The Stephanie Chronicles

[Jayne01]

So let's see: Getting lots of loving and helpful advice from dear friends; moving forward on GCS; being correctly named and gendered by two neighbors and getting by with my voice while being introduced to a stranger; rockin' my new airplane earrings (haven't mentioned them yet, have I?); digging my new skinny jeans; navigating a social situation successfully; dealing with a full restroom; being welcomed once again as just another part of our extended family in the neighborhood; engaging with neighbors about feminizing myself. Oh, and being deputized to slap some sense into Laurie if needed. I think that qualifies as a pretty successful day.

Kinda puts Sunday's meltdown in the rearview mirror...

Stephanie

Hiya Steph! Well, I'm not sure how I can add to this. You have summarised it all up pretty well. I am very happy you have had such a good day. You are just going about living your life being you. Your constant thoughts of gender are starting to take a back seat and you are just living a normal life. That is awesome! You've done it! You are Stephanie, just another one of the girls. What remains can be classified as logistics, just processes you need to go through. The hard part is done, you have accepted and believe in yourself.

There is only one problem I see with what you have posted. You know I love planes. Why are you hiding these new aeroplane earrings? (It looks like I also need to teach you how to spell "aeroplane" [emoji16]) Photo please! I want to see those earrings!

Jayne

[Jayne01]

Steph,
   Glad you are feeling better. Especially like the part about slapping sense into Laurie. How do I sign up for that?
Moni

I, Captain Jayne, herby deputise Moni (Moanie, for Laurie to understand) as an official Slap Officer to keep Laurie in line during my absence.

Captain Jayne

[steph2.0]

After letting my business go mostly dormant for the last six months, I'm finally getting my act together. For some reason, within the last week or so I've gotten four inquiries for the plane I import, which is huge, but I've been so preoccupied that I've been neglecting them.

Well, tonight I finally sat down and returned the messages. Three of them were people I've had contact with in the past so I had no choice except than to out myself to them. We'll see what kind of reaction I get. The fourth I don't think I've ever met, so unless he's seen other references, he's going to know the dealer only as Stephanie.

I've got to admit, it was pretty cool signing all those emails as Stephanie Bensinger.

Addendum: I just sent off an email to the Italian company whose planes I import, laying everything out. They are the last people that I needed to come out to, and it's been hanging heavily over my head for quite a while. It was causing a lot of anxiety and it's past time to be done with it one way or another. I have no idea how Italians take such things, but soon I'll have some resolution to it, and can move forward.

I'm nervous as I wait for a reply, but the weight of hiding it is now gone.

[Kendra]

I think this is very important - gaining closure on an important business question, another milestone in your transition.  It really will come down to the individuals involved, but in a competitive industry it's quite likely the people you have been working with overseas are quite open minded.  That's one of the requirements for being a true entrepreneur. 

[steph2.0]

I think this is very important - gaining closure on an important business question, another milestone in your transition.  It really will come down to the individuals involved, but in a competitive industry it's quite likely the people you have been working with overseas are quite open minded.  That's one of the requirements for being a true entrepreneur.

Thanks Kendra. I guess it was the one last river to cross. Things haven't been going all that well with them for a while anyway, so it won't be a huge loss if they kick me to the curb. I was actually ready to send them a resignation rather than come out to them, but receiving four inquiries in the space of a few weeks after nothing for over a year got my attention.

Now good grief, girlfriend, get some sleep. I think you have a busy schedule in the morning. Or do you just plan to sleep through it and let someone else do all the work?

Say Hi to Saha for me. He was nice when we talked here.

See you on the other side.

Stephanie

[steph2.0]

After letting my business go mostly dormant for the last six months, I'm finally getting my act together. For some reason, within the last week or so I've gotten four inquiries for the plane I import, which is huge, but I've been so preoccupied that I've been neglecting them.

Well, tonight I finally sat down and returned the messages. Three of them were people I've had contact with in the past so I had no choice except than to out myself to them. We'll see what kind of reaction I get.

First response received. He's a business owner who had one of his employees transition on the job. He knows all about it, and described the situation with no misgendering. He wants a quote.

Yay!

