Hello everyone, I am going by Sonechka or Sonya and I have been coming to the realization that I am transgender (mtf) over the last few years. I hope that it is fine to share this little bit about myself and that it does not offend anyone
I have always been the happiest in my life when doing things/being/behaving in what society sees as a typically 'feminine' manner. I used to think that it was the novelty of these events that made them seem so special to me ('crossdressing' for a party, randomly asking for a partner or friend to do my make-up etc.), however I now recognize them as genuine, short-lived attempts to exist how I want to. My body has always caused me anguish, which I used to think was due to being overweight, however I lost weight an gained muscle tone but was as unhappy as ever. There are countless women in my life who I wanted to be friends with but ended up avoiding because I thought they would perceive my intentions incorrectly due to my being male.
About five years ago, due to the increased media attention towards the transgender community, I began to ask myself questions. These questions scared the hell out of me, and I quickly bottled them away. Every now and then, however, perhaps if I shaved my legs, or checked out a good-looking guy, or saw a dress which I wanted, or dreamed of having a more feminine body, these questions would come up again.
The answer to the primary question, as to whether or not I am transgender, finally has a firm answer: Yes.
I have come to these boards looking to be a part of a community which has a wealth of experiences, advice, and friendship to offer (there is no existing transgender 'community' to speak of where I live).
It feels good to write this, and thank you to everyone who takes the time to read it
It feels as though I am only on the first step of my adventure to accept myself, but it is awesome to be on my way xx
