Jess’s mess

[Jessica]

@LizK @Kirsteneklund7 @RandyL

Hi Jess, I hear you in your concern about your marriage. My wife and I have been through two years of "interesting " times and I wouldn't say it's over. But we are both feeling much more positive at the conclusion of a 3 month separation and having worked out some decent compromises. Communication should help, but I get that it can be scary, what is said. I hope for the best for you both!

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I really hope things work out. I walk the tightrope every week with my marriage. Following your posts and wishing you the very best.
               Kirsten.

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Oh Jess its such an awful position to find yourself in, my heart goes out to you both because I doubt your wife is any happier about it than you are. You have talked extensively with the other gals and they have far more info than I have about your situation but I want to say to you that, it doesn't have to go badly. Much will depend on how your wife feels about being in a relationship with you and not him...My wife has still not told her work colleagues for fear of being singled out as "different". I do understand the practical reality that Laurie and Michelle both talk about.

I hope it works out for you
Take care

Liz

Thank you for your heartfelt comments and concern.  I am being positive about it all and actually believe we will work it out.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

[Jessica]

@Laurie @RandyL @LizK @Donica

There's a lovely picture!
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Thank you Donica, I like it too 🌸🌸🌸

Double trouble!!

Watch out for the transdynamic duo sisters!

Well at least neither of you is having any fun 

In truth Laurie and I had a very nice day together.  I am personally becoming very comfortable publicly presenting.  The common interactions with other folks out and about are always cordial w/o discriminations.  I especially find talking to other women very easy and received well by them, males are their typical aloofness w/o bringing anything to issue.

Laurie pushed me to my limit in other respects though.  She knows I appreciate fluid structure and put me in situations where I needed to work through being absent of it.  She also knows my fear triggers and employs them to wake me up.  Aren't sisters wonderful!?!

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

[Jessica]

Laurie and I had a late lunch and missed having Tillamook ice cream for dessert afterwards.  We were watching our girlish figures.
So Laurie made this for dinner for us.





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[Michelle_P]

Dinner:  Eat dessert first! 

Great wisdom there...

[Jessica]

Dinner:  Eat dessert first! 

Great wisdom there...

Or, if your still sated from lunch, dessert is dinner!

[Donica]

Laurie, I noticed the fishing poles in the background. I'm guessing the Bass fishing sucks up there but I'm betting the Trout, Walleye, Pike and Striped Bass fishing is great. Are you ladies up for some Sunday morning fishing? A big fat German Brown would cook up great on the BBQ for tonight's dinner. I forgot when the Salmon start to run? Yum! Smoked Salmon.

[Linde]

Good day Ladies

I am new here, and try to inhale all that I can.
It is interesting to read what HRT did to you Jessica.  I am not on any hormones yet, but i have a little head stat because of my androgynous biology.  I do not have any body,hair, no hair on arms legs or under the arms, and I never lost my soft bay skin.  I don't have an Adams Apple and have no receding hair line or bald spots.  And lately, my body decided to grow breasts.  I am now between an A and a B cup.  But I have to fight some things my body decided to be male.  One is the beard growth, moderate but still there, and the other is my chest size (I used to run a lot, and that may have caused a large chest),  Specifically my lowest rib pair is standing out almost as far as my boobs.  Do you have this problem or had it?  What can one do against this?
I will be a rather tall woman (once I done withe the transition), because I am 6'.  And along with that larger build come bigger feet.  My shoe size is 11 1/2 with a wide toe box.  Where in the world can one find dainty ladies shoes for that size?

I still have to learn a lot, and you girls have to help me along, pretty please!

[JudiBlueEyes]

Jess I'm sorry to read about your marriage whoa's but keep an open mind and open dialogue, and I believe you will make it to the other side all right.  Its worked for my wife and I.  Its a tough road we're on and it can often trigger other questions in our and our spouses minds about the direction we're on, collectively and on our own.  Hang in there. 

