Someone who knew me as male did not recognize me as female

[AnnMarie2017]

This just happened about 30 minutes ago.

I work the night shift at a hotel. We have a guest who comes occasionally. I just went full-time about a week ago. He was sitting in the lobby, waiting for breakfast to start, when I came in. He asked what had happened to [deadname]. I was uncomfortable, so of course I reverted to what I knew: male behavior. I said, "[Deadname] is no more. I'm Ann," and stuck out my hand. He took it, and then commented on how he had expected to see [deadname] but saw me instead.

I think he'll figure it out, in time. But I never expected something like that to happen.

[AnonyMs]

I like the answer. True, but subtly misleading.

[Gertrude]

Cool


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

[Chelsea]

Great story. I hope that happens to me. lol

Hugs,

  Chelsea

[AnneK]

I had a similar experience back when I was cross dressing.  I ran into a couple of friends at a fetish party, but didn't say anything.  They didn't recognize me until after I changed to go home.  I was quite literally face to face with one of them too.

[Northern Star Girl]

This just happened about 30 minutes ago.

I work the night shift at a hotel. We have a guest who comes occasionally. I just went full-time about a week ago. He was sitting in the lobby, waiting for breakfast to start, when I came in. He asked what had happened to [deadname]. I was uncomfortable, so of course I reverted to what I knew: male behavior. I said, "[Deadname] is no more. I'm Ann," and stuck out my hand. He took it, and then commented on how he had expected to see [deadname] but saw me instead.

I think he'll figure it out, in time. But I never expected something like that to happen.

@AnnMarie2017:  Wow, that is a terrific thing that happened to you.  Certainly this greatly boosts your confidence and self-assurance in your transitioning.   Thanks for your good report and sharing it with all of us....  many here need to hear reports like this... looking forward to more updates from you in the future.
Aspiringperson

[pamelatransuk]

Well AnnMarie you really have solved it.

I'm sure once again you're feeling "Top of the World".


Pamela (also Carpenters fan like you)

[krobinson103]

That just happened to me today. A parent of a student didn't recognize me. I take it as a sign of good progress!

[Daisy Jane]

That's fantastic! A neighbor of my mom's that I'd known since childhood stop by to offer my mom condolences after her dad passed last summer. I stepped up to join the conversation and after a couple of minutes she reached out to shake my hand and introduced herself as Kathy from next door. "Hi. I'm Charlie." Her eyes got wide and her jaw hit the ground. "Charlie?!?!" She gave me a big hug.

[I Am Jess]

Congrat!  It's an amazing feeling when that happens.  After 3 years I still run into people who I haven't seen in years who have absolutely no idea who I am.  The looks on their faces when I tell them they've know me for years is priceless.

[Sonja]

wow - good for you! , but it must feel a little bit strange because its a genuine reaction from someone that the old you is gone - or at least is in your work place. Did this make you feel a little sad is some way?

Sonja.

[AnnMarie2017]

Did this make you feel a little sad is some way?

No. I don't miss that person I never was.

One of the unexpected consequences of transitioning I've encountered is a change in the intensity of negativity associated with my birth name. I always hated my birth name; but now, I sometimes have real trouble even speaking it. Sometimes when I see it used -- on mail, for example -- it is jarring.

After I got my name changed, I went to the post office (where I get all my mail) to tell them. Although I had already been receiving mail under both names for awhile, I assumed they would want the legal name of the person responsible for the PO Box on their records. But the person at the window seemed puzzled I would even bring the matter up; they seemed to think that, so long as both names were on the Box, nothing needed to be changed.

I couldn't believe this; so, some days later, I went back and spoke to a different window person. I got the same response. So I put the matter aside.

Today, I got my renewal notice; time to pay for my Box again. On the label, it said, "Customer: [deadname]." This was really upsetting. I didn't go to pieces or anything; but I couldn't get the matter out of my mind. I left, took care of some stuff I needed to do, all the time thinking about this. Finally, I decided I needed to talk to the Postmaster. I went back, took a copy of the court order changing my name, and asked to see the Postmaster. When she came out, I explained that my name had changed and I had thought they would want to change the name of the person responsible for the Box -- and she concurred! Also, as I am now full-time and don't pass, I was obviously transgender; and, although we didn't discuss it, she indicated that she understood the issue my name has for me. The problem was taken care of.

As I was turning to go, she said, "Thank you, Ann." I smiled and turned my face away; I was so pleased. I feel like crying just thinking about it.

So, it's surprising how important this has become, and how odious my birth name has become to me. I always hated it, but it wasn't like this. I've heard other girls mention an increase in dysphoria after coming out to themselves. I doubt it's an increase; I think it's more like a change in how it manifests.

[SammyHatesGreenEggs]

Hi Ann,

Congrats on the experience at work.  I hope you have many more positive experiences in the future.

I'm sorry to hear about the experience you had at the post office, but glad it eventually got fixed.

[Sonja]

As I was turning to go, she said, "Thank you, Ann." I smiled and turned my face away; I was so pleased. I feel like crying just thinking about it.

So, it's surprising how important this has become, and how odious my birth name has become to me. I always hated it, but it wasn't like this. I've heard other girls mention an increase in dysphoria after coming out to themselves. I doubt it's an increase; I think it's more like a change in how it manifests.

Thank you for Sharing AnnMarie, I'm glad she called you by your name - She must have finally realized how important it is to you to be recognized.

[CincySixx]

This just happened about 30 minutes ago.

I work the night shift at a hotel. We have a guest who comes occasionally. I just went full-time about a week ago. He was sitting in the lobby, waiting for breakfast to start, when I came in. He asked what had happened to [deadname]. I was uncomfortable, so of course I reverted to what I knew: male behavior. I said, "[Deadname] is no more. I'm Ann," and stuck out my hand. He took it, and then commented on how he had expected to see [deadname] but saw me instead.

I think he'll figure it out, in time. But I never expected something like that to happen.

This is absolutely amazing!
XD
Maybe he did figure it out.
Maybe he thought you were having a sense of humor.
Either way idk what i would do if that ever happened xD

[Gorgy_Love]

This has happened to me 3 times now and I'm not quite sure how to feel about it. I've run into 3 guys that I graduated with (3 years ago 2015) and none of them recognized me. I wasn't close friends with these guys but I had many classes with them and a few conversations they knew me and were always kind to me in school. Now it's like I walk past them or look people in the eye and they look at me like a stranger.

[kokasaki]

I know people still recognize me, so I tend to avoid places with people who know my deadname

[Priya]

Congratulations