[Faith]

First response received. He's a business owner who had one of his employees transition on the job. He knows all about it, and described the situation with no misgendering. He wants a quote.

Yay!

Yay!

Like I told my Wife yesterday, "The world is full of us, we're going to take over".

[Bari Jo]

Hmm, I'm following this with interest.  I think you know of my home based business.  Once I am out to the world it will be the only female owned business of that type in the world.  I'm afraid my transition may overshadow the product.  Gotta be done though.  We have a convention soon where I will be releasing the first big product and that will be the time.  Eef, too much pressure.

Are you the only female owned plane importer?

Bari Jo

[steph2.0]

Yay!

Like I told my Wife yesterday, "The world is full of us, we're going to take over".

And gosh, it looks like they're going to let us! I just got a second response. This guy still wants a quote, too, and addressed his email to Stephanie. I had to smile, because his name is Steve, and he signed it in capital letters. 

Stephanie

[steph2.0]

Are you the only female owned plane importer?

I doubt it, but I couldn't actually name another one.

So far so good, Bari Jo. And I would think in your field, you'd get even less pushback than I would.

Stephanie

[steph2.0]

Hmm, I'm following this with interest.  I think you know of my home based business.  Once I am out to the world it will be the only female owned business of that type in the world.  I'm afraid my transition may overshadow the product. 

It's starting to look like it's a non-issue. I already have a second reply from the first customer, and it has the potential for a lucrative ongoing contract. It's by far the most promising possibility I've ever had, and it's for the company run by me, Stephanie.

The product is what it's all about, and money talks. I looks like you've got nothing to worry about. If people respect your work, everything else seems to be secondary.

Stephanie

[Bari Jo]

It's starting to look like it's a non-issue. I already have a second reply from the first customer, and it has the potential for a lucrative ongoing contract. It's by far the most promising possibility I've ever had, and it's for the company run by me, Stephanie.

The product is what it's all about, and money talks. I looks like you've got nothing to worry about. If people respect your work, everything else seems to be secondary.

Stephanie

That's good to hear.  I'm sure I will be posting about my experiences of this when the time comes.

Bari Jo

[Jayne01]

It's starting to look like it's a non-issue. I already have a second reply from the first customer, and it has the potential for a lucrative ongoing contract. It's by far the most promising possibility I've ever had, and it's for the company run by me, Stephanie.

The product is what it's all about, and money talks. I looks like you've got nothing to worry about. If people respect your work, everything else seems to be secondary.

Stephanie

That's great news Steph. The product and your workmanship speak for themselves. People aren't interested in who is selling what. They are interested in the product and how much it will cost them. If they are gonna buy, they're gonna buy.....it just makes the process smoother and more enjoyable when the seller is a nice person.

Jayne

[KathyLauren]

I am glad that issue is sorting itself out.  If you are the best at what you do, customers will know that and appreciate it, no matter what happens in your personal life.

[Mariah]

So true. So glad to hear this hurdle has meant so well for you. I know where  I worked when I transitioned it was a non issue as well and they never goofed my name up that I ever recall after coming out as Mariah. Anyways that is fantastic news. Hugs
Mariah

It's starting to look like it's a non-issue. I already have a second reply from the first customer, and it has the potential for a lucrative ongoing contract. It's by far the most promising possibility I've ever had, and it's for the company run by me, Stephanie.

The product is what it's all about, and money talks. I looks like you've got nothing to worry about. If people respect your work, everything else seems to be secondary.

Stephanie

[Mariah]

So true. So glad to hear this hurdle has meant so well for you. I know where  I worked when I transitioned it was a non issue as well and they never goofed my name up that I ever recall after coming out as Mariah. Anyways that is fantastic news. Hugs
Mariah

It's starting to look like it's a non-issue. I already have a second reply from the first customer, and it has the potential for a lucrative ongoing contract. It's by far the most promising possibility I've ever had, and it's for the company run by me, Stephanie.

The product is what it's all about, and money talks. I looks like you've got nothing to worry about. If people respect your work, everything else seems to be secondary.