Also it does look like you had a great time with Laurie.  Wonderful!
Judi

[Jessica]

@Dietlind

Good day Ladies

I am new here, and try to inhale all that I can.
It is interesting to read what HRT did to you Jessica.  I am not on any hormones yet, but i have a little head stat because of my androgynous biology.  I do not have any body,hair, no hair on arms legs or under the arms, and I never lost my soft bay skin.  I don't have an Adams Apple and have no receding hair line or bald spots.  And lately, my body decided to grow breasts.  I am now between an A and a B cup.  But I have to fight some things my body decided to be male.  One is the beard growth, moderate but still there, and the other is my chest size (I used to run a lot, and that may have caused a large chest),  Specifically my lowest rib pair is standing out almost as far as my boobs.  Do you have this problem or had it?  What can one do against this?
I will be a rather tall woman (once I done withe the transition), because I am 6'.  And along with that larger build come bigger feet.  My shoe size is 11 1/2 with a wide toe box.  Where in the world can one find dainty ladies shoes for that size?

I still have to learn a lot, and you girls have to help me along, pretty please!

I'm glad to help with whatever I can.  As far as my body and how it's reacted to hrt is totally a ymmv (your mileage may vary) situation.  Everybody is different and genetics plays a big part.
My mother was well endowed both in her hips (butt) and breasts.  I am lucky for that. 
Hopefully you will talk to your doctor about the effects that hrt may have on you.

I have no thought of why your ribs are the way they are, everyone is different.


Tall women are a fact in nature, proof is my wife.  She stands 2" taller than me at 6'.
As far as shoe size, I'm a size 11 men's or a varied range from size 10-13 women's.  It is tough finding cute shoes, for sure.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

[Jessica]

@Donica

Laurie, I noticed the fishing poles in the background. I'm guessing the Bass fishing sucks up there but I'm betting the Trout, Walleye, Pike and Striped Bass fishing is great. Are you ladies up for some Sunday morning fishing? A big fat German Brown would cook up great on the BBQ for tonight's dinner. I forgot when the Salmon start to run? Yum! Smoked Salmon.

I have been bugging Laurie to go fishing since I met her.  She is stubborn about paying the high cost of the fishing license.....:sigh:....and the salmon are running right now .......

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

[Jessica]

@JudiBlueEyes

Jess I'm sorry to read about your marriage whoa's but keep an open mind and open dialogue, and I believe you will make it to the other side all right.  Its worked for my wife and I.  Its a tough road we're on and it can often trigger other questions in our and our spouses minds about the direction we're on, collectively and on our own.  Hang in there. 

Also it does look like you had a great time with Laurie.  Wonderful!
Judi

My wife went to her first group therapy for spouses and significant others tonight...she's on her way home.  We will see how it went soon enough.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

[Northern Star Girl]

@JudiBlueEyes

My wife went to her first group therapy for spouses and significant others tonight...she's on her way home.  We will see how it went soon enough.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
Great news!   This is a good start for her and for you. 
I am hoping and trusting that good things will be happening between you two and there will be continued progress.

Please forgive me if I am behind the times but have you and her done couples therapy yet?

As always I am wishing you well.
Hugs,
Danielle

[Laurie]

Laurie, I noticed the fishing poles in the background. I'm guessing the Bass fishing sucks up there but I'm betting the Trout, Walleye, Pike and Striped Bass fishing is great. Are you ladies up for some Sunday morning fishing? A big fat German Brown would cook up great on the BBQ for tonight's dinner. I forgot when the Salmon start to run? Yum! Smoked Salmon.

@Donica

I have been bugging Laurie to go fishing since I met her.  She is stubborn about paying the high cost of the fishing license.....:sigh:....and the salmon are running right now .......

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

I no longer fish in Oregon since the license cost + fees have made the cost over $70 for a yearly resident license. In addition it takes a PHD in foreign languages to interpret the excessively complex fishing laws summary which is now around a hundred pages. Even if you could decipher it I still cannot tell if it is legal to catch a certain fish where ever I happen to be fishing.  I finally decided to quite wasting my money. Instead I by a yearly non resident fishing license for Missouri when I visit for $21.00. I usually get at least 3 weeks fishing there a year.

Hugs,
  Laurie

[Donica]

Jessica, I'm glad to hear you and your wife are seeking therapy. I am hopeful that everything will work out for you both. Update us when you feel up to it.

