Quote from: coldHeart on October 09, 2017, 06:12:10 PM
You are right Ashley I am pass the point of no return as to going back to my old life, after last week a day & a half was enough to tell me that, I could not never go back to being "him".
Yes I have become a recluse yes I am utterly lonely to the point of feeling sick all the time but I am alive living as the right gender at last.
We can't have it all.
I am a little different on the aspect of being alone. I love my BF but can't wait for him to leave and pray he comes home safe but when he is away at work I have most of my time to myself with no input from anyone. Did I mention I was a little different than most people?
It takes time. I mean for Christ's sake I was called a "sissy" while growing up. I was even called the "F" word many times because some people can't grasp the whole transgender deal. There is nothing easy about it. There are no magic cures or spells. Now I think it is so much easier than when I was growing up and in some ways it is but not really because it forces you to confront something that most people don't and that is yourself and who you are. Your happiness means everything to you and your comfort and assurance in your identity whether it be sexual or gender and everything else is reliant upon you.
Being transgender is somewhat more accepted by society today than it used to be but it is still just as hard as it was when I was getting called sissy and "->-bleeped-<-". It is so hard because you have to know yourself inside. Most people don't even want to scrutinize themselves that closely because they are afraid of what they may find.
Look Sara there are no recipes for happiness, you have to make your own according to you. Live your life and be damned with others and there will be a lot of others. Cis people are not immune to this either. This goes for everyone. Obese people are ridiculed, non pleasing to the eye people are ridiculed, gays used to be and still are in some places ridiculed and trans are ridiculed. No one has a choice but we do have a choice about how we react to it and how much we let it effect us. And who knows because our reactions my change perceptions. So you are just as important and Caitlyn Jenner and Jazz Jennings. You are just as important as Bailey Jay and Laverne Cox. You are just as important and your happiness is just as important as anyone else's. But it still takes work and facing fears. It is scary but you have taken the first steps but only you can decide what makes you feel good about yourself and get to know yourself. Then comes the learning part of behaviors, movements, talking and so on. It is almost like a rebirth.
@ RobynD. LOL. I love to be Isolated. If you have ever watched the show Last Man on Earth, Jesus that would be fine with me but in my case the last Transwoman on earth. Jesus all the makeup and clothing for the taking?
But for the most part and you are right because humans are social creatures. Like I said in the beginning I am different though.
