Chelsea's Transition Adventure

[Dena]

It's very difficult to see now but the answer you have now may not be the last one. My mother had a difficult time accepting my transition and for years she called me by my old name. It was somewhat embarrassing when we were in the tall woman's shop and the only other person there was the sales lady. Eventually she only used my new name and I had a discussion with her where she said what made her accept me was the determination I showed throughout my transition. Your mother may not realize that her current views are subject to change. It will take all the determination you have but I am sure your up to the task.

[pamelatransuk]

I am so sorry to read this Chelsea.

I know how painful it is when your Mum disapproves and insults you - I loved my Mum but she never accepted the way I was/am but I was able to forgive her as she was born in the 1920s. She died in 2015.

I hope your Mum comes round in due time when she will see how much happier you are in the future.

I appreciate your pain now. You are in my prayers.

Hugs

Pamela

I am truly sorry Chelsea to hear once more that your mother says she will never accept you and hence I reiterate my previous thoughts above.

I would add that although it is hurtful and may remain so for some time, even family members and even older ones can change especially when they see over time how much happier you are. Their eyes can indeed be opened.

I repeat "you are in my prayers".

Hugs

Pamela

[Chelsea]

Thank you everyone.
This is hard for me because even though I am even a little angry, I still must talk to her everyday. If mom don't feel like cooking or anything she will just go to bed at night with nothing. I had to take her to the emergency room last year because she was severely dehydrated. Last night I had my sister call and check on her.

What started this was I ask her yesterday if she was going to be alright when my body starts changing? I wasn't trying to start a argument but, my body is changing and I cant hide this much longer. I built my machine shop on my mothers property in 2013 because the house that my dad built and the property will go to me one day anyway and at the time I lived there.

I just wanted to let you girls know that even though I get upset sometimes and post well.......disturbing post about my adventures, They are real. If I only post the good things in this transition then its not going to benefit anyone that might be following me. Just know that I am a very determined person and would never harm myself. I, like a lot of people say things I really don't mean when I'm really upset. I will continue going forward in this transition and will not stop. I don't feel like the old me anymore so its hard to keep "playing" like the old me.

SO after all this I still am going to the shop today and crank up the music and put some parts out to sell. If mom comes out and talks or not I'm fine either way. I will still be nice and bring her dinner just like always, even if she don't say a word to me. I simply refuse to be unhappy.

Big hugs to all of you. [emoji171]

Chelsea

[Northern Star Girl]

Thank you everyone.
This is hard for me because even though I am even a little angry, I still must talk to her everyday. If mom don't feel like cooking or anything she will just go to bed at night with nothing. I had to take her to the emergency room last year because she was severely dehydrated. Last night I had my sister call and check on her.

What started this was I ask her yesterday if she was going to be alright when my body starts changing? I wasn't trying to start a argument but, my body is changing and I cant hide this much longer. I built my machine shop on my mothers property in 2013 because the house that my dad built and the property will go to me one day anyway and at the time I lived there.

I just wanted to let you girls know that even though I get upset sometimes and post well.......disturbing post about my adventures, They are real. If I only post the good things in this transition then its not going to benefit anyone that might be following me. Just know that I am a very determined person and would never harm myself. I, like a lot of people say things I really don't mean when I'm really upset. I will continue going forward in this transition and will not stop. I don't feel like the old me anymore so its hard to keep "playing" like the old me.

SO after all this I still am going to the shop today and crank up the music and put some parts out to sell. If mom comes out and talks or not I'm fine either way. I will still be nice and bring her dinner just like always, even if she don't say a word to me. I simply refuse to be unhappy.

Big hugs to all of you. [emoji171]

Chelsea

Dear Chelsea: Yes indeed, you go girl.....  even though life will throw you a few curves, it is so important to stay on task and keep your internal fire going to reach for your transition goals.   
As you have been doing, continue to be good to your mother.  I find it very heartening to hear that you still take loving care of her even though she has not accepted "Chelsea" ... she will always see you and love you as one of her children.

Please, Chelsea, always feel free to post about your frustrations, disappointments, failures... and about your successes and good times.
This is a great place to vent to share your feelings and your thoughts with like-minded members here on the Forums...  you have certainly found friends here that care and that are supporting to you.   

