Good bye

[coldHeart]

Just like to say thanks for the people who bother to talk to me why I was on this site but there's a lot of people on here so far up there own arse, any way I am detransitioning so I will be closing my account to night.
Sara

[Megan.]

Hun,  I'm very sorry to hear this. I don't know any specifics but certainly hope I've never said anything offensive?
Whatever,  I wish you happiness wherever life takes you. X

Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk

[RobynTx]

Any forum is like a slice of the general population.  Some people are good, some are bad.  It may take a while to sort out who is who and there will be times when you are wrong either direction.  Do what you need to do and not what any one else says to do.  Follow your heart, no other's comments.  We will still be here if you need us.

[SailorMars1994]

Hun dont do something in hast. It may seem hard right now, down right  impossible maybe even. But you can do this! I would suggest keeping this account activated and not deleate it just in case things go south. If you are detransitioning out of your hearts desires and pure intentions are included you will be supported, but from all I gathered from you that is unlikely going to happen. You want off of Susans? fine, take a week away, a month even 2 months. You do not owe any one an explantation as to why you are doing whatever it is you wanna do. But dont run away when you may need us sometime down the road. We love you

[Laurie]

Sara,

You know what I am going to say. Well maybe you don't so I will just say it. I do not want to see you go. I want you to be here and see you working on the problems that continue to plague you. There are people here that do love you and want to see you succeed in defeating your demons. We want to help you and try to give you the support you need. We cannot help you if you are not here.
  Sara, you do need help and some of that help will have to come from professionals. You were imploring me to get help for my problems just a few days ago, is that advice not just as good for you? I have taken that step to get professional help by taking the advice you and many others here at Susan's have given me. I'm not fixed yet by doing so, it will take time for that to happen and during that time I will surely need continuing support of my friends here. Why don't you do the same. You need the help every bit as much as I do if not more. Let it happen.

Hugs
  Laurie

[davina61]

I agree with Laurie , don't act in haste and let a few folk get you down.Hugs Davina

[Jenntrans]

I wouldn't mind getting to know you Sara. I never judge and I am new here even.

[coldHeart]

I am not detransitioning not out of choice because i know in the very near future it will cost me my life but I,ve  had enough of seeing a male look back at me in the mirror every morning even tho I'm on hormones & have been living full time as a Woman for a while, I don't want to be beautiful I want to be passable & not get my head kick in.
People keep telling me you look OK but sometimes people say stuff as not to up set you.
So yes there are one or two idiots on this site but no one has up set me yet!
I made a go of it & I failed as a male as a female simple as.
No one said it would be easy but you have to have self belief, some thing I don't have any more.

[MaryT]

Even if you want to leave, there is no reason to close your account immediately.

Coincidentally, I felt yesterday that I should close my account.  It is hard to explain why, but I felt that although the other members were always nice to me, I could not really be welcome.  At the same time, I really wanted to stay.  I decided to sleep on it.  Today I felt the same way, and logged in with the intention of closing my account.  However, after I logged in and read the new posts, etc., I could not understand why I had felt that way.  I think that I sometimes have a kind of depression that affects my perception of how other people see me.

In your case, your reasons may be different, but keep your account open in case you feel differently in a few days or a few weeks.

[Jenntrans]

I am not detransitioning not out of choice because i know in the very near future it will cost me my life but I,ve  had enough of seeing a male look back at me in the mirror every morning even tho I'm on hormones & have been living full time as a Woman for a while, I don't want to be beautiful I want to be passable & not get my head kick in.
People keep telling me you look OK but sometimes people say stuff as not to up set you.
So yes there are one or two idiots on this site but no one has up set me yet!
I made a go of it & I failed as a male as a female simple as.
No one said it would be easy but you have to have self belief, some thing I don't have any more.

Look just chill and we all want something. I want to be rich and I am not. You want to pass and give the hormones a little time. I am sure you are younger than I am.

So sometimes what we see in the mirror is not what other people see. So don't judge what you think you see in the mirror because a lot of times and most times that is not what others see.

I don't think you have failed as male or female, I don't know you but you do sound like you are hurting though. That makes you human. Actually that makes you just like everyone else male or female.

So let's leave out the male or female identities, that is not important right now because you sound like you are hurting and let's focus on the human side of things though and that is that you are hurting. Lets talk about that and unload it.

