Well over the last few weeks I've checked out more bars and dating apps than I have in the last 14 years. I came to the conclusion that I don't actually want a man. I want a woman and not just any woman, but a trans woman. Which is fortunate given my long distance gf is both. Had a good conversation with her this afternoon and we both share a very similar vision for the future which is quite exciting. The logistics of what happens to take me from where I am, to where I want to be are more complicated given the family must be first on the priority list. However, given time and patience its not impossible either.
I have a dream that within the next ten years I can be a bride. Its on my bucket list, and its on hers. We had a little discussion around that and resolved that such an outcome would not be impossible in the future just need to see how things go in terms of dealing with various issues and obstacles again requiring time!
In terms of transitioning I have to say the grunt work is done. Its just a matter of well logistics. Waiting on the list for orchie, finding a way to gather cash for srs in the future. Other wise, its done. Beyond letting things continue to settle, letting hrt do its thing, letting hair grow, and letting laser do it work (see a theme? hurry up and wait) its time to just get on with living.
I've been trying to be the most critical I can be and looking at my recent photos and experiences there is no evidence to point to people seeing me as anything but the way I want them to. Today I was in a playground full of parents and my daughter as usual used Daddy about 100 times... no blinks an eye. These days, dad is less of a gendered term and more of a job description.
Work issues continue to resolve and a bit more hard work and yes... waiting (arrrggghhhH!) will sort out most of that, freeing me to be mobile in where I work helping to resolve closing the distance in long distance relationship issue. I'm trying to be pragmatic and look at the what ifs... but the fact is every goal I set a year ago is complete or almost complete. The family dynamic while changed did not explode. We have come to an amiable compromise. I did not lose my job or career... and transition is rolling along fabulously.
Spose all I can say in closing is that today is a totally awesome day and tomorrow will only be better.