I have often told my readers that writing about stuff that we are dealing with in life can absolutely be very good personal therapy... it can help us to work out these issues in our own mind and in our life.   

Personally, I also keep a pen and paper journal, complete with doodling, to keep track of my life goings on...  Even as a school boy I kept a journal and there are times in my life that I will sit down and read what I have gone through.  All of that makes it easier to see the path I took to conquer my life problems.   There may be some more personal things that you are tossing around in your mind that you might not want to post on the Forums, then your personal, at home,  journal is a good place to write down stuff like that.

As always, I am continually looking forward to clicking on your thread to read about your progress...
... please keep your updates coming, good or bad, but try to keep them coming.
Hugs and well wishes to you,
Danielle

[JudiBlueEyes]

Chelsea life is full of ups and downs and if you only posted nice stories we would probably wonder how you scored such a wonderful life!  Writing our thoughts is cathartic.  It has certainly benefited me to keep a log.  I can tell, as can others, that you are in this for the long haul.  I can see in your words that overall you are a happy woman and that is all that matters.  Keep your head high.  Be kind to your mother as you always have been.  Hopefully she will come around to see you as the loving person you are.
Judi

[Jayne01]

Well Mom just told me that she can't accept me transitioning and never will. So........
I just lost my 82 year old mother I guess.

Chelsea, I am so sorry your mother has said these words to you. Don't give up. Her views can change. After only a few weeks since  coming out to her, it is still early stages. Her feelings can change as she gets to know Chelsea. The best way to help her accept you is for you to continue loving her and doing everything you have always done for her. You are still the same person, only much happier. Give her a chance to get to know the same but happier version of yourself. I hoping she learns to accept you for who you are. There is also the very real chance that she may never accept you. Don't let her beliefs make you lose sight of what you need to do for yourself. Be the best version of yourself that you can and then it is up to others if they accept you or not, at least you will always know you have been true to yourself. That can't be taken away from you.

(((Big Hug)))

My thoughts are with you.

Jayne

[Chelsea]

I've been feeling a lot better in the past few days. Mom has decided to talk to me again. She came out to the shop today and walked in on me singing. lol  She ask me why I was so happy and I told her I'm always happy now. Hopefully she will come around soon. My sister told me that mom thinks she can change my mind so now I know she just don't understand.
No changing this girls mind. Its not a choice and some people just don't get it.

Business is back going again. I scored another big job today by sending a old friend a email and ended up that he needed some custom parts! I got the job by pure accident if you believe in luck.

I went to my 4th voice therapy yesterday. Nothing really to report on that, its still practice, practice, practice.

Last thing, I grabbed up my girlfriends cheap non prescription glasses today being silly and thought they actually looked cute. Sometimes I think I look decent and others I just want to cry, so either I'm a nut or I look different at times.

Hugs to all you ladies. [emoji171]

Chelsea

[Northern Star Girl]

I've been feeling a lot better in the past few days. Mom has decided to talk to me again. She came out to the shop today and walked in on me singing. lol  She ask me why I was so happy and I told her I'm always happy now. Hopefully she will come around soon. My sister told me that mom thinks she can change my mind so now I know she just don't understand.
No changing this girls mind. Its not a choice and some people just don't get it.

Business is back going again. I scored another big job today by sending a old friend a email and ended up that he needed some custom parts! I got the job by pure accident if you believe in luck.

I went to my 4th voice therapy yesterday. Nothing really to report on that, its still practice, practice, practice.

Last thing, I grabbed up my girlfriends cheap non prescription glasses today being silly and thought they actually looked cute. Sometimes I think I look decent and others I just want to cry, so either I'm a nut or I look different at times.

