Is jealousy towards females a normal thing for a trans?

[hiddengirlsheila]

Fortunately, i don't really think or act like a man, that's one of the main qualities i have for being trans despite being in a male body...in a sexual situation, being sexually attracted to females is also not solely a manhood thing either. I like exploring her body, giving her pleasure, and seeing what i could be experiencing if i was her on the receiving end...when i was 16 and gave my neighbor a handjob i didnt let him give me one back in return because i only wanted to exploring and experiment with my bisexuality and also my female mindset towards giving pleasure to men. It wouldn't have worked the same if he did it in return for me then that would have made me feel more manly, either way its complicated. I usually just like pleasuring my partner but i rarely let my penis get some because that would make me feel like a man.

[jessica95]

Hmm, i used to envy them alot as a women myself, specially the popular. But as i get older and older, the jealousy and envy disappears more.  (i am still young). I dont feel so much envy or jealousy anymore. But i used to,  i dont think jealousy or envy is good.

[Sinead]

I envy women every single day, their long hair, their mannerisms, their lips, their figure, literally everything about them, when I see a girl that I want to be, I get this pang in my stomach, and a shower of sadness that I'm not female, which lasts for a few seconds.

When I'm dressed, then I feel like I am a woman, and feel like I relate to them

[Stevie]

 Its not so much about being pretty it more about experiencing life as a woman. When I was growing up I wished I was a girl I didn't care if I was the plainest girl in school just to being a girl would be enough. One thing that makes me envious is seeing young girls just goofing off and hanging out , that's something I will never have.

[rmaddy]

Most women compare themselves to other women.  Welcome to the club.

I suppose you can call it jealousy, but I see it as normal behavior.  I want what they have because I see myself as one of them.

[hiddengirlsheila]

Life can be so unfair. I want to experience life as a full fledged woman, i wish there was an option of choosing what you would be born as biologically but we get no such choice. We have the choice to transition, we are born transgendered and we can go through physical transition. Of course we can never be fully women biologically because we cannot get pregnant and give birth like a biological female can. That is something i will always wish i could do, the joy of life growing inside me and giving birth i will never get to experience, at least not in this life.

[Sarah77]

I had to meet a transgender woman throigh my job last week. She was stunning and even knew herself she was "pretty" and fully passable.

I was green with envy..and she had no idea

[hiddengirlsheila]

Haha

I'd say you shouldn't be envious as much as learning how to be like them and exploring your own womanhood and compare it to them especially if they are biological females. I don't try to copy other people though, i stay true to myself...which is part of being a transgender isn't it?

[nyteshade]

As another said, envy is the likely word you're seeking. It sounds as though you are a transgender female, like myself, but feel free to correct me.

Being envious of what you've always wanted but that *seems* so impossible to attain is normal. From someone who's gone through the mental and physical transformation know there is hope to achieve what you seek.

If you work for an Apple retail store most of medical needs would be covered by insurance. No matter your identity or your goals, you can attain them one step at a time.


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[GrayKat]

This is a sore spot for me. I just watch them in the lunch room at work, all sitting together and chatting and I know I am not welcome. It's always been like this.

[rmaddy]

This is a sore spot for me. I just watch them in the lunch room at work, all sitting together and chatting and I know I am not welcome. It's always been like this.

Are you out?

[hiddengirlsheila]

As another said, envy is the likely word you're seeking. It sounds as though you are a transgender female, like myself, but feel free to correct me.

Being envious of what you've always wanted but that *seems* so impossible to attain is normal. From someone who's gone through the mental and physical transformation know there is hope to achieve what you seek.

If you work for an Apple retail store most of medical needs would be covered by insurance. No matter your identity or your goals, you can attain them one step at a time.


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Any other kind of insurance help cover the costs? I dont work for Apple nor do i have any future plans to. How much does HRT and transition surgery cost in total? I have heard it is somewhere between the 5k to 7k range and this can vary and be even more money. I'll make a lot more money in the future once i become a graphics designer, only work at a convenience store right now but i'm on disability insurance for more money and benefits as well. Does disability insurance help with the costs? It helps with a lot of other things and makes it so you can pay your bills without too much strain on your wallet and it covers other medical things so i'm asking since transition surgery and HRT is considered medical, does it help with that as well? I can basically see a therapist for free and i have in the past but it wasn't for being transgender, it was for something else.

Yes as I've said many times i am a trans girl.

[nyteshade]

Any other kind of insurance help cover the costs? I dont work for Apple nor do i have any future plans to. How much does HRT and transition surgery cost in total? I have heard it is somewhere between the 5k to 7k range and this can vary and be even more money. I'll make a lot more money in the future once i become a graphics designer, only work at a convenience store right now but i'm on disability insurance for more money and benefits as well. Does disability insurance help with the costs? It helps with a lot of other things and makes it so you can pay your bills without too much strain on your wallet and it covers other medical things so i'm asking since transition surgery and HRT is considered medical, does it help with that as well? I can basically see a therapist for free and i have in the past but it wasn't for being transgender, it was for something else.

Your insurance coverage will dictate a lot of how expensive things are. In a wildly varying way. I am a software engineer and for many of us, coverage is high and expenses are low. It can, however be the opposite very easily.

Always remember no matter the weight on your shoulders, you can reach your goal by putting one foot in front of the other. Remember to take breaks; you will get there.



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[hiddengirlsheila]

Thank you for the encouragement nyteshade, you sound like a very wise person. Would medicaid cover some of the expenses? What about medicare? Is medicare better than medicaid?

