Bari Jo's Corner

[Roll]

Today is my first Valentine's Day after I accepted myself.  I'm surprised by the feeling of sadness.  All my life I have sequestered myself away from companionship, love, anything since I was so uncomfortable with myself. This year seeing all the love from couples, I actually feel sadness. I'm realizing I had to learn to accept and love myself before I could accept love from another or give love. I feel that now.  On a day like today it sucks, but it's a reminder that I am more healthy than I was before.  I'm hoping soon, I will be able to love another, crush on someone and let them love me too.

Bari Jo

Same for me. I've always sort of ignored Valentine's day in the past, didn't even give it a second thought. Today though... I didn't want to get out of bed. I wasn't depressed per se, just plain old sad and lonely and wanting to sleep the day away.

Someone from forum sent me a valentines day e-mail though which perked me up a bit, and I realized... screw it, there's always next year, and I'm not really alone anymore. So many people here find themselves in the same position, in that awkward transition limbo, and just like being trans itself, it helps to know there are other people out there.

Anyway, as Jessica said.... Happy Valentine's Day Bari Jo!!

[Faith]

I have all red velvet nails and fully planned on dressing up at work .. work got in the way and I'm working from home today. I'll have to wear it tomorrow but it's not the same.

I've never had desire to dress up to match any occasion, something's changed, I'm not sure what ...........

[Cassi]

I have all red velvet nails and fully planned on dressing up at work .. work got in the way and I'm working from home today. I'll have to wear it tomorrow but it's not the same.

I've never had desire to dress up to match any occasion, something's changed, I'm not sure what ...........

Don't worry, Saint Paddy's day is just around the corner!

[Sarah_P]

I've been the same when it came to Valentines. Yeah, now that I'm actually living my life for the first time, I feel even more desperately lonely than I already had been. I'm trying to put it out of my mind by focusing on my coding lessons and work, but it keeps distracting me. My mom's taking me out to dinner tonight (not because it's Valentines!), so at least I won't be spending the evening alone (like every Valentine's for the last 25 years).

So.... Happy Valentine's Day Bari Jo!! And Happy Valentine's Day to you, too Ellie!

[Bari Jo]

Thanks everybody, you are my Valentine and I am yours.  We all do need to get a significant other of our own though.  On the plus side I was called that somebody is delivering flowers to me.  I'm guessing from my parents, but by the end of the work day, they still weren't at the front desk:(

Bari Jo

[Jessica]

So sorry about the flowers. 
Here's some for you! 

💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐
🌸🌸🌸🌸🌷🌷🌷🌷🌹🌹
🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀
🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺

[steph2.0]

Happy Valentines Day, Bari Jo! Though it's virtual, you're never alone here. You have so many friends who know exactly what you're experiencing, are on your side, and are cheering for you. I'm one of your biggest fans. Have a good day, girlfriend.

Stephanie

[Bari Jo]

I just got back from a dinner with my parents and sister.  This was a nice restaurant so I had to wear a nice pair of pants and dress shirt.  I am not full time yet so this is the last of my male clothes.  I kept this for sentimental reasons but after putting them on and seeing myself in the mirror I immediately felt uncomfortable.  You see, I looked good, for a guy.  It felt like a giant step backwards to me.  I couldn't wait to return home and put on anything else.  If I looked feminine still in the male clothes I wouldn't have felt this way.  I'm tempted to purge the rest of the male clothes I have here to not feel that way again.  Decisions decisions, I have a lot if nice cowboy boots:(

Onto better, more fun transition related stuff.  I have an appointment at Sephora on Monday.  I'm excited and scared by this.  I'm getting made up at Sephora in the middle of the day and we are going to lunch after in full makeup.  This will be my first time out like this.  I may show a picture after, depending...

Bari Jo

[Sarah_P]

Onto better, more fun transition related stuff.  I have an appointment at Sephora on Monday.  I'm excited and scared by this.  I'm getting made up at Sephora in the middle of the day and we are going to lunch after in full makeup.  This will be my first time out like this.  I may show a picture after, depending...

Bari Jo

That sounds so fun! I've wanted to do that for so long, but Sephora is SOOOO espensive. I know it's easier said than done, but relax and enjoy yourself!

[Bari Jo]

That sounds so fun! I've wanted to do that for so long, but Sephora is SOOOO espensive. I know it's easier said than done, but relax and enjoy yourself!

I so agree, however if you join their program it's free.  I'm doing the free if you buy $50 one for 45 min.  I've got a few ladies with me that will tell me what not to get there because of $$$$.