Hugs to all you ladies. [emoji171]

Chelsea

Chelsea:  Thank your for your happy posting today and posting your beautiful picture...  and your girlfriend's glasses look great on you.   
Oh, and that is wonderful about your increased business .... keep making those spur of the moment contacts with friends and past customers... .... and make new customers!   Kudos to you for not giving up on your business prospects.
Well, tell me more about your voice lessons, the last time we talked about your voice lessons was that you were finally going back for your 2nd lesson and got your voice up to 170Hz female range pitch.
Keep up with your positive attitude and good luck with your mother.... it is good that your sister is on your side regarding that.
Keep your updates coming....  your curious readers demand it!!!
Hugs,
Danielle

[JudiBlueEyes]

The glasses look good.  Is there nothing you can't wear that doesn't look wonderful?  Keep smiling girl.

Great news about the shop.  I knew you've rise above the bad times.  That's good your mother came out to the shop and saw that you were happy.  I think she may come around to recognizing the real you is here to stay. 
Judi

[Jayne01]

I've been feeling a lot better in the past few days. Mom has decided to talk to me again. She came out to the shop today and walked in on me singing. lol  She ask me why I was so happy and I told her I'm always happy now. Hopefully she will come around soon. My sister told me that mom thinks she can change my mind so now I know she just don't understand.
No changing this girls mind. Its not a choice and some people just don't get it.

Business is back going again. I scored another big job today by sending a old friend a email and ended up that he needed some custom parts! I got the job by pure accident if you believe in luck.

I went to my 4th voice therapy yesterday. Nothing really to report on that, its still practice, practice, practice.

Last thing, I grabbed up my girlfriends cheap non prescription glasses today being silly and thought they actually looked cute. Sometimes I think I look decent and others I just want to cry, so either I'm a nut or I look different at times.

Hugs to all you ladies. [emoji171]

Chelsea

Wow! Chelsea, you look awesome! Those glasses suit you very well.

Great update! I think your Mum will eventually figure it out. She is from a different generation, it's no surprise she doesn't fully understand what it means to be trans. In her mind she is being a good mother by trying to change your mind. Heck! I even thought being trans was a lifestyle choice once upon a time. Do your best to educate her and keep showing her this is who you are and how happy it makes you.

Oh, I am so happy your business is back on track. Keep that brain of yours ticking over to bring in any new work you can get. Someone I know here keeps saying that busy people are happy people (did I say that right, Danielle?). She is correct!

Yes, please tell us more about your voice lessons. My voice is something I am currently struggling with, so I am eager to hear about other peoples progress.

Hugs,
Jayne

[Chelsea]

Chelsea:  Thank your for your happy posting today and posting your beautiful picture...  and your girlfriend's glasses look great on you.   
Oh, and that is wonderful about your increased business .... keep making those spur of the moment contacts with friends and past customers... .... and make new customers!   Kudos to you for not giving up on your business prospects.
Well, tell me more about your voice lessons, the last time we talked about your voice lessons was that you were finally going back for your 2nd lesson and got your voice up to 170Hz female range pitch.
Keep up with your positive attitude and good luck with your mother.... it is good that your sister is on your side regarding that.
Keep your updates coming....  your curious readers demand it!!!
Hugs,
Danielle

Thank you Danielle.
I'm up to 206hz now and can actually say "hi my name is Chelsea" lol its not much but I'm starting to hear a little bit of what Chelsea is going to sound like and its not to bad. I sound stupid but when I play it back it sounds decent. I cant practice but about 15 minuets a day because my voice gets really tired. I will get there one day and I'm working hard on my voice right now.

Hugs,
         Chelsea

[Chelsea]

The glasses look good.  Is there nothing you can't wear that doesn't look wonderful?  Keep smiling girl.

Great news about the shop.  I knew you've rise above the bad times.  That's good your mother came out to the shop and saw that you were happy.  I think she may come around to recognizing the real you is here to stay. 
Judi

Judi that is so sweet.
I wish I could see what you do. I think mom will come around but I'm not out of the woods for a while.

Hugs,
       Chelsea

[Chelsea]

Wow! Chelsea, you look awesome! Those glasses suit you very well.

Great update! I think your Mum will eventually figure it out. She is from a different generation, it's no surprise she doesn't fully understand what it means to be trans. In her mind she is being a good mother by trying to change your mind. Heck! I even thought being trans was a lifestyle choice once upon a time. Do your best to educate her and keep showing her this is who you are and how happy it makes you.