Laurie, I here you. I haven't looked into a fishing license in years. I don't remember SoCal being quite that expensive but close. We also have reg's. Some of the streams down here require barbless hooks and some are even catch and release only. You don't want to be caught not following the rules. The fines are steep.

Hugs ladies,
Donica.

[Jessica]

Hi friends.....The political threads that have divided many on the site has brought me down.
The feeling of family here has been sullied by the infighting.  As a moderator I enjoyed helping those in need and also steering members in more constructive ways to behave properly on the forums.  The thing I disliked the most is when a member attack's another member.  Though it's still not allowed, it is being accomplished by spouting their rhetoric from both sides.

I need to sit down and think......why did this need to happen?
I think the political exchanges have created unseen consequences that may be hard to repair.

Hugs.....Jessica

[Northern Star Girl]

Hi friends.....The political threads that have divided many on the site has brought me down.
The feeling of family here has been sullied by the infighting.  As a moderator I enjoyed helping those in need and also steering members in more constructive ways to behave properly on the forums.  The thing I disliked the most is when a member attack's another member.  Though it's still not allowed, it is being accomplished by spouting their rhetoric from both sides.

I need to sit down and think......why did this need to happen?
I think the political exchanges have created unseen consequences that may be hard to repair.

Hugs.....Jessica

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
I hear you and agree wholeheartedly with you.  I am steering far away from any political threads and discussions myself.  I am concentrating on encouraging , supporting and welcoming our members in their transition journey... that makes me most happy to be able to do that.

I refuse to get sucked into that political fire-storm... it seems to pit one member against another and that is NOT what the Forums is about...  I envision the Susan's Place Forums as a Friendly, Safe, Happy, and Supportive place for all members here.   I am saddened to see things that are contrary to that.

Stay strong and stay focused on your passion that you enjoy here on the forums... you do such a tremendous job in what you have been doing.
Hugs and hugs to you, my Calfornia-Girl and good friend.
Danielle

[LizK]

Hi Jess

I was heartened to hear that your wife has sought some help. I hope you two can make it work.

Unfortunately I think you are right about the political thread I think it has certainly divided not only this place but a whole nation. Hopefully a time will come when this divide is healed...best its sooner.

Take care

Liz

[Northern Star Girl]

@Jessica
Dear Jess...
How are things in Northern California for my California Girl sis?

I trust that things are going well for you and your wife....   
What interesting things did you do or are doing this weekend?
... and what does next week hold for you?

Curious minds want to know...
I check your thread every time I log in to the Forums ..... 

Hugs and more hugs,
Danielle   NothernStar*Girl

[Jessica]

@Alaskan Danielle

@Jessica
Dear Jess...
How are things in Northern California for my California Girl sis?

I trust that things are going well for you and your wife....   
What interesting things did you do or are doing this weekend?
... and what does next week hold for you?

Curious minds want to know...
I check your thread every time I log in to the Forums ..... 

Hugs and more hugs,
Danielle   NothernStar*Girl

Danielle, I wish I could give a clear picture of my wife and I.  Yes, she did go to therapy, and no she still isn't communicating except to say she is not a happy camper.  She has given knee jerk parameters to me but in truth she does not know how she feels. 
Even though it has been more than a year, I have to give her the benefit of the doubt and treat her as if it was day one after her group therapy.  We still kiss, hug and say our I love you's, but it does seem one degree cooler between us.  That may be my insecurities talking though.
This biggest obstacle is her group sessions being twice a month, on a day she only occasionally has off.  Her next projected date is next year....oh joy....
So as I put it to Laurie this morning, "I feel like I'm walking a tightrope while doing the limbo"

I also have a mindful of worries that I would need to PM you about. 
It's almost Halloween and it has become scary in the world.


My upcoming week will be one of introspection, I will be doing something that I have never done except in guy mode.  I get to put everything together for a trip to Pismo Beach (actually it's now called Oceano Dunes) near San Luis Obispo.  This is bringing all the gear necessary for a safe 4 nights on the dunes.  Our self contained toyhauler holds the RZR in the back and sleeps eight.  Avoid the high tides and you've got a million dollar view!  My wife and a friend (the running gal pal that doesn't know) will be leaving on Thursday and returning on Monday.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

[Jessica]

Halloween 6 years back at Pismo Beach




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