So it's the last day of 2017. What a ride this year has been!
Wow!!
Yep, a year-end summary!
TL:DR: It was (almost) all good!
It started out with a doctor's appointment for my first HRT prescription. I started my first dose of E and S on Jan 20th. I felt the first effects within a week, and could see significant effects within a couple of months.
I immediately started planning how I was going to come out in my community. There was never any doubt that I wanted a full transition. I gave myself a time line of late April, and started to work towards that. I am an analyst at heart (worked in IT), so I worked out who would gossip to whom, and what order I needed to tell people in order to manage the flow of information.
In the process of doing that, I realized that, back in the fall of 2016, I had agreed to do a public astronomy talk in July. With an April transition in the works, and knowing that publicity material would soon be published for the event, I realized that I needed to come out to the event organizers ASAP. I contacted the person who recruited me, explained what was going on, and offered to step aside if that's what the committee wanted. He assured me that there would be no issue, and that it was my brain they wanted, not other parts. I gave him a statement to read to the organizing committee, along with a request to keep my transition confidential until the publicity was published.
My contact gave me a heads-up a week before the event publicity went to press, so I circulated an email to the organization's email distribution list coming out to the entire membership. It was my first public coming-out, and I was nervous about the possible responses. I was amazed at the response. I received a huge number of replies, and every single one of them was supportive and encouraging! My first real WOW moment!
I still had some jitters about coming out to my neighbours, people I see frequently in real life. We live in a really rural area: lots of farmers, fishermen and hillbillies. I was worried. I scheduled a session with my therapist to talk about my jitters. But, because of a winter storm, I went into the city the day before and stayed overnight. That gave me an evening and a morning to kill before my appointment, and that time was a turning point for me.
Once I had checked into my hotel, I changed into Kathy mode. I spent the evening with some of my support group friends at a comedy club, just being out and having a good time. The next morning, I wandered around the downtown area, window-shopping, talking to clerks and baristas. It was awesome! It was my first time totally unchained and free as myself, and I loved it! By the time of my afternoon appointment, my jitters were cured. My therapist and I went through the motions, and she offered my more appointments to talk some more about it. But when I got home, I realized that I didn't need them. More appointments would have pushed back my target coming-out date, and I had such a surge of self-confidence that I knew there was no way in heck I was going to do that.
I came out April 20th, and, again, it went better than I expected. Some of my neighbours had tears in their eyes when I told them about myself, and I got lots of hugs. A few didn't quite know what to make of it, but no one has been negative at all. Some who were noncommittal at first have since come around. I have been full-time ever since then.
I came out to a couple of other groups by mass email, and again, I got a lot of supportive responses, and none negative.
In July, my astronomy talk went really well. I was able to keep my voice in my desired range, and to talk fluently about my subject. The event itself was a camp-out for astronomers. My talk was aimed at beginners, and I got a lot of feedback from both beginners and experienced members that they got a lot out of it. Absolutely no one had an issue with who I was. The washrooms at the campground were open to other campers, of course, not just the astronomy nerds, but I had no issues from anyone. From which, I conclude that my presentation must be acceptable.
Also, in July, my name change paperwork went through, and I officially became Kathleen Lauren Walker. Unfortunately, I couldn't do my gender change at the same time, due to my British birth certificate, so my ID looks a little odd: feminine name, but a great big M.
The only negative of the year.
This fall, I started therapy aimed at getting my referral letters for GRS. And my doctor is finally happy with my lab results, so my prescription is now stable for the next six months.
All year, starting in January, I have been continuing electrolysis on my face. I knew, based on my pain response in other areas, that my upper and lower lip areas would really hurt, so I asked my dentist if she would freeze them. She was not only happy to do so, but she did it for free! Another WOW moment! So glad I did that, because my first clearing of those areas went super smoothly and painlessly.
This fall, my older brother drove across the country, coast to coast, ostensibly to see the country, but really to visit me. We had a great visit and talked about some personal stuff. I love hearing him refer to me as his sister!
So here I am, at the end of the year, and, for the first time in my life, I am truly myself. I found self-confidence that I didn't know I had. My wife continues to be my biggest supporter and my best friend. My friends and neighbours have all been wonderful. It has been the best year of my life.
And all through it, you all, my friends here on Susan's have been here to encourage me and to listen to my babbling. You are the best!
Happy New Year!
