For anyone who is still paying attention, here's what's been going on in my corner of the world. More milestones...
Lunch and TherapyLast Friday started out with a hurried lunch with
@SassyCassie, then on to my therapist.
The session went very well, with minimal tears. We talked mostly about my recent misgendering incident, and since this was only the second session with this therapist, I covered the other times it's happened, too. The other
two times. And he pulled me up short with the question, "Only three times in a year?! And how many times were you correctly gendered?" Whoa. I have no idea, really, but now that I'm forced to think about it, there have been tons of times I've heard
ladies, and
ma'am, and
miss. I suppose the reason the misgendering incidents are so prominent is because they're so rare. Just as in the last session, when I told him about being misgendered, he stared at me and asked, "Why would anyone misgender you?" My homework is to actually keep track of the correct gendering incidents. I like this guy a lot - better than my old therapist. He poses a question, lets me talk, then proposes a solution and homework. In just two sessions I feel like I've advanced a lot.
Stepping Outside the Comfort ZoneSession over, I decided to follow through with my plan to step wayyy outside my comfort zone. I'm going to a very special event soon, and I want to look as good as I can... so I drove to a Sephora, marched in, and told the young man who greeted me that I am new to makeup - because I'm transgender - and I need some guidance. For the next hour he guided me through foundation, lipstick, lip liner, eyeliner, eye shadow, and blush. I had him check the price on the handful of stuff I was carrying, and it was over $200. Okay, let's whittle this down. I left with foundation, eyeliner, eye shadow, and some brushes. I've already got most of the other stuff anyway. I found that the things I already had were actually decent choices for color, etc, so I was happy to get out of there at my self-imposed limit of $100.
Flying!I have been working on my neighbor's plane for a little while. It belonged to her husband, and after he passed away (I wrote about flying a "Missing Man" formation with my other neighbors at his funeral back in February) she told me that if I get the plane flying so her grandson - who is taking flying lessons - could fly it with me when he came to visit, I could fly it as much as I wanted. With the help of my certificated mechanic neighbor's help, I put the plane into flying condition, but found that the radio and intercom combination were terrible. I got permission to replace them, and I finished that last Friday.
The wiring rat's nest I found behind the instrument panel.
So for the first time in a while I got to fly to breakfast on Saturday morning!
Nails and PedicureWhen we got back from breakfast, I cleaned up and drove to
@SassyCassie 's place, from where we went to get our nails done in preparation for the special even we'll both be participating in. I also decided to go all out and get my first pedicure, as seen in an earlier post. We also did lunch and dinner, then I blasted home.
Sunday Breakfast Flight and Electronics RetrievalI got up Sunday morning and sat down at the table with my tablet to catch up with Susan's. Except the tablet wasn't there. D'Oh! I had left it in Cassie's car on Saturday. I had planned to fly to breakfast somewhere, and when I told Cassie what I'd done, she suggested we fly to an airport within 5 minutes of her house, and she'd drive us to breakfast. And I could take my tablet home with me. Done deal! Off we went for a 22 minute flight that takes an hour by car. It's the only way to travel. We went to breakfast where we were repeatedly addressed as
you ladies, and had a great meal with great company. A few pictures, then back home with my tablet.
ElectrocutionToday was HNT day - or as I've renamed it, HNN. It used to be Hot Needle Torture, but with the new electrocutioner I'm using, and the blend method instead of straight thermolysis, it's so much less painful that I fall asleep during the two hour session. Hence, Hot Needle Nap.
More Ma'amsSince I skip my coffee on HNN mornings (oh, the horror!), as soon as the session is done I go to the closest Starbucks for my Venti Hot Mocha with Whipped Cream. I usually grab a sandwich there, and it's always nice to tell them "Stephanie" when they ask, "And what's your name, ma'am?" With my Percent Daily Value of caffeine fulfilled, it was back into the Rocket Skate and a run down the street to the Post Office to mail a package - where I was greeted with, "How can I help you, ma'am?"
A Real Pain in the... Back, With a Warm EndgameApparently I've pulled a muscle in my back, and for the last couple of days it's been agonizing. I haven't been able to sleep much, and it hurt so much today that I decided I'd better see a doctor. From the post office parking lot - which is about 1 1/2 hours from home and my doctor's office - I put on my best voice and called them. There were no pronouns used, but at least that meant there were no
sirs. After making the appointment I lit the fire and blasted home.
I made it to the office on time, and checked in with no drama. Those who've been there a while are starting to get used to my new self, and there's enough staff turnover that there are mostly new people in the front office, who only know Stephanie. When I was called back, the intake nurse just chatted with me about this and that, and complimented me on my new nails. Just girl talk and banter.
My regular doctor wasn't in, so I got an appointment with a different one. She'd been my assigned doctor at the clinic for about 6 months a few years ago, and I'd found her to be distant, blunt, and almost unfriendly then. Today was totally different. She looked over my records on the computer - I have no idea what it told her - and then asked, "And what can I do for you, my dear?" We talked about my back, she did some probing, made recommendations, and wrote a prescription. As I stood to leave, she said, "Take care, hon!" Wow. What a change! Maybe she likes caring for women better than men.
At the checkout desk I complimented the lady on her dark hair with purple highlights, and more girl talk ensued. All in all, except for the back pain, it was a great visit.
Trivia, and the New NormalOn to Tuesday night trivia. Once again I was warmly welcomed as just another lady in the group. Smiles with the gang, with the waitress, and with the other ladies in the rest room. We didn't win, but it was a great night anyway.
So, with my new "Ma'am" detector running, I'm having it proven to me that my previous declarations of
Living the New Normal are actually true. Unless something untoward happens, I have every reason to expect to be named and gendered correctly, with misgendering incidents outside the norm.
All in all, I can't complain...
Stephanie