Oh, I am so happy your business is back on track. Keep that brain of yours ticking over to bring in any new work you can get. Someone I know here keeps saying that busy people are happy people (did I say that right, Danielle?). She is correct!

Yes, please tell us more about your voice lessons. My voice is something I am currently struggling with, so I am eager to hear about other peoples progress.

Hugs,
Jayne

Thank you Jayne!
I posted about my voice therapy above before I seen your post. Yeah I'm starting to think mom will be ok, otherwise she would not come around so much. I'm just trying to stay positive all the time.

Hugs,
       Chelsea

[Dena]

Addendum to my previous post. One of the reasons my mother was so slow to come around was because the difficulty I faced in my transition really prevented me from being that type of happy. It was almost 5 years of work before I reached the point you're at now. In addition, much of that time I wasn't around my mother so she didn't have a good opportunity to see the changes that were taking place in me. Your mother being able to see you daily makes it likely she will come around sooner than latter.

[Chelsea]

Addendum to my previous post. One of the reasons my mother was so slow to come around was because the difficulty I faced in my transition really prevented me from being that type of happy. It was almost 5 years of work before I reached the point you're at now. In addition, much of that time I wasn't around my mother so she didn't have a good opportunity to see the changes that were taking place in me. Your mother being able to see you daily makes it likely she will come around sooner than latter.

I hope you are right Dena. I love my mother and would hate to loose her. Even if she does accept me I don't think she will never understand. She thinks its a choice and has told me that.

Hugs,
        Chelsea

[Jayne01]

I hope you are right Dena. I love my mother and would hate to loose her. Even if she does accept me I don't think she will never understand. She thinks its a choice and has told me that.

Hugs,
        Chelsea

She currently thinks it's a choice. That can change as she gets to know you and learns more about what being transgender means. Don't give up hope.

Jayne

[Dena]

It's very difficult for a CIS person to understand what we feel. It's even difficult for us to explain what we feel to them because they don't have the frame of reference to understand what we feel. About the only thing they can understand is the change in how we feel about ourselves and others. When they see how somebody who has been unhappy much of their life becomes somebody who's enjoyable to be around, they understand that it's was something we had to do.

This is also why we often find being around other transgender people so comforting. For the first time in our life somebody understands what we feel as they have also felt the same. I know the first time I attended group therapy, I never felt anything like that before and it  was like I knew everybody in the room better than I knew anybody before.

[Laurie]

 Hi Girlfriend,

  You do look cute in those glasses and you look cute without them too. Heck you are just cute girly.  Glad to hear the work is working out again. catch those bills up if you can. You stick to your convictions on who you are girl. Your mom will either come around or she won't. Of course we are all hoping with you that she will.

Hugs,
  Laurie

[maybesoph]

Hi Chelsea

So so happy your mom is talking to you again. Think everyone's right give her time to come around & just carry on being yourself towards her, it'll work itself out.
Those glasses actually look awesome on you, your too hard on yourself you look fantastic [emoji178]

Sophie

Sent from my SM-G950F using Tapatalk

[KathyLauren]

I've been feeling a lot better in the past few days. Mom has decided to talk to me again. She came out to the shop today and walked in on me singing. lol  She ask me why I was so happy and I told her I'm always happy now. Hopefully she will come around soon. My sister told me that mom thinks she can change my mind so now I know she just don't understand.
No changing this girls mind. Its not a choice and some people just don't get it.

Business is back going again. I scored another big job today by sending a old friend a email and ended up that he needed some custom parts! I got the job by pure accident if you believe in luck.

I went to my 4th voice therapy yesterday. Nothing really to report on that, its still practice, practice, practice.

Last thing, I grabbed up my girlfriends cheap non prescription glasses today being silly and thought they actually looked cute. Sometimes I think I look decent and others I just want to cry, so either I'm a nut or I look different at times.

Hugs to all you ladies. [emoji171]

Chelsea

OMG, Chelsea, you look adorable!!!  You were right that you look cute in the glasses.

Glad to hear that your business is picking up.  It is more than luck: you went out and marketed yourself.  I am also glad to hear that you are mostly happy, and that your mother is starting to come around.