oops and early changes

[Virginia 71]

Hi all and a slightly early Happy New Year!

First the oops. I was just reading the forums and my girlfriends kids stormed my desk to raid the big bag of gummi worms I got for Christmas and the "Susan's Place" banner was up on my screen when I stopped to hand over the bag. One is 10 and the other 13. Both can read, in our town for sure both know what Trans means. One has a friend with a trans family member and the other has trans classmates. Girlfriend knows but kids don't although they may have a clue since I recently had my ears pierced and have no hair on my arms anymore. Kinda nervous but not overly so. I am out to my girlfriend, sister-in-law, my boss (who is not only supportive but encouraging), and all my good friends but one. The one that doesn't know I have known forever and happens to be a guy. Not sure he will be surprised or not. He will be the hardest friend to come out to. All my other close friends are women.

SO....OOPS! I think the more comfortable I get the less cautious I seem to be about hiding it. Hopefully that doesn't turn out to be a mistake!

Anyway, early changes....today is three weeks on HRT. In the last few days I think perhaps I am noticing a few things but maybe I am just being optimistic? Skin seems tad softer. Body hair growth slowed slightly. Fingernails seem thinner/slightly brittle, pee smells difference and yesterday at work I felt oddly like a slightly different person in a positive way.

I know there are differences in emotions on HRT but do you really feel like a different person when they start to kick in?

No breast growth or real soreness but the muscles in my chest seem slightly softer and I noticed in my reflection in the window while going to bed that they um, sort of behave differently. How did it start for you all? Did you all of a sudden notice it started or did it slowly creep in? All the literature seems to say 3-6 months for breast development to begin and then lasts a few years I think. By 3-6 months do they mean actually starting to develop or to be noticeable?

Oh, also I don't think I have literally shrunk down there but it does seem to be hiding...like at the moment I am inside and plenty warm but its as if I were out in the cold. Imagined? Idk... Testicles also have funny sensation. Not pain just a sensation.

What I am not sure about is slight lower back pain. I think it is the normal aches and pains from work (I am an automotive technician and hunched over cars and lifting wheels all day.) Usually its right in muscles at belt area but a few times it was higher. Maybe not drinking enough water?

I know it is different for everyone and results may vary but does it all sound within the realm of common? I have read that sometimes HRT is not all that effective so of course I worry that will be the case for me. Paranoia I guess...

I kinda feel like a drama queen posting things so that have been discussed so much already in the forum...sorry if that is irritating to anyone!

Thanks!

v

[KathyLauren]

Congratulations on starting HRT!

I found that my skin was softer in about three weeks, like you.  Same with body hair, which continued to get finer and sparser for a couple of months.  My nipples started to tingle at about two weeks, and got sore shortly thereafter.  By one month, I needed a sports bra to protect them.  Most of my breast growth (so far - I'm an optimist) occurred between one month and five months on HRT.  They've been kind of dormant since then, though I've got another growth spurt happening now (11 months).

I never felt like a different person.  If you are expecting to feel like a totally different person, I think you would be setting yourself up for disappointment and doubts.  I am definitely still me.  I just feel like a better me.  I am calmer and happier.  Little things don't bother me as much.  Most of my disturbing mental chatter is gone.

[Jessica]

Hi Virginia 🙋‍♀️ I've had a similar experience as Kathy.  In the first month, my chest felt like it was under tension, kind of a tightness.  My skin absolutely got softer.  I felt what seemed to be a bit of mental tension also.  It was hard for me to think in a linear path.  That passed within a few days.  In the second month I could feel the start of my breast buds, achy and sore.  Third month, my areolae and nipples would swell and get very puffy.  My digestive system seems to be different, for one my pee smells different.  During the forth month, I could feel growth inside my breasts, achy and very itchy.  I'm certain a growth spurt happened at this point.  I increased bust dimension by an inch within a week or two.  My hair on my lower legs are thinning and fat deposits are being added to my butt (1") and face my cheeks.  It's been a few weeks now continuing with itchy spells and aches the norm.

Smiles, Jessica 💁‍♀️

[HappyMoni]

Virginia,
   Congrats on the HRT. It is less effective if you are older like your 50's. I definitely feel like a different person though. So much of my approach to life has changed. It is certainly not a sudden change, more like watching grass grow. At some point you look out and say, "When did the grass get so tall?" lol Changes I saw were peacefulness, being more emotionally alive, less anger, less needing to control things, and just seeing myself and others differently. All of it was gradual and I usually only saw it by looking backwards after some time.
   I think when we let the trans genie out of the bottle we really want to be all out. I found that I sometimes mistakenly, on purpose said or did things to hasten the outing process. Whoops, did I do that?
Moni

[Allison S]

I've noticed recently that I have this desire for men to notice me and treat me like a lady. I know it's a bit odd and I'm not sure it has to do with hrt? I get easily offended

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[davina61]

I am an auto tech as well and back ache goes with the job, put mine out a few weeks ago lifting BMW wheels as hard to grip and lift safely. Just started HRT 4 weeks now but not noticed much yet but possibly masked by the 7LB !!!! put on in last 3 weeks , to much Christmas cheer. Fully out now and loving it.

[Anne Blake]

Yes, all of those physical changes are to be expected as mentioned above, the time lines vary and the magnitude of change is different for all but so far I did not hear anyone warn you about the emotional rollercoaster that many experience. I need to carry a packet of tissues in my purse as I can and do cry on a moments notice. And this is not a bad thing. I am the same person but that person on mushy emotional steroids, and loving it!