[Rebecca W]

Life can be so unfair. I want to experience life as a full fledged woman, i wish there was an option of choosing what you would be born as biologically but we get no such choice. We have the choice to transition, we are born transgendered and we can go through physical transition. Of course we can never be fully women biologically because we cannot get pregnant and give birth like a biological female can. That is something i will always wish i could do, the joy of life growing inside me and giving birth i will never get to experience, at least not in this life.

Back when I was younger, maybe 8 or so I can't quite remember, I used to believe that everyone chose if they wanted to be a boy or a girl and would then walk through the door they chose and then be born. I used to be so mad at myself for having chosen "the wrong door". Now I know better. So I took a fireaxe and chopped down that womanhood door and ran through haha

[Roll]

Thank you for the encouragement nyteshade, you sound like a very wise person. Would medicaid cover some of the expenses? What about medicare? Is medicare better than medicaid?

I think it varies state by state for medicaid, I know nothing about medicare. In GA where I am, and I imagine most states, medicaid does not cover costs at all as far as anyone will tell me(no one will come out and say it outright, they just give me the run around when I call people), but some things get caught under more general charges. For instance, if your GP does your hormones and it is also your primary general health checkup, it would definitely cover those appointments, so that will depend heavily on your doctor. (I personally chose to go with a group experienced with HRT over my GP and pay out of pocket.) I also found out that my bloodwork is covered if I do it through the hospital here and not a private lab, but that is just according to the hospital and I am a littttttttttttle leery about if medicaid is going to fight me on it. (But I have to also get bloodwork in general for other issues, so if I can get the timing lined up I should be able to get everything done no questions asked as part of a big package. They make me do a lot of extraneous bloodwork anyway.)

[rmaddy]

Thank you for the encouragement nyteshade, you sound like a very wise person. Would medicaid cover some of the expenses? What about medicare? Is medicare better than medicaid?

Medicare is for 65+ generally.  Medicaid, except in states where Republican governors refused federal funding to say they were strong against Obamacare, provides insurance coverage up to 1.38x the income defined as poverty level.  If you qualify for medicaid, some transgender services will likely be covered in your area.  Private insurance often provides some insurance as well, with the typical pattern to cover GCS for MTF/FTM, hormonal therapy for both, and top surgery for FTM.  Better and worse plans exist all over the spectrum.

[Kylo]

Sigh, it really irks me how narrow minded and prejudiced some people can be, unless they walk in our shoes they've got no right to be so judgmental and tell us that we are outcasts or freaks or whatever their tiny brains conceive us calling us.

The problem is that they never can walk in our shoes. The closest they can get is if they deliberately put themselves in a similar situation as an experiment and that's not going to happen with most of them. But sometimes people do this with surprising results (such as when Norah Vincent dressed/lived as a man, and found she was beginning to suffer stress and anxiety and depression as a result of leading a "double life" - while the aim of her experiment wasn't to find out about what transgender people have to deal with, she did uncover a bit of it in the process and this was on TV for a lot of people to see).

People are narrow minded because they're usually intellectually lazy. Most people won't expand their mental horizons unless forced to, and trans issues are some of those that are tricky even for people who are trans to get their heads around at first. So in a sense I don't blame them. They have literally no idea where we're coming from until you sit down with them and talk about what it's like as if you're both on the same level.

Regarding the OP, I think jealousy features quite a bit in the troubles of trans people, from what I can see and read. That's what makes me laugh when a particularly ignorant cis person says trans people are "out of touch with reality". Trans people are absolutely in touch with reality, and normalcy - they know exactly what it is and they want it as well, in nearly all cases. I am reading it all the time on here and elsewhere - transwomen's desires usually being "I want to be a normal woman. Like those around me". Demonstrates a clear understanding of what normal reality is, and that being in the situation we are in is wrong and detrimental to our health. The situation we find ourselves in is rather abnormal, but the state we want to be in is usually one of normality. I figure the envy of that normality is a perfectly natural state of mind for any human being.

[josie76]

Better and worse plans exist all over the spectrum.

Private insurance is extremely variable.
In my home state Illinois, it is illegal for an insurance plan to broadly discriminate and use wording such as excluding all transitional coverage. But my last employer was from MS and down there they can openly discriminate against anyone, anytime.
I'm still stuck paying for my old crappy insurance under COBRA. I can't get an ACA policy because the system said I might qualify for Medicaid. I now must wait for the "system" to get around to telling me if I get IL Medicaid or not. By the time they decide, open enrollment will be closed for the year. If I don't qualify for Medicaid I will be stuck with COBRA until next year assuming the system still exists by then.

[Roll]

The problem is that they never can walk in our shoes. The closest they can get is if they deliberately put themselves in a similar situation as an experiment and that's not going to happen with most of them. But sometimes people do this with surprising results (such as when Norah Vincent dressed/lived as a man, and found she was beginning to suffer stress and anxiety and depression as a result of leading a "double life" - while the aim of her experiment wasn't to find out about what transgender people have to deal with, she did uncover a bit of it in the process and this was on TV for a lot of people to see).

YES! Thank you for mentioning Norah Vincent, I had been struggling to remember her name for years. I saw her while I was arbitrarily flipping through channels around when her book came out, and I happened to land on a CSPAN book club thing interviewing her for a brief moment. In a bit of pure latent trans-ness, I stopped and watched the segment intently of course.