I am no Angelina Jolie but so what? Sometimes I look in the mirror and don't see what I would like too, so what? I am still me and still a woman albeit transwoman but woman is the key.

Your life should never be in the balance of anything. My life has but not because of any choice I made. So let's talk. You can PM me if I can even get PMs being so new or you can unload whatever on me and I will take it and hug you. But you are important. Your life is important and if you want to transition or detransition then no judgments. Just you and what you want.

[coldHeart]

Like I said in my last post I don't have any self belief any more, the amount of trans people about these days some are bound to fail guess what I'm one of those.
Going back to a male life will no doubt in a very short time not end very well but as they day " that's life " unless I win the lottery tomorrow so I can pay to get rid of this male face.
We can all dream.

[Katie Jade]

Darling please don't go.
I can see your sadness and I can feel it truly.
But we need to let go sometimes of what others think and realise that as women we all come in all shapes, sizes, mentalities and we all have things that could/hope would be better. I would rather help you than be sad at your decision, so that would be a hope for me.
You shouldn't care too much what others think as most don't care anyway. Look to yourself for your belief, and from your post I can really feel that you are a caring soul, so don't waste it, just use it. We all need that.
I lost caring of what most think about my predicament a while ago and the load off me was immeasurable, and I'm loved now by more people than I thought I would be. I learnt not to make life harder for myself and I have found truer friends and people who love my by doing that. Just a few steps away, truly.

Sounds a bit silly but I don't want you to go,
Love an Hugz
Katie Jade

[MaryT]

Yes, you can still dream, and if you can still dream, why give up?  You are a woman, you are not a "failed" woman.  You can't fail at being what you are.  You are clearly very depressed right now.  Have you thought of discussing that with your doctor?  Sometimes there is a physical cause.

If some members (like me soon) do not immediately reply to your posts, it does not mean that we have lost interest, but that we live in different time zones and may have fallen asleep.

Please don't close your account, but rest for a while or distract yourself by reading or watching television.  However you feel in the future, it will not be the way that you feel now.

[coldHeart]

I will feel like in the future probably for ever as I have to look at myself every day, its very hard to apply make up with your eyes closed.
I never though transitioning would be so lovely.

[Dena]

If anybody on the site has given you a hard time in the forum, use the report to moderator button to the right of the post. If they do it in PM, use the report to administrator button and send it to Cindy. There is no reason for anybody on the forum to be mistreated and if it happens, we will deal with the person responsible.

As for appearing male, we often see that for a long time after we start cross living. From what I remember of your avatar picture, you actually appeared quite feminine. Yes the picture was a bit on the small side and that hid some of the detail but I thought you should be able to pass as female and not an unattractive one.

[coldHeart]

No dena nobody as far as I'm a were no body has upset me.
It is who I am is what's upsetting me the fact I can't become the person I long to be.
This has cost me dearly like a lot of transitions but I as hoping to feel better that this, any way we all come on this group for help for advice & guidance unfortunately none of this will help the way I look so there is no need for some one lime me to be part of this group.
I have as you Americans say lost my mojo.

[coldHeart]

Any way thank you people for you kind words.
Sara over & out 💖

[Dena]

We have member who have not and will not transition. While there aren't many, we have CIS member on the site. We have a fair population of non binary who identify in many  different ways. However you decide to identify, you are a part of this community and are always welcome here. What you  are feeling will pass with time but your discomfort with your body will continue. Many of us have felt this at one time or another so it's not new or unusual to us. Stay with us while you find a life that puts you  in a more comfortable place with yourself. We really don't want you to go as the purpose of this site is to help others with their problems. There is no reason for you to face this by yourself when we want to help.

[Sarah_P]

Sara I'm so sorry you're feeling down. You're the only one who can decide what's best for you, but please don't delete your account. We want to help you in any way we can.
I'm pretty sure everyone here has doubted our passibility. I've been told many times that I pass fairly well, and that I look completely different from my horrible male appearance, but I find it very hard to believe. From your former picture, you really do look good. I know it's hard for you to believe that, since as you said, we see ourselves in the mirror every day and often can't see past who we once were. HRT will only make you look better, but it takes time.
Please be safe dear, we all care for you.

[Kendra]

Also Sara please please keep in mind HRT requires time for physical and mental effects to take effect.  Especially the physical changes.  I am also just getting started with HRT. 

Sara let's stay on this journey together, as sisters.   

Kendra