Stephanie

[steph2.0]

Hiya Steph! Well, I'm not sure how I can add to this. You have summarised it all up pretty well. I am very happy you have had such a good day. You are just going about living your life being you. Your constant thoughts of gender are starting to take a back seat and you are just living a normal life. That is awesome! You've done it! You are Stephanie, just another one of the girls. What remains can be classified as logistics, just processes you need to go through. The hard part is done, you have accepted and believe in yourself.

You give me far too much credit. I wish I sported that level of confidence, but the truth is I still get anxious before I go out anywhere, and I'm always mentally preparing myself for the worst in any interaction. And I still get surprised, not just by other people, but even by myself (see the self-dead-naming episode). But yeah, it is slowly getting better. I'm doing things I never would have imagined even 6 months ago. I'm not there yet, but I can see that someday I will be.

There is only one problem I see with what you have posted. You know I love planes. Why are you hiding these new aeroplane earrings? (It looks like I also need to teach you how to spell "aeroplane" [emoji16]) Photo please! I want to see those earrings!

I wanted something small I could leave in when I wasn't wearing dangly ones. I can wear these to bed without them being annoying. So here are my "aeroplane" earrings (well, one of them, anyway):



Stephanie

[steph2.0]

My wife's favorite hobby is playing indoor badminton. Those outside the US will understand that. Those in the States think of dinking a bird over a volleyball net, and the real thing ain't nothin' like that. In any case, while I'm a bit of a homebody and spend my time in the shop and hangar, she meets her friends on the courts and then socializes with them afterwards, sometimes as often as three times a week.

I've met a few of them before, and they and the others who've never met me constantly ask why her "husband" doesn't come to their get-togethers and parties, and wonder what "Steve" is up to. A few years ago I'd occasionally go to a party, but for the last year, for obvious reasons, I've been keeping my distance. My transition isn't something that she feels is necessary to discuss, but in my efforts to clear the decks of any outstanding tripping points, I decided it was time to come clean. So I wrote the following and printed it on postcards for her to distribute. It pretty much speaks for itself:

Hello

I am Sue Xxxxxxx's spouse. A few of you have met me before, and others may have only heard of me and some of my exploits from Sue. I know that some of you have invited me to join you at some of your functions, and I appreciate that. I've been avoiding such things for a very specific reason. For Sue's sake, I feel that I owe you an explanation.

I have been suffering with a medical condition my entire life. It's something I was born with, and is associated with anxiety, fear, and shame, bad enough that 41% of those with this condition have considered suicide. I had made plans. These problems aren't directly caused by the condition itself, but rather by the way society can treat those who have it. That's the bad news. The good news for me is, with Sue's help and blessing, after fifty years of suffering I finally asked for help, and I am undergoing treatment to address the condition. It is going very very well, and I have never been happier in my entire life.

This does lead to the awkwardness, though. The diagnosis from both a therapist and a medical doctor both agreed with what I'd known my entire life: I had been suffering from a condition called gender dysphoria. In other words, I am transgender. To address this, I am undergoing the only effective treatment available for the condition: I began medically-supervised transition from male to female last June.

It is exactly what I needed. My outlook on life has turned around 180 degrees. I never knew that this level of joy and contentment was even an option.

Since then I have legally changed my name and gender with both the federal and state governments, and have begun living full-time in my new role. My name is Stephanie Rhapsody Bensinger, Steph to my friends.

You should know that Sue and I still love each other very much and will be staying together. My newfound happiness has smoothed many old wrinkles in our relationship, and it's stronger now than ever.

Regardless how you view me or my condition, I ask that you continue to treat Sue well. She is still the same wonderfully silly person you all know. And I am now comfortable enough as myself that if you like, I am willing to attend one of your get-togethers. Let Sue know, and I'll come along some time so we can meet.

As I move into my Happy New Life, I believe that 2018 will be a Happy New Year for me. I wish the same for you, too.

Steph

[Jayne01]

Steph, that is a nice letter to Sue's friends. It covers everything about you while keeping Sue's well-being in mind. Hopefully the letter and you are accepted by her friends and more importantly, Sue is not treated any differently. I see no reason for it not to go smoothly.

BTW, I love the plane earrings. I want my own!

Jayne

[steph2.0]

BTW, I love the plane earrings. I want my own!

Here ya go: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01MREECFK/ref=od_aui_detailpages00?ie=UTF8&psc=1