Tia Anne

[Christy Lee]

Congrats on starting HRT

I've noticed recently that I have this desire for men to notice me and treat me like a lady. I know it's a bit odd and I'm not sure it has to do with hrt? I get easily offended

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Ive always had that desire, im not even on HRT, i experienced it once in boy mode a couple of months ago in the moment i remember thinking how embarrassing it was, but afterwards i thought how HOT it was getting noticed, them thinking i was a girl...

[Jessica]

Yes, all of those physical changes are to be expected as mentioned above, the time lines vary and the magnitude of change is different for all but so far I did not hear anyone warn you about the emotional rollercoaster that many experience. I need to carry a packet of tissues in my purse as I can and do cry on a moments notice. And this is not a bad thing. I am the same person but that person on mushy emotional steroids, and loving it!

Tia Anne

Oh yes, and then there is that.  I do find myself far more open and I engage in conversation easily now.  The tears and emotions are real for me.

[Allison S]

Congrats on starting HRT

Ive always had that desire, im not even on HRT, i experienced it once in boy mode a couple of months ago in the moment i remember thinking how embarrassing it was, but afterwards i thought how HOT it was getting noticed, them thinking i was a girl...

at the grocery store I like it when a guy just stops and waits for me to go. I'm like okay there are gentlemen out there lol that's so totally binary but like I don't care they can take a look at my butt while I'm walking past them hehe


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[Christy Lee]

at the grocery store I like it when a guy just stops and waits for me to go. I'm like okay there are gentlemen out there lol that's so totally binary but like I don't care they can take a look at my butt while I'm walking past them hehe


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That has never actually occurred to me ya know? but i get it, huh? having being so riddled with anxiety when in public, i guess i never stopped to think about it like that

[Jessica]

Virginia! I just had an oops moment.  Had my screen open on the counter and my grown son probably saw it open to Susan's. The banner wasn't showing but he could've read what it was about.  He didn't give any indication at all, so I don't know, or actually care.  Maybe we do it on purpose.

Smiles, Jessica 💁‍♀️

[Allison S]

That has never actually occurred to me ya know? but i get it, huh? having being so riddled with anxiety when in public, i guess i never stopped to think about it like that

It will! Trust me guys are just waiting for you out there [emoji4]

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[KathyLauren]

Virginia! I just had an oops moment.  Had my screen open on the counter and my grown son probably saw it open to Susan's. The banner wasn't showing but he could've read what it was about.  He didn't give any indication at all, so I don't know, or actually care.  Maybe we do it on purpose.

Smiles, Jessica 💁‍♀️

I know I did it on purpose.

Initially, before I was out to my wife, I tried to hide that huge, enormous, read-it-from-across-the-room banner at the top of every page on Susan's.  Click on a link: quick, scroll the page so the banner is gone!

But after a while, when I realized I had to come out to her, I stopped scrolling the pages.  I really hoped she would notice and ask about it, but she never did.  Yeah, so much for that technique.   

I ended up doing it the hard way. 

[HappyMoni]

at the grocery store I like it when a guy just stops and waits for me to go. I'm like okay there are gentlemen out there lol that's so totally binary but like I don't care they can take a look at my butt while I'm walking past them hehe


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Allison, know what you like and don't be ashamed, binary is cool. I have this old bus driver where I work who one day reaches out his hand and has life savers. He says, "Want some candy, little girl." It is a creepy kind of statement, but this guy was flirting with me. It was kind of validating.

Virginia and Davina, what is this a convention? I was an auto tech for many years. Haven't had back issues since I quit.

Kathy, you should ask her if she ever saw it. Maybe she did and didn't know how to bring it up.

Anne, ya had to go and scare her with the 'roller coaster' now didn't ya! lol
Moni

[Roll]

I'm just over 2 weeks and have had the lower back pain too. I think it's possibly not drinking enough water with the spiro, because that is what kidney pain can feel like.

I have definitely had the softening, with maybe some hair thinning (hard to tell), and the tiniest bit of soreness in breasts. But that might just be my imagination or sleeping weird.

[Virginia 71]

Virginia and Davina, what is this a convention? I was an auto tech for many years. Haven't had back issues since I quit.

LMAO...I was a CAD draftsman and 3D modeler for 17 years and was at the chiropractor all the time. Now its just lower back pain and not really being our of alignment. Just sort of sore from lifting heavy rims and being hunched over.

Thanks everyone for your comments! I wasn't really expecting to or wanting to feel like a totally different person but I don't think I would have been bothered by it either. My guess, it was a moment of being content with life now its moving in a positive direction, obstacles and concerns or not.

Have had some strife with my girlfriend over all this as most of us have with our partners. This morning she told me to do what I need to do. That has been a roller coaster and I won't go into it just because it is a long story. My guess is the details differ but the theme is the same as many here in the forums. I think its improving after a few things were straightened out but no matter what I feel like I am going to be OK. A big part of that is being able to ask questions here and look through all the previous threads. Thanks for that all. :-) Happy New Year! Hope 2018 is good to all of you!!!

[Jessica]

I'm just over 2 weeks and have had the lower back pain too. I think it's possibly not drinking enough water with the spiro, because that is what kidney pain can feel like.

I have definitely had the softening, with maybe some hair thinning (hard to tell), and the tiniest bit of soreness in breasts. But that might just be my imagination or sleeping weird.

At about that same point for me, my hips hurt for several weeks then went away.  I have heard that the estradiol can loosen ligaments in the hip area.