Bari Jo

[Laurie]

Oh Bari Jo,

   Must you all run past me in achieving new things in their transition? This  make up adventure is still one I have yet to experience along with so many others. Go with your girlfriends and enjoy it for all it is worth. A day out with the girls is such fun. Just ask Jessica. She still might be floating from her day with Michelle and I.
  And Hun, You will have a girlfriend document the day with pictures and share them with us. Not options here. You will do it.

Hugs,
   Laurie

[Roll]

I can't wait to get to an area I can actually do that sort of stuff in. PICTURES ARE A MUST!

[Megan.]

Ooo,  enjoy Sephora hun. I did a similar thing at Mac, it's lovely being pampered, take the opportunity to ask any questions and get tips! X

Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk

[Bari Jo]

Thanks everybody.  Today is the Sephora Day.  I can't wait.  The camera is charged.  I'm counting down the hours!

And Laurie, no worries, there will be your time too.  I would join you if we were near each other.  I'm doing this too early really.  I won't see my sister for a few months here and wanted to do it with her.

Bari Jo

[Bari Jo]

I just got back from Sephora,   this was great fun.  The cosmetics girl was a twenty something, perfect skin, about 95 lbs.  She's basically exactly the type of girl that sets off my dysphoria.  She was however, so nice I didbt have that trigger.  We met and she did a crazy amount of prep work on my skin and eyes.  Who knew beauty requires all that.  Then we did a test to match my skin to the foundation. After that she went off for supplies to give this old girl some life.  We did a bit of orange masking for the lip area, nowhere else, which made me feel good.  We did a minor amount of concealer for the eyes, a light top eye shadow, mid medium shadow, and a deeper lid shadow.  Then afterwards an eyeliner, which we all agree, I don't need and shouldn't do.  Then added mascara, and we are split in that.  I know I like it, but the girls I was with said to not get that.  They said they try to get lashes like mine, not go beyond it.  So I won't do that afterwards.  We added a tiny amount of blush and a lighter lipstick.  After we were done, we took a picture, which I was so excited to see if the how old site gendered me.  It said male, boo.

Then we went for a late lunch in makeup and nobody paid a second glance.  We ate, had a drink and went home.
However, when I got home I took a picture in the bathroom.  That genders female, Yay!  The picture still isn't as good as my avatar.  The Avatar was digital makeup, and honestly a better picture to start with.  However, Its using pink tones rather than neutrals.  I think pinks work better for me.  I bought a couple things at sephora to make the quota at the end as well.

After coming home my sister and I were excited to show my mom, and my mom brought us all into the bathroom to show me how to put on lip liner and lipstick.  We had a big giggle moment, because it's so silly and we were so close doing all this together.  My sister told me I better get used to it, since that's what all girls do together in the bathroom.

All told, I will cherish this day.  I must thank my neighbor and my sister for humoring me with this tiny trip.  It was my first time being out in makeup and gave me confidence to try more.







Bari Jo

[Roll]

You look great!!!

[Megan.]

Looks great hun, lovely look on you. X

Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk

[Bari Jo]

Thanks you two.  I know I really need hair to put any of this off.  This time next month I will be getting my hairline restored, Yay!!!

Serious question though.  I've been looking forward to wearing a bra, and don't know when I should start.  My girls don't feel like they are getting any bigger.  I wanted a B, but I'm more like an A or less, not sure.  I don't feel like I need a bra, but want one, conflicted.  What do the smaller girls think on this matter?

Bari Jo

[Laurie]

Hi Bari Jo,

Now listen here girl, Wear the Bra!. Wearing a bra is a girl's rite of passage and hon we are long overdue. Wear the Bra! I don't need to wear one either except to hold in the tips but I wear my bras everyday.

As for the Day out at Sephoria's I'll call it a success and anyone's book. Just for the experience of it. That's is good enough and you got to be out with your face on for once "with the girls". That's to be treasured Bari.

Makeup  Assessment:  It appears that you got a good daytime look and that is what you want for being out in public during the day. Just another girl. Now if you want to attract some attention... Well I am sure you sister or even your mom can show you about that.  During the day less is more. For an evening out the a touch more is called for and if you want to be noticed then you go for the glam look.  A girl makes up her look to fit the occasion. You will learn Hun.

The look was good for the day's events you enjoyed. You are correct more hair would be a big help and I can see you looking cute with the right style. Again that is a custom job. Also I will agree that a pinker tone might do a little more for you. Experiment and find out what you like. Remember practice makes perfect. Girl have years to perfect their brand and you are just getting started. Have fun with it.

Hugs,
  Laurie

  P.S. I kind of cheated Bari Jo. I have played with makeup for quite a few years. What I lack is that contouring, correcting and concealing stuff. The rest I think I can do a pretty good job on.

[Jessica]

You look wonderful, and so happy too.  I tried to get Michelle and Laurie to go on our day , but Michelle was unsure of where to go in the area.  Next time Laurie!