Quote from: Anne Blake on March 12, 2018, 08:21:05 PM
I am pretty sure that it was closer to 70 degrees out......come on girls!
Stephanie, enjoy your visit to the Big Apple. I hope that you get the answers that you are looking for. I know that you will enjoy yourselves even if you need to scrape the ice off of your glasses in the blizzard.
Yes, it actually was closer to 70... than it was to zero.
I guess I'm feeling particularly contemplative tonight. The last couple of days have been a bit of a roller coaster. Lots of elevated highs and subterranean lows. Thoughts are piling in and I'm trying to process them all.
Right now I'm thinking about milestones.
Tia, I had blown by many many milestones by the end of January, but the trip to Phoenix surpassed them all. I've used the term before: it was a true turning point in my life. It was such an honor to share that experience with Cassie and you and Kendra - and Dena, Mariah, Jamie, Denise, and all the rest who were with us in spirit. That trip was the culmination of shedding the cocoon - and finding out that the world was actually welcoming to the person I've always been, but whom I'd never before let them see.
Now I'm preparing for another trip with the potential to be just as momentous. I wish you could all be with me again for this one, but this time I'm sharing the experience with my life partner, Sue. If I get the news I hope to, I will be set on the path that leads to the most scary, but most dearly desired change in my life.
I've done everything I can think of to prepare my external self for this trip. I have new glasses, new colored and styled hair, beautiful new fingernails, shaped eyebrows. I would never have been able to get through most of that without the gentle guidance and encouragement of one of the most important people in my life: my dear sister Cassie. I don't know where I'd be now without her, but it certainly wouldn't be anywhere near this far.
As for my
internal self: Once again I will be leaving my comfort zone far behind. New York City has never held any attraction for me, just as I've avoided all other big cities. But with the help of many great people, I've prepared as best as I can, and am mentally armed with what I think is enough knowledge to keep myself mostly out of trouble.
The base reason for the trip should be the scariest thing about it - but strangely enough, it's the part I feel most confident about. I'll be seeing a social worker, a mental health doctor, and a member of the medical team, and I know that I have a good story for all of them. I feel stable, confident this is the right thing, and though I certainly am not as strong as Kendra was when she went to Phoenix, I'm in pretty good health. I was never as certain of acing a test in school as I am about impressing all these people. I'm much more anxious about what I'm going to wear and how I'm going to get around town than I am about the interviews. And, surprisingly even to myself, the fact that I'm going as Stephanie has hardly even entered into my mind. After all, who else would I go as? There are much more pressing matters to worry about. The external face I'm presenting to the world as I do this is just the manifestation of my new normal.
This is me.I'll try to give a running commentary but you know how it is. I'll do the best I can, but there isn't going to be much downtime for writing.
Once again I quote our sister Ashley: On we go!
Stephanie
