was his husband.
Most of us went back to my hacienda and took some more pictures. Cassie had never been here before, so I showed her around my shop and hangar, and after some more socializing, everyone departed for home. After I took Maggie for a long walk while thinking about the day, I spent the rest of the afternoon studying the inside of my eyelids with a well-earned overdue nap.
So... I still don't have the final paperwork, but it's in process. I expect to see it on Monday or Tuesday. Then I need to get it to my endo so she'll write the "appropriate clinical treatment" letter for the gender marker change, and then it's off to social security. After two days for the data to percolate through the system, I go to the DMV and get the registrations changed on my vehicles, and a new drivers license.
Thank you to great family and friends. That includes you all here on Susan's.
Stephanie Rhapsody Bensinger (pending)
Here are some memories:
Surprise Cake
The Entourage
Jason Photobomb
Happy Steph
Stephanie and Cassie
Stephanie and Sue
Stephanie and Mom